


tell me what you need, oh, you look so free

by Jazzfordshire



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Anal, Bondage, Dirty Talk, F/F, Oral, Orgasm Denial, Praise Kink, Spanking, Strap-Ons, and a lot of strap activity, barely, boy howdy there’s a lot of tags for this one, strap-on blowjobs, straptivity if you will, technically speaking this fic has a kid in it but like, two milfs rekindle the spark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-01-04 02:03:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 56,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21189752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jazzfordshire/pseuds/Jazzfordshire
Summary: “So…” Kara says, and Lena chuckles self-consciously. “What can I do? What will get us past this?”Lena chews on her lip. It’s clear that there’s something on her mind, and Kara is determined to find out what. No matter how long it’s been she can still remember a few tricks to make Lena melt, and she employs one mercilessly, trailing her lips over Lena’s jawline all the way to her ear.“Tell me,” she murmurs, biting down on an earlobe, and she feels an almost unimaginable thrill when Lena shivers in response. “Tell me what you want.”ORAfter marriage and kids, intimacy has gone by the wayside. But when Lena asks to try something new and intense, it sends them down a path of reconnection that leaves them stronger (and thirstier) than ever.OR ORThe kinky PTA moms AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is one huge, ridiculous excuse for me to write an astronomical amount of sex while making it a 60k thesis on love and intimacy after marriage, so buckle in

_Tick, tick, tick, tick._

The moving of the clock hands seems as loud as a cannon in the stifling silence of the classroom, and Lena drums her short, manicured fingernails on the arm of her plastic chair as her son’s teacher shifts uncomfortably in her seat. Lena knows her gaze is piercing, her trademark eyebrow quirked, and she has no intention of letting up.

Miss Smythe is young, certainly no older than herself, and quite pretty, if one is into the ‘hot and mean’ type. But she’s a bad teacher, and Lena has long been sick and tired of seeing her son come home dejected and sad because his classroom experience is making him feel worthless. The mutual dislike runs deep between them, thick as fog, and without Kara’s lighter tone to offset it, it’s worse than ever.

“Your _partner_ seems to be running a little late,” Miss Smythe remarks, moving some papers around on her desk and refusing to meet Lena’s eyes.

“My wife,” Lena says quietly, and Miss Smythe startles.

“Excuse me?”

“Kara and I are _married_,” Lena says, louder this time, intentionally using her boardroom voice. “I see no reason to refer to her as anything less.”

She sees Miss Smythe glance at the sizeable diamond and white-gold wedding band on her left hand, and the woman’s lips purse in a telling way.

“My apologies,” She says, but her voice is anything but sincere. Conner has been quietly complaining all year that his 4th grade teacher ignores him, treats him differently, and it was fairly clear why from their very first meeting before Conner started middle school, when the woman’s first move wasn’t to shake their hands but instead to fiddle with the shiny gold crucifix around her neck.

This conference is technically to talk about the fact that Conner is getting a C in English, his favourite subject, but Lena fully intends to dive into the root of the problem when Kara gets here.

Thankfully, before Lena has to formulate a response to the lackluster apology, the door flies open and Kara enters, waving her hands in apology.

“I’m so sorry, I got held up with a lead and then someone in front of me blew a tire, I got here as soon as I could –“ She pulls out the chair next to Lena, but before she sits down, she leans in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

At the last second, she seems to change course, and instead she murmurs in Lena’s ear a sentence that makes her knees weak.

_“I wonder if she knows I had you bent over her desk last week?”_

Lena’s sharp intake of breath is audible only to them, but it feels like a sonic boom.

A few moments ago, she had been completely focused – the only thing she was thinking about was their son, and the way his 4th grade teacher seems determined to ignore the fact that he’s being bullied. She came in here ready to make heads roll.

But now, all she can think about is six days ago, when they had arrived early to pick him up from basketball practice and instead used that 15 minutes to sneak into this exact classroom and have a heated quickie.

Kara insisted that propping Lena’s leg up on the desk and fucking her until she had to bite her own wrist to keep quiet wasn’t a tiny act of revenge against the insufferable teacher sitting across from them right now, but Lena knows better.

Kara punctuates the whispered statement with an actual kiss, smiling in a completely innocent way that Lena knows is masking a deep satisfaction at stripping Lena’s composure.

“So, what did I miss?”

“Well, we were waiting for you. I called you both here today because Conner is getting dangerously close to a failing grade –“

Normally, this sentence would make Lena livid enough to light this entire building on fire. She’s read over Conner’s homework, and his teacher’s marking bias is pretty clear. He’s a smart kid. But right now, the conversation seems to fade into white noise, because Kara shifted _just so _and Lena’s eyes landed on something that sent her brain off the rails.

Kara is wearing one of her looser pairs of slacks, but she’s sitting in a way that stretches the fabric across her lap, and it’s clear as day from the angle Lena is sitting at.

There’s a _bulge_. Right there, along the length of Kara’s left thigh - the shape of a very distinctive toy.

Kara is packing.

Like magic, Lena’s heart is suddenly pounding in her chest. She can feel a flush taking over her neck, creeping up too obviously over her pale skin, and her body feels heavy with the desire to climb into Kara’s lap and _grind_ – or, even more temptingly, to get on her knees right here in this room, pull the toy from Kara’s pants, and take it into her mouth.

With an enormous effort, she tunes back into the conversation – Kara is very politely asking exactly why their sons grades are failing despite the fact that he’s been tested at a higher reading level than anyone else in his class – but her attention is taken away again only moments later, when Kara seems to notice Lena’s eyeline.

With a tiny smile, she moves her legs apart slightly and leans back in her chair, and it works both to emphasize the solid length that’s now painfully obvious to Lena, and to make Kara look absolutely, deliciously in control. She still has a streak of something black on the thigh of her pants, presumably from when she stopped to help a stranger change their tire, and all it’s doing is drawing attention to the situation.

Lena is thankful that the position of the desk makes it so that Ms. Smythe can’t see anything below their waists, because she can’t stop herself from reaching an idle hand to slide over Kara’s thigh, inching closer and closer until she reaches -

Kara’s sharp intake of breath is practically surround sound, to Lena. The shaft is hard under her fingers, and she gives in to her impulses - she squeezes it gently, and then _presses_.

Kara’s breath is louder, this time. It’s almost a _grunt_ \- her hips twitch under Lena’s palm, and Ms. Smythe looks up from her notes.

“Are you all right, Mrs. Danvers?”

“Fine,” Kara replies, her voice only a little bit higher than usual. Her legs stay open, and Lena’s heart pounds in time with her clit, because there’s only one reason Kara would react like that to such a gentle pressure.

She’s wearing something else, too.

It’s something they purchased years ago, the tiny and perfectly-shaped insert that fits seamlessly behind the harness and against Kara’s clit. It was a throwaway idea that, after they tried it for the first time, became a definite favourite. It lets Kara feel the pressure of her own thrusts, to get her own orgasm out of fucking Lena or even just from the pressure of Lena’s hand or mouth pressing down on the front of the harness, and knowing that she’s wearing it now gives Lena a rush of adrenaline so strong it makes her head spin.

Kara doesn’t meet Lena’s eyes, but the smile tugging at the corner of her lips is more than enough.

“I am concerned, though, about the fact that Conner has come home three times in the last month telling us that he’s being bullied, and his teacher is doing nothing.”

The strength in Kara’s voice is intoxicating. She always gets like this when their son is involved, but now, in combination with the firmness under her hand, it makes Lena’s legs ache to spread on instinct.

“We’re here to talk about Conner’s grades -“

“We’re here to talk about our son’s wellbeing at school,” Kara counters, and tingles scatter over Lena’s skin.

The rest of the meeting is excruciating.

She’s sure that Kara is doing it on purpose. She’s exuding confidence from every pore, her usual sunny disposition evaporating in the face of this teacher’s attitude. She’s unrelenting, and fierce, and at the end of the meeting when she not-so-gently suggests reporting Miss Smythe to the Superintendent of the school district, Lena shifts her legs and feels her inner thighs glide together with a telling slickness.

If Kara notices Lena’s uncharacteristic quietness, she doesn’t comment – but when Lena goes to move her hand away from the bulge in Kara’s lap, Kara grabs her hand and presses it harder.

When they leave the school building and head towards the parking lot, Kara is her sunny self again. She grabs Lena’s hand and swings their joined arms, grinning that smile that still makes Lena’s heart flutter. She’s sweet and happy, opening the door to their SUV for Lena with a dramatic, funny sweep.

But, Lena doesn’t want sweet and happy. Right now, she wants – no, she _needs_ – the Kara that was just let loose in that classroom.

Kara invited it, wearing a strap under her clothes specifically to get Lena riled up, and Lena _will_ have her craving satisfied.

The moment the car door closes behind her, Lena is heaving the centre console out of the way and climbing over the seats, uncaring of exactly how desperate that makes her look.  
  
“Lena, what - oh,” Kara says in surprise, her hands coming off the steering wheel and hovering uncertainly. “_Oh_. Oh, gosh, Lena, I was only teasing in there, you don’t have to -“  
  
But Lena ignores her.  
  
“Traffic lights,” Lena mutters frantically as she fumbles with her wife’s zipper, before Kara can even ask. “Traffic lights, please, green, _green_ -“  
  
It’s their trigger word, the word that lets Kara know that Lena needs something very specific that requires their carefully created series of safewords, and right now Lena needs to fast forward through about 4 of their usual steps in this department because she’s been looking at the imprint of the toy against Kara’s thigh for 45 minutes now and absolutely _burning_ at the idea of it.  
  
Kara, perfect Kara, takes it in stride with no hesitation. Her demeanour changes almost immediately, from surprised and slightly flustered to the enthusiastic confidence she’s gained after years of negotiation and experimentation. And Lena is _so_ grateful for all of those years, because it means that when Kara undoes her ponytail and slips a hand into Lena’s loose hair, pulling just hard enough to make her feel it, she hardly even has to say what she wants out loud. Kara knows.  
  
“Fuck,” Kara breathes, as Lena plunges a hand into her slacks and pulls out her prize - a smooth black strap-on, attached to Kara’s body with the harness that looks just like briefs. “I was going to hold off until later tonight, but you just couldn’t take it, could you?”  
  
Her hand fists in Lena’s hair, not letting her take what she wants just yet, and Lena whimpers. Her response to this toy has always been a little Pavlovian, and her face is hovering just inches from Kara’s lap, her mouth is practically watering at the closeness of it - she can almost feel the sweet ache in her jaw already.  
  
She’s been wet since Kara came into that classroom and whispered filthy things in her ear, and she needs _more_.  
  
“Answer please, baby,” Kara says softly, and her fist tightens ever so slightly.  
  
“Yes,” Lena gasps, her entire body throbbing in time with her heartbeat the same way it always does whenever Kara indulges her like this. When she’s a little forceful, a little selfish, when she makes Lena beg and plead and embarrass herself to get what she needs. It’s all by Lena’s request, every bit of it, and after 6 years of trial and error, Kara can play these scenes out with the finesse of a seasoned director.  
  
And after 6 years, the steel in her tone still makes Lena weak.  
  
“Yes, what? You know I need you to tell me.”  
  
Lena groans, licking her lips. She loves it, the burn of humiliation at having to voice every dirty thought in her head, but it’s still hard to choke them out. “Yes, I - I need you.”  
  
“What is it that you need, Lena?”  
  
“I need you in my mouth, Kara, please -“  
  
“Because you couldn’t wait, could you?” Kara’s voice is trembling almost imperceptibly, but Lena can hear it. That thread of need, the little bit of desperation that tells Lena that Kara is just as affected by this as she is. That she wants it, that she _needs_ Lena to lower her mouth onto their favourite toy and enthusiastically debase herself just as much as Lena herself does.  
  
“No,” Lena admits, her voice trembling with need. “I couldn’t wait.”  
  
“And why is that?”  
  
This is Kara’s favourite way to do this. She’s always had trouble calling Lena dirty names, although she obliges when Lena really asks for it - instead, her method is arguably just as effective.

She makes Lena do it herself.  
  
“Because -“ Lena swallows, her thighs shaking with the urge to rub against something, _anything_ for relief. They’re minutes into the scene, and Lena is already about to lose it. “Because I’m…”

Adding this element to their sex life had been Lena’s idea in the first place, and it had taken longer than anything else for Kara to come around to the idea. She had felt uncomfortable being so demeaning, but after Lena proved to her just how much it got her off, the middle ground they could both agree on became almost hotter than Kara calling her dirty names.

She makes Lena do it herself.

Kara, sensing that Lena needs some encouragement, tilts her hips upwards ever so slightly. Not enough to give Lena what she wants, but just enough to drag the tip of the toy over her lips in a merciless tease. Lena darts her tongue out to catch it, but Kara sees the shiny spot left behind, and moves her hips away again.

“Ah, ah,” Kara murmurs, her voice low but noticeably breathy. “Because…”

Lena whimpers, and the move does exactly what it was intended to do.

She finally lets go.

“Because I’m greedy,” She gasps, wanton and hot, and it’s like a pressure valve releases in her chest. “God, for you, just for you, I want it_ so bad _-“  
  
It’s the sort of thing she’s said hundreds of times, over the years, and always in a safe environment. Always with Kara on the other end, ready to guide and support her, to buoy her with love and validation. She knows that Kara has the utmost respect for her.

But every time, even six years after they started this journey together, the words still make something inside of her release. It’s base, and instinctual, but something about the humiliation of it makes her want to spread herself open and _beg_ for whatever Kara will give her.  
  
Thankfully, she knows that Kara would give her anything.  
  
With a groan, Kara loosens her grip on Lena’s hair, and Lena takes the signal for what it is. With a desperation almost feral in intensity, she opens her mouth, and wraps her lips around black silicone.

“Good girl,” Kara gasps, and Lena moans embarrassingly loudly around the 3 inches she already has in her mouth.

There’s no real explanation for why she loves this so much. Why she loves sucking Kara off with the toy attached, an appendage she can’t actually feel. Why she spent an entire 45 minute meeting unable to stop thinking about Kara fucking her mouth until she can’t _breathe_. But she does, and she did - and as the toy touches the back of her throat and she wraps her fist around the base, pressing the saddle behind the harness into Kara’s clit and making her wife gasp with unrestrained delight, she remembers.

Kara _loves_ it. And Kara’s pleasure and desire for her is as potent to Lena as her own.

Every twitch of Kara’s abs, every jump of her hips and laboured breath, is a reward. Her mouth is full of warm silicone and she can smell Kara’s arousal through the open zipper of her pants, can hear wet noises every time she moves her fist. And when Kara starts to talk, her voice strained but confident, Lena can’t help but throw herself completely into her task.

Make Kara come in her mouth.

“You’ve been thinking about this since I walked in, haven’t you?” Kara says, her hips staying stationary so that Lena has to be the one to bob her head up and down over the shaft, and she can already feel the ache she’s going to have in her neck and jaw tomorrow. It’ll remind her of this for days, every twinge bringing her back to this moment, and if her mouth wasn’t otherwise occupied, she’d smile.

Instead Lena whimpers her affirmative around the toy, unable to lie about where her thoughts have been, and even though she can’t see it, she knows from over 10 years of experience that Kara is probably biting her lip almost hard enough to bleed.

“I love watching your mouth on me. How much you want it,” Kara murmurs, and Lena moves her head faster, taking in more and more of Kara every time. Kara hisses at the extra pressure, and Lena feels the reaction in her own clit. “How much you love sucking me off.”

That earns Lena’s loudest moan yet. It isn’t often that Kara will use specific words to refer to what they’re doing, and Lena isn’t always in the mood for them either - but every so often the mood strikes and their desires converge and Kara will stroke her hair and tell her how good she is for or riding her face or taking a whole fist in her cunt, and it gets Lena across the finish line like nothing else.

Today is no exception. If she had any stimulation whatsoever below the waist she probably would have come just from Kara’s words; but as it is, she just clenches around nothing and whimpers, desperately trying to get more of Kara into her mouth while her hair is still being tugged.

“You get off on this, don’t you?“ Kara continues breathily, as if Lena isn’t currently enthusiastically blowing her in the school parking lot front of God and whoever else happens to walk by close enough to see into the driver’s seat.

But she’s right. Lena _does_ get off on this, and Kara knows it just as well as she knows that being reminded of it will get her almost as worked up as the act itself. So Lena just moans again, braces herself, and proves exactly _how_ _much_ she wants this.

Lena’s lips finally touch the top of her fist, still gripped around the base, and slowly and carefully she lays her hand flat against the harness – still pressing, shifting, making sure Kara’s clit is getting the attention it needs – and moves her mouth further still. Down the spit-slick shaft, _down_, until it’s fully down her throat.

She’s showing off, now. It’s all visual, all about Kara watching her take the entire thing and suppress her gag reflex, but it’s absolutely worth struggling to breathe out of her nose to watch Kara lose her composure.

She can hear Kara groan, can feel the quiver of her hips as she struggles not to cant them upwards; she’s only half successful, and when Lena presses particularly hard with the heel of her palm, Kara twitches hard enough that Lena almost chokes just from surprise.

“_Shoot_, I’m sorry –“ Kara starts, but when Lena finally frees her mouth to take a few wet, heaving breaths, she waves her off.

“Shh. It’s fine, I’m green,” Lena says, her voice raspy. She knows her chin is a little wet, knows she must look like a complete mess, but Kara’s pupils are completely blown and she looks about ready to explode.

Exactly what Lena wants.

“God, Lena –“ Kara starts, but she’s interrupted.

“Fuck my mouth?”

Immediately, Kara seems to know what to do, and again Lena thanks their years of practice because there’s almost no hesitation before the hand in her hair is gently but decisively guiding her back, back to Kara’s lap until her mouth wraps around the toy again.

“You good?” Kara asks, her abs still quivering, and with her mouth full, Lena holds up three fingers.

It’s an extension of their usual traffic light safewords, used when their mouths are covered or otherwise occupied – three fingers for green, two for yellow, and one for red. And it has exactly the desired effect – with a relieved grin, Kara grips her hair tighter, and thrusts up into her mouth with gradually increasing speed.

It’s intoxicating, this feeling – opening her mouth as wide as she can, relaxing, and letting herself be _used_. Used on her own terms, in a scenario of her choice, by someone she loves and trusts. There’s a power in it, in reducing Kara to a quivering mess with just her mouth, in being just a tiny bit objectified when she knows Kara has more respect for her as a person than anyone in the world, and the thrill of it is exactly why they started trying this kind of sex when Conner went to kindergarten.

The strap nudges the back of her throat, going deeper with every pass, and Lena can feel her mouth watering to overcompensate for the intrusion. It’s hard, and rough, and exactly what she wanted, and Lena clenches her hands in the fabric of Kara’s slacks and holds on for the ride.

“Do you want it harder?” Kara asks, already breathing hard, and Lena is so fucking grateful for how well her wife knows her, because _yes_. She does want it harder. She wants her throat fucked so hard that she can’t talk tomorrow, and Kara knows it.

Immediately, Lena whimpers around the length as she raises three fingers. She wants more, wants Kara to test her limits, and Kara nods as she bites her lip.

“Tell me if it’s too much.”

Lena loses track of time, after that. It could be minutes, it could be hours, she has no idea – she just knows heat, and hardness, and the rhythm of Kara’s hips and her own breathing. Kara drapes an arm casually across the back of the passenger seat, the picture of control, and it makes Lena even more desperate.

It’s blissful, even as Kara’s movements get less even and Lena has to struggle to get breaths in.

Finally Kara starts to whine, thrusting harder as she gets closer to the edge, and Lena can hardly breathe – she can feel her eyes watering and her saliva is leaving a dark stain on the front of Kara’s pants, dripping down the shaft, and god it’s fucking _exquisite_. Her jaw is aching and her lipstick has to be all over her face right now, but all she wants is _more_ – she’s bobbing her head to meet Kara’s hips, practically slamming her throat down on the toy and pressing her palm rhythmically down on the saddle in time with it. Any pain or discomfort is a ghost in her head, drowned out by a louder voice.

_Make Kara come_.

It’s obvious how close Kara is, now. Her movements are getting jerky and irregular, her breath coming in gasps and pants, and Lena is filled with the glowing knowledge that it’s because of her. Finally Kara’s arm slides down from the back of the seat and fists in Lena’s hair again, and Lena’s hips are in the air and far from Kara’s hands or mouth but her legs still spread instinctually, as if her body is hoping by some miracle she might get fucked.

“Greedy girl, god, you take me so good –“ Kara gasps shakily, her entire body tightening in a way that Lena knows is the calm before the storm. She’s reached Lena’s favourite stage, where she loses all sense of self-consciousness or shame and starts babbling every filthy thought that comes into her head, and it drives Lena wild. “So, _so_ good, Lena, so close, _yes_ –“

If her throat wasn’t currently full of Kara, Lena would have moaned. As it is, all that comes out is a wet sort of choked whimper, and her clit throbs so painfully that it takes all her willpower not to just shove a shaking hand between her own legs.

Instead she speeds up the pace, pushing down against the toy and Kara with her hand and the motion of her mouth, and finally Kara comes with a broken cry. Her hips jerk up hard, and Lena can’t help but choke a little at the unexpected force of it – but when Kara starts to pull away, concerned even in the midst of her orgasm, Lena just seizes her hips and pulls her close again.

When Kara’s hips have stopped twitching and her head lolls back against the seat, her chest heaving, Lena finally releases the toy with a wet noise, licking her lips and laying a kiss to the tip as Kara recovers. The deep satisfaction of making Kara come, of a craving satisfied, is almost enough to make her forget the fact that her body is on fire.

Almost.

Thankfully, Kara doesn’t make her wait for long. The moment she returns to full consciousness, her eyes widening as Lena wipes her face with a shaky hand, she’s pulling Lena into her lap, completely uncaring of the untinted window and the parking lot beyond.

“Come here, fuck, I want you to come on me,“ Kara gasps, her fingers digging hard into Lena’s hips and dragging her dress up to bunch around her waist. “Want you to come, _please_ –“

She hardly has the words out before Lena frantically pulls her panties to the side, lines the strap up, and slams herself down. It takes less than 10 seconds, a few hard thrusts and Lena’s fingers shakily rubbing at her swollen clit until she’s coming, throbbing around the toy, Kara’s teeth sinking into her shoulder.

For a few moments, all Lena feels is sweet, blessed relief. Her hearing goes a little fuzzy, and everything is just sex and love and searing pleasure. She comes back to herself gradually, each ache in her body – her jaw, her throat, her scalp, her shoulder where Kara bit down – making itself known with a pleasant glow, and Kara is right there to catch her just like always.

“I love you so much,” Kara murmurs, trailing soft kisses up her neck and along her jawline. “You’re so perfect, Lena. You make me feel so good.”

Lena basks in it, in the gentleness after her craving for roughness has been sated, and anything outside the confines of their SUV is completely forgotten as she floats on the tail end of her orgasm and Kara’s focused attention.

But, their customary aftercare is interrupted when Kara’s eyes catch sight of the dashboard clock.

“Shoot!” Kara hisses, her spine jerking into straightness. “Shoot, crap, we’re late –“

“What?” Lena rasps, still dazed and full and happy. Kara’s jolt sent an aftershock through her body, and it’s making it hard to concentrate. “Late?”

“To pick Conner up from karate, we were supposed to be there 5 minutes ago!“

Realization crashes into Lena, and immediately she slips off of Kara’s lap – stifling a groan at the sudden loss of fullness – and clambers back into the passenger seat. “Shit. Drive, shit, _drive_ –“

Kara starts the car, hurriedly stuffing the strap – still wet with come and saliva, Lena notes with a distracted shiver – back into her pants, and throws the car into gear.

“I can’t believe I forgot!“ Kara says, the tires screeching as she pulls out into the street and guns the engine towards the karate studio. “I should have been watching the clock –“

“In your defense, I was giving you other things to think about,” Lena says, pulling down the visor mirror. Her eyes widen at her appearance – her mascara is smudged halfway to her temple on one side, her lipstick smeared all over her swollen lips, and her hair is a tangle in the back where Kara’s hand was clenched.

She looks completely debauched, and she has about 7 minutes to fix it.

It doesn’t help that, as she hurriedly tries to wipe off and re-apply her lipstick and throws her hair back into a messy ponytail, Kara keeps looking over and getting distracted. After the third time she almost veers into the next lane because she’s too busy staring at Lena trying to scrub away the remnants of her mascara with a wet wipe, Lena has to physically grab her wife’s chin and turn it forward.

“If you don’t stop staring, we’re going to end up in a wreck on the side of the road, and you’ll have to explain to the paramedics why you have a strap-on under your pants.”

Kara blushes, looking back at the road, and huffs as they hit another red light. “It’s not my fault you look so good when you’ve just been fucked.”

The sentence, that expletive said so matter-of-factly in Kara’s normal outside-the-bedroom voice, makes Lena throb and glow with praise.

She fully intends on finishing what they started, when Conner goes to sleep.

She’s passably presentable by the time they pull into the parking lot, and Lena has just hidden the handful of tissues and wet wipes covered in smudged makeup in Kara’s empty Starbucks cup when Conner climbs in, throwing his duffel bag and backpack onto the seat beside him.

“You guys are late! Where were you?”

“The parent-teacher conference ran a little long, sweetie, sorry. We came as fast as we could,” Lena says, and she has to seriously resist the urge to punch Kara in the thigh when she snorts like a child at the wording.

Thankfully, their son doesn’t notice.

“How was practice?”

As Conner chatters happily about how his sensei said he might be promoted to blue belt, Lena surreptitiously drapes her cardigan over Kara’s lap, and Kara grins, grabbing her hand and twining their fingers together.

It’s been an interesting road, getting to this point of mutual understanding, but every step has been worth it.

* * *

** _5 years earlier_ **

“Are we sure he has everything he needs?”

The anxiety in Lena’s voice is painfully evident as Conner walks away from them, led by the hand by his new Kindergarten teacher. His little backpack is almost as big as he is, and he looked so excited to finally start school that Kara almost can’t be sad that he’s starting to grow up.

Lena, however, clearly can. Her eyes are welling up the further away their son gets, and knows she has to intervene before her wife scoops Conner up and insists he stay home another year.

“He’s fine. We got him all the supplies on the list, and then some. We even did a background check on his teacher.”

“A federal one, sure, but did we do an international check? She could have outstanding warrants in Canada or something –“

“Lena!” Kara finally interrupts, putting gentle hands on her wife’s shoulders. “He’s been wanting to go to school since he was old enough to talk. This is one of the safest schools in the state, and he’s only going every other day.”

“What if he gets bullied?”

“We talk to his teacher about it.”

Lena sighs, her shoulders slumping as all the air leaves her lungs. “Okay. I know I’m being crazy, I just –“

“I know,” Kara says, hugging her close and kissing her hair. “I’m going to miss him, too.”

The drive home is quiet. Lena spends it staring out the window contemplatively as Kara navigates them home, and the booster seat in the back seems emptier than usual, but Kara can’t help but be secretly relieved. They’ve been building towards this day for months now, both of them getting the beginnings of empty-nest syndrome, and now it seems like the worst is over.

In fact, with Conner gone three days a week, they might actually get some time to themselves for the first time in 4 years.

Ever since they adopted Conner when he was only a few weeks old, their lives narrowed to a singular focus. They alternated days working from home to take care of him, with Eliza subbing in when they both couldn’t manage it, and Lena hired her now-best friend Sam Arias as co-CEO of L-Corp to pick up the slack. Their work and home lives both got more hectic, and along the way, personal time fell to the wayside.

It’s something she tries not to think about too often. As much as she loves her son, Kara misses having time just with Lena. Having dates, cozy nights in, even just sleeping in a bed together without being interrupted by early work calls or a 4 year old having a bad dream.

And, _god_, she misses sex.

It’s not a make-or-break thing. Most days, she can forget about the fact that it’s been god only knows how long since she’s even been fully naked with her wife besides the occasional rushed co-shower. Some days are more difficult than others, but that’s just being a parent.

At least, that’s what she’s been told.

By the time they pull in the driveway, Lena seems to have mostly calmed down. They both took the day off of work (at Lena’s insistence, just in case Conner gets homesick and they need to come get him), and so Kara leads her into the empty house with a gentle hand on her back, taking her coat and hanging it up as Lena makes her wandering way to the bedroom. Her heels are abandoned in the hallway, and when Kara enters she’s slowly removing her earrings, looking at herself in the mirror.

“You okay?” Kara asks carefully, and Lena seems to startle out of a reverie. She meets Kara’s eyes in the mirror, and her smile is small but genuine.

“I think so. It still feels strange, but…I’m alright.”

Kara nods, relieved, and starts working on taking down her own ponytail. She sighs in quiet pleasure as she runs her fingers through her hair, scratching at her scalp, but when she opens her eyes again, her throat goes slightly dry.

Lena is looking at her. Intensely.

“What?” Kara asks self-consciously, running her hands through her hair again. Lena’s voice, when she replies, is low and throaty in a way that Kara hasn’t heard in ages.

She doubts its for the reason she thinks (hopes) it is, but –

“Conner isn’t home.”

“…no, he isn’t,” Kara answers, her own voice not entirely steady.

“And he won’t be back for _hours_,” Lena continues.

“Are you worried?” Kara asks, slightly disappointed but immediately in comforting mode. “We can call the school if you want –“

But Lena shakes her head. A few seconds later she’s cleared the distance between them, and Kara forgets everything else because Lena is kissing her. Not a sweet, chaste kiss, but hard and fast, her fingers threaded in Kara’s loose hair. The kind of kiss she hasn’t had since Conner was too young to realize what they were doing. They’re pressed together, chest to chest, and Lena’s tongue is in her mouth, and _god_, she’d almost forgotten what this was like. To have Lena all to herself, her wife hot and willing in her arms without being half-checked out in case Conner wakes up.

Suddenly desperate to take advantage of this moment before it inevitably ends, Kara seizes Lena’s hips, stumbling back and onto the bed. Lena lands on top of her, a welcome weight, but her heart thunders in her chest from more than just excitement. Past the surprise and arousal, there’s something else.

Nerves.

There was a time, not so long ago, where Kara would have known exactly what to do. She would have pulled them both further up on the bed, rolled them over, hiked up Lena’s skirt, and made Lena forget her own name. But today, when it’s been years since she had Lena’s full attention like this, she’s finding herself at a loss. Their kisses are stilted, not completely aligned the way they used to be. Her hands are unsure, her mind cloudy, and when she tries to roll them over to take some control of the situation Lena clearly isn’t expecting it. Her wife raises her head just as Kara dips, and their foreheads collide with a _crack_.

“Ow! _Shit_ –“ Kara hisses, sitting up and putting a hand to the welt. “I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lena insists, moving closer for a kiss. It lands somewhere between Kara’s nose and mouth, and Kara’s teeth collide with her lips.

Trying to salvage the situation, Kara pushes herself up to gain her bearings again, and puts her hand directly on Lena’s hair. To her credit, her wife doesn’t make a big deal of it, but she knows it can’t have been comfortable to have her hair yanked unceremoniously.

“God, Lena, I’m so sorry,” Kara babbles, freezing completely to prevent any further accidents. “I’m such a _klutz_.”

Lena rubs at her forehead, letting out a wry chuckle. “It’s okay. I should have known I couldn’t just jump you out of nowhere without it being awkward.”

“But I _want_ you to jump me,” Kara says, barely concealing the whine in her voice. She eases herself down more carefully this time, propping herself on an elbow. “Lena…how did this happen?”

Lena sighs, cupping Kara’s cheek with a wince. She runs a finger over the red mark on Kara’s forehead, trailing it down to her lips and tracing over them softly.

“We had a child.”

“Didn’t we say when we had him that it wouldn’t change anything?” Kara huffs, trying to figure out where it all went wrong. They were so determined, in the beginning, not to grow apart – but they did.

“I think we were fooling ourselves,” Lena murmurs. She sounds sad, even more sad than she was when they said goodbye to Conner this morning, and every fibre of Kara’s being screams at her to make it better.

“I don’t want to get any further away from you,” She says firmly, moving closer and kissing the tip of Lena’s nose. “Ever. I want to fix this. I want _you_.”

“I want you, too.” Lena sounds just as earnest as Kara feels, and it’s just enough to bolster her confidence.

“_So_…” Kara says finally, and Lena chuckles self-consciously. “What can I do? What will get us past this?”

Lena chews on her lip. It’s clear that there’s something on her mind, and Kara is determined to find out what. No matter how long it’s been, she can still remember a few tricks to make Lena melt, and she employs one mercilessly, trailing her lips over Lena’s jawline all the way to her ear.

“Tell me,” She murmurs, biting down on an earlobe, and she feels an almost unimaginable thrill when Lena shivers in response. “Tell me what you want.”

Lena exhales shakily, one hand clenching in the sheets. It takes her a few false starts, but when she finally voices her desire, she feels it in her entire body.

“It always really worked for me when you…when you held my hands down.”

“…really?” Kara asks breathlessly, the surprise coming through in her voice, and she can see in real-time the way Lena withdraws. She covers her face with her hands, embarrassment clear in every pore, and Kara is quick to backpedal.

“No, don’t – don’t withdraw! I’m sorry, I was just surprised,” She insists, gently prising Lena’s hands away. “Why do you like it? I want to do it right.”

Lena keeps her eyes closed, but she still responds after a minute of thinking.

“I like to feel out of control.”

“Oh,” Kara says, blinking as the full meaning behind the statement sinks in. I like to feel out of control. Lena wants her to take control, to pin her to the bed and…“_Oh_.”

“Yeah,” Lena says, biting her lip so hard that Kara is worried she might draw blood. It isn’t that it’s a dynamic they haven’t played with before, but in this context – when they haven’t had sex of any kind in so long, when Lena is requesting it specifically as a way to get her past a mental block – it feels different. Intense.

And incredibly, unbearably hot.

“Well,” Kara says, her voice cracking slightly on the word. “I think I can do that.”

For the first time in a few minutes, Lena actually meets Kara’s eyes.

“Really?” She asks cautiously, and Kara nods enthusiastically.

“Just give me a sec.”

Springing off the bed, Kara makes a beeline for the lowest drawer in her dresser, pushing aside old sweaters and pyjama pants until she finds what she’s looking for. A flat wooden box, hidden under layers of clothes, with a simple latch keeping it closed. This she flicks, opening the top and revealing the contents.

It might be ridiculous, but Kara feels a genuine ache in her chest looking down at the collection of toys that she hasn’t touched in years. Two harnesses, set to each of their hip sizes, sit surrounded by a few vibrators and dildos of varying sizes and colours along with a small bottle of lube and a blindfold. They hadn’t been insanely adventurous before having Conner, but their sex life had been robust and healthy, and there was a time when this box was opened more nights than it wasn’t. Now, everything lies dusty and unused.

Not anymore.

Grabbing her harness and the smaller of the two straps, Kara stands up, leaving the box open, and slips the toy through the ring. She dangles it from a finger as she turns around, and she can almost see Lena’s pupils dilate from across the room.

“Oh,” Lena breathes, and Kara can see her rub her thighs together minutely. It bolsters her confidence.

Lena wants her. She wants _this_.

“I’m going to go wash this,” Kara says, her voice lower than usual – almost gravelly, in a way that makes Lena visibly shudder. “While I’m gone, will you take off your clothes?”

It’s a beginner’s attempt at assertiveness, but Lena responds to it with verve. She nods rapidly, already twisting around to pull the zipper of her dress down, and Kara has to duck into the ensuite before her knees get too weak at the immediate, unquestioning way Lena follows her request.

She cleans the toy thoroughly and quickly, slipping the harness on before the silicone is even fully dry, and by the time she’s stepping back into the room Lena is waiting in a position that makes Kara’s brain melt into a puddle.

She’s completely naked, her clothes in an uncharacteristically haphazard pile on the floor, with her legs spread and a hand between them. She’s wet already, Kara can see it on her fingers, and she’s flushed from her chest up to her forehead.

For a second, Kara just drinks it in. Lena’s hair is spread out under her head, inky black and soft, and her toes are curling and uncurling in the sheets as she slides shaky fingers over her clit. Her arm digs slightly into her stomach, desperate in her quest, and Kara wants to bury her face in the softness there – kiss her way down and over her pelvis and lower her mouth –

There’s so much she wants to do. But finally, she interrupts the scene. As good as it is to watch Lena fuck herself…it’s her turn.

“Starting without me?” Kara says, gripping the toy more tightly than necessary, her mouth watering. Lena’s eyes fly open, her breath catching as she sees Kara.

But she doesn’t stop.

“I –“ Lena says, her voice breathy. “I couldn’t stop thinking about –“ Her voice falters, but her fingers continue.

“About me holding you down and fucking you?” Kara says, and Lena actually _moans_, her head tipping back onto the pillows and her legs spreading wider. She has no idea what possessed her to say it – she doesn’t have an extraordinarily dirty mouth, usually – but it so clearly works for Lena that she curses herself for not discovering this sooner.

“Hands on the headboard.”

As if she’s been waiting for the order, Lena’s hands abandon their task immediately. She puts both of them on headboard, her legs still spread and ready, and Kara climbs onto the bed, trying to disguise how much she’s trembling. Excitement, nervousness, and overwhelming desire all thunder through her, and she can see all three reflected back at her in Lena’s face.

There’s a mark on the wood of the headboard under Lena’s right hand, a streak of wetness that spreads under the two fingers that so recently had another job, and the reminder of how _ready_ Lena is for this makes the nervousness recede in favour of the other two. Most potently, desire.

Kara tilts her hips forward, the toy nudges Lena at the perfect angle, and Lena jolts into it, her feet rising into the air around Kara’s thighs.

“Fuck,” She breathes, her head flying back and her legs wrapping around Kara’s waist as Kara grinds herself down more determinedly. “_Fuck_, Kara.”

“You want it?” Kara murmurs, seized by a wild need to give Lena what she’s asking for. A loss of control; and it works beautifully. Lena arches dramatically, her voice getting higher and more breathy than Kara has ever heard it.

“Yes, god, _yes_, _please_ –“ She gasps, her hands leaving the headboard to clutch at Kara’s back. It’s a move that Kara would ordinarily encourage – she has a particular fondness for the harsh red lines that Lena’s nails leave on her skin – but not this time. Determined to see this through to the end, she snatches Lena’s hands from their place and pins her wrists to the mattress above her head.

It all blurs together a bit, after that.

Lena, spurred by the buildup and the forcefulness, loses all inhibition. She bares herself completely, begs for Kara to fuck her, and no matter how hard Kara is trying to be in control, she can’t say no to anything her wife asks in that _voice_. The next few minutes are seared into her memory like a series of photographs, each hitting harder than the last.

The strap sinking in, Lena tilting her hips up rhythmically before Kara has even bottomed out. Lena struggling slightly against her hold, getting even more openly turned on when Kara’s hands don’t budge. A rhythm being picked up, slow at first but gathering speed, until Lena is crying out with every thrust. Lena is clearly racing to the finish line, hovering on the razor’s edge after less than a minute, and as her awareness returns Kara is suddenly desperate for it to not be over yet.

“Kara –“ Lena gasps, as Kara snaps her hips particularly hard. “Fuck, baby, I’m so close –“

“Not yet,” Kara pants, not letting up her rhythm but injecting her voice with a hint of command that feels natural right now in a way it never has before. Their dynamic has always been equal, but with Lena’s request she can feel something coming over her. A desire to take charge, to give Lena a rule and watch her rise to the occasion. It’s unfamiliar, but Lena reacts to it beautifully with a long, drawn-out moan and a frantic nod.

“_God_, I – okay. Okay,” She whimpers, her back arching off the bed. “I can wait, I can wait for you –“

“That’s it,” Kara croons breathlessly, sweat forming between their bodies and making the smack of skin-on-skin contact even louder. “Wait for me to tell you when to come.”

She can feel Lena shake underneath her, her entire body strung like a bow in the desperate attempt to hold off her orgasm. Her thighs are tight and trembling on either side of Kara’s hips, her head thrown back and face contorted in withheld pleasure, and Kara can feel how tight her cunt is squeezing the toy just in how difficult it is to keep her rhythm. It’s _exquisite_, and she feels a surge of pride – in herself, for creating the scene, and in Lena for succeeding.

“Kara, Kara, Kara, god, please, please –“ Lena chants under her breath, and Kara can see the pure effort it’s taking to hold back. How hard Lena is working for her. She wait’s one beat, and then another. The tension is pulled so tight that it could snap at any minute, and send both of them careening into the sun.

And, god, it’s intoxicating.

“Now,” She finally grunts, feeling an ache in her abs as she works at speeding up her hips to push Lena over the edge. “Go ahead, you can –“

The rest of her sentence is drowned out by Lena’s wail, her hands finally wresting out of the now-shaky hold and clutching hard at Kara’s shoulders as she comes harder than Kara has ever seen her. It’s a sound Kara has heard only a few times, during particularly spirited rounds of sex before Conner, and hearing it again as a direct result of her pointed efforts is overwhelming. She can feel her own clit pulsing in time with her slowing hips, a sympathetic orgasm wrung out of her by the searing-hot image of Lena coming, and as she catches her breath somewhere in the crook of Lena’s neck she realizes that not all of the moisture on her face is sweat.

It’s a catharsis of another kind, a release in her chest as well as between her legs, and for a few blissful moments she just cries into her wife’s neck, basking in the indescribable feeling of _connection_ that’s been missing for over 4 years. For a long time she was able to brush it off, to let the memory of this emotional link fade, but feeling it come roaring back as their bodies cool together is healing in a way she didn’t expect.

She can feel Lena’s heartbeat thundering through her pulse point, can feel her heavy breathing start to even out as she draws lazy, unthinking patterns over Kara’s shoulders, and it’s incredibly peaceful until Kara sniffles. Lena pauses in her drawing, craning her head down until she can see Kara’s face.

“Are you crying?” She says, her voice full of concern. “Oh my god, Kara, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I just – wait, _you’re_ crying,” Kara retorts, pointing at the tear streaks that track down Lena’s temples. Lena raises a startled hand to her own face, looking confused when it comes away wet.

“I didn’t…I feel fine?” She says, perplexed, and Kara laughs wetly, resting her forehead on Lena’s sternum and letting out a breath.

“I do too. More than fine, actually. I just…I missed this _so_ much,” She admits in a whisper. She can feel Lena relax and loosen under her, her hand easing into Kara’s hair.

“Me, too. Why did we stop doing this, again?” Kara can hear the smile in her voice, but there’s a thread of real vulnerability in the question.

“We were too busy when Conner was little, and then the longer it went, the weirder it seemed to start again,” Kara says honestly.

Lena nods. “That…sounds accurate. Let’s not do that again.”

“Agreed.”

Lena hums happily, massaging Kara’s scalp with her short nails, and for a few minutes they just bask together. Realizing that she’s still attached to Lena by the length of silicone still inside her, Kara pulls out gently, and warm sparks bloom in her chest when Lena immediately pulls her close again, not even letting her get far away enough to take the harness off. It wedges between them, resting in the crease of her thigh, and she doesn’t even care. Lena is wrapping herself around her again, and the closeness is worth it.

“So…that was okay?” Kara finally asks, clarifying when Lena looks at her with a quirked brow. “I mean – obviously the sex was great. But like, how I…didn’t let you come? I wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted, but you seemed so into it, I wanted to make sure –“

Lena interrupts her with a request that knocks the air from her lungs.

“Kara…can we get some handcuffs?”

They absolutely get some handcuffs.

It’s clear that Lena is interested in trying new things – she reacts very well to each of the small things Kara has suggested already – but since after that first day she so rarely voices exactly what she wants, it’s difficult for Kara to determine what she should try, beyond light bondage and some dirty talk. She uses their new handcuffs, she gets a little rougher than usual, she whispers in Lena’s ear when she’s about to come, but try as she might, she can’t get Lena to admit to any other fantasies.

She wishes she could just read Lena’s mind, delve into all those places that Lena thinks are dark and shadowy, plumb the depths and figure out every dirty thing she wants Kara to do to her – but Lena remains stubbornly vague, and it’s driving Kara _crazy_.

At least, until Kara finds Lena’s secret amateur erotica stash.

It happens innocuously enough. It’s a typical Wednesday, Lena sleeping peacefully in bed next to her as she does some last-minute scheduling to get Conner to his extracurriculars next week, and she realizes she doesn’t have a few of his schedules, having just switched to a new phone. So she grabs Lena’s tablet, sitting on her bedside table, and settles into bed to finish off her task.

But when she presses her fingerprint to the sensor and opens it, it isn’t Lena’s homescreen she sees. It isn’t a schedule, or one of Lena’s work applications.

It’s a _blogging site_, apparently one maintained by Lena. It seems innocuous at first, if surprising – Lena isn’t exactly the blogging type – until Kara idly scrolls down to look at a few posts, and almost chokes on air.

The first page is chock-full of gifs and images of _very_ specific and definitely pornographic acts, all being done by what look like amateur couples, and Kara scrolls through them with ever-widening eyes.

A dark-haired woman tied with expert knots in a soft-looking rope. One woman on her knees while another drives a strap-on into her mouth with devastating precision. Someone resembling Lena, if she squints, with her legs spread and a sizeable anal plug being inserted by a faceless female partner. A feminine hand wrapped around an equally delicate neck, the second woman’s mouth occupied by a black rubber ball gag. It’s a collage of women being tied and spanked and bent over by each other, and almost always a brunette being fucked by a blonde. And there are stories, too – fiction and non-fiction, detailing each of the things visually represented on the page and more.

Porn isn’t something Kara has consumed much of in her life. It’s generally off-putting, riddled with male gaze and obviously not made _for her_. But, this seems different. It’s all nonprofessional, just homemade gifs and videos showing moments of genuine passion and hunger, each clip ending in some kind of aftercare - the couple holding each other or kissing and smiling, genuine and joyful and soft. It feels less like porn, and more like just a lot of couples with camcorders. It feels accessible. It feels _real_.

Even so, the idea that Lena has been looking at this, thinking about it, even getting off to it, is…stirring.

It’s so distracting that she almost doesn’t notice Lena waking up, consumed as she is with absorbing every detail of a short video wherein a blonde woman is enthusiastically sliding her strap-on between a brunette’s breasts, slick with something – spit, come, lube, she’s not sure, but whatever it is the brunette seems to have no qualms having it in her mouth as she sucks at the tip of it on every thrust –

“Darling? Are you okay?”

Lena is turning over, squinting at the light of the tablet, and Kara’s soul leaves her earthly body.

She resists the urge to throw the tablet across the room to hide the evidence of her snooping, but barely. She exits the app instead, pulling up the tab she originally meant to use with a shaky hand.

“Yeah, I’m fine! I just - I needed to look up Conner’s soccer schedule.” It’s not exactly a lie – she did intend on looking the soccer schedule up, since the under-6 soccer league is something they only signed him up for recently – and Lena accepts it easily.

“Mmm, okay. Don’t stay up too late,” Lena murmurs sleepily, turning back over and hugging the pillow to her chest.

Well. Kara clearly has some work to do.

* * *

When Conner went to school, Lena thought she’d be lonely on the days he was away. She thought she’d feel older, like her child didn’t need her anymore. She thought she’d be sad.

She did not think she’d end up naked and spread-eagled on her bed, attached by soft ropes to four brand-new metal rings Kara installed in their bedframe when she wasn’t home and waiting for her wife to decide when she deserves to be fucked.

Not that she’s complaining. This is literally a secret fantasy come to life, the kind of thing she only really considered during the precious few moments she’s had since they settled down to lock herself in the bath and eke out a fast and dirty orgasm; and even now, as Kara calmly adjusts the ropes and fixes her with a hungry stare that makes her clit throb, it doesn’t quite feel real.

In fact, in general the last 2 months haven’t felt real. Ever since the day Conner went to school and Kara wiped away 5 years of unintentional emotional distance by pinning her to their bed and making her come so hard she saw stars, Kara seems to have developed a sixth sense. Every time Conner is gone she seems to pull out something new, seems to know every dirty little thought Lena has ever had, and it feels like she’s had more orgasms in the last 8 weeks than she has since they got married.

It’s not that their sex before had been bad. It had been perfectly satisfying, passionate and intimate, at least before they adopted Conner. But there were always things she wanted to try that she never quite had the courage to ask for, things she’d been ashamed of wanting. Instead she filed them away or found them online for private moments, and now Kara seems to guess at more and more of them by the day. She buys cuffs, takes charge; she learns complicated knots so expert that Lena knows she must have done some research, and ups her dirty talk to a degree that makes Lena’s toes curl. 

And today, she’s graduated to tying Lena’s feet as well as her hands. Lena is trussed helplessly to the bedframe, and Kara is still fully dressed and behind the footboard, fiddling with something on the floor.

“You didn’t learn these knots in the Girl Scouts, did you? That’s so unwholesome,“ Lena says, trying to hide her breathlessness with snark. “What are you doing down there?”

But Kara calls her bluff right away. She just pops her head back up above the mattress and tugs at one of the lower ropes, twitching Lena’s legs open even further, exposing her to the cold air and her hot gaze.

“I have my secrets. Keep sassing, and I’m gonna make you wait even longer.”

Lena whimpers, and Kara’s grin is devastating. “Although, is it really a punishment if you’re usually _begging_ to be teased?”

And, god, the _confidence_. Kara has never been a wallflower in bed, but ever since that first experimentation with restraining, Kara seems to have started taking on a self-assuredness that makes Lena’s knees weak. It melts away the moment they’re finished, Kara immediately taking on a caretaker mode full of soft words and softer hands, asking a hundred questions to make sure Lena liked what she did; but up until Lena comes, it’s just absolute mind-melting certainty.

It’s exactly what Lena never thought she’d have, and it still makes most of her brain short-circuit.

“I suppose not,” She manages, her toes curling into nothing, held aloft by the soft ropes keeping her in place. “But then, I’ve never been one to shy away from punishment, have I?”

Kara hums her acknowledgement, crawling back up Lena’s body to practically hover over her in an effortless show of strength that makes Lena quiver. “True. But any more back-talk, and I’m going to have to gag you.”

Kara may be teasing, but if the last few weeks are any indication, Lena knows that she’s completely capable of following through. A jolt of hot, electric desire shoots from her clit all the way to the tips of her fingers at the thought – of Kara gagging her, covering her mouth with a silk tie or a ball gag and fucking her until she’s biting through it, watching her struggle and strain and come. Her hips twitch helplessly, and she can’t contain her intake of breath.

Kara smiles.

“Noted.”

Lena swallows hard, the implicit promise only firing her up even more. It makes her want to be gagged _now_, to feel the fabric getting wet with her saliva, but when Kara finally strips off her shirt and leans in for the teasing ghost of a kiss, the fabric of her slacks pressing into Lena’s bare cunt and her breath hot on Lena’s lips, she acquiesces that this is pretty fucking fantastic, too.

“Not this time,” Kara murmurs, nipping at Lena’s lower lip and apparently reading her mind. “I want to hear you.”

God. Fuck. God and _fuck_, Lena’s wife is going to kill her.

And slowly, inch by inch, she does. Kara devours Lena with a verve bordering on indulgence – she spends aching minutes on her nipples, sucking on them slow and focused in a way that makes her clit throb. She sucks deep marks into every hideable place on her torso, leaving a trail of red over her shoulders, her ribs, her breasts, until every breath Lena takes is a ragged gasp. Being naked and vulnerable while Kara holds every scrap of control, still in her tight work pants and belt and with her nipples straining against her sports bra, makes her feel _exposed_ in the best way.

She’s on fire, and Kara has water in one hand and gasoline in the other. With the little brain capacity Lena has left, she wonders which Kara will choose.

A single finger slips in; Kara chooses the gasoline.

It’s hardly anything, contextually speaking. Lena is used to taking things far bigger than a single digit, _prefers_ to take as much as she can, generally speaking. But after what feels like an hour of teasing, the sensation of Kara’s middle finger entering her body is so magnified that she can feel her body reacting like it’s her whole hand.

“I love how you feel,” Kara says distractedly, her eyes fixed on Lena’s cunt, dilated pupils watching Lena take her. “I always have. God, I could be inside you forever.”

Lena makes a borderline inhuman noise, trying and failing to spread her legs for more, god, _more_. But she can’t, the bedframe creaking its protest to her constant pulling. She’s a creature of need, something writhing inside her that needs to be satisfied. It feels animalistic, this pure, unfiltered _need_ to come, every tug of the restraints as she inadvertently strains against them adding another inch to the inexorable climb.

“Please –“ She chokes, her toes curling so hard that she can feel her foot cramping. “_Kara_ –“

Before she can beg any further Kara curls her finger, hooking against that full, deep spot inside her, and _presses_. Lena’s plea is cut off with a strangled shout, her arms moving instinctually to claw at Kara’s back and coming to a halt when the ropes pull taut. Her legs come up short too, her usual move of wrapping them around Kara’s waist hindered, and the snap of discomfort at her wrists and ankles is yet another eagle-eyed shot straight to her clit.

“Fuck!” She gasps, straining against the bonds, and Kara stays with her through every movement. “God, okay, fuck –“

“I’ll get you there, baby,” Kara murmurs, dragging her lips between Lena’s hipbones. “I promise.”

Kara’s voice is confident, but years of marriage has trained Lena to detect even the smallest changes. There’s a quiver in it, a raggedness to her breath that tells Lena exactly how much Kara is enjoying this, too. She’s still half dressed, but the clothes she’s wearing are haphazard, crooked and half-undone. Her pupils are blown, her lips wide and shiny, and Lena can feel the desire radiating from her like a blast of heat.

She’s _wanted_. Kara is holding herself back as well as Lena, and she can feel a calm suffusing her with the knowledge. The tempest within her scales back to a smaller storm, and something clicks into place.

Kara is going to take care of her.

“That’s it,” Kara breathes, nuzzling below Lena’s bellybutton as she feels her relax. “I’ve got you.”

A pulse of heat and wetness zips to her cunt in response, and Kara is smiling when she slips a second finger in.

And for a while, Lena loses track of time. Kara fucks her slow, _excruciatingly_ slow, but somehow avoids being gentle – there’s firm intent behind every movement, every press of her fingers and ghosting touch over her clit. She pushes Lena forward and then eases her back, a push and pull towards the edge that becomes like a partnered dance, like an art. Kara guiding, _edging_, and Lena succumbing to the rhythm. And all through it Lena submits, melts into each progression, lets go of every instinct she has to push and beg and just lets Kara guide her to a place she’s never been before.

When Kara disappears for a moment, Lena hardly notices. It’s done in the pattern she’s been she’s lost in for who knows how long, and she’s too busy holding herself together at the seams. She’s dizzyingly high, wound so tight that she can practically taste her orgasm, and Kara is holding her back by a thread.

“I want you to come,” Kara finally rasps, her lips pressed to the meat of Lena’s inner thigh. She sucks at the skin, nipping her way up to lick at the slickness left there by the incessant teasing of her fingers. She makes a pleased noise, slipping a third finger into her already impossibly-tight cunt, and Lena practically shouts her approval. “You can come, baby.”

_God_, does Lena want to do just that. She’s so close, so fucking close, but something is keeping her back – like she’s inches from the edge of the cliff, but she’s caught on something that’s keeping her suspended. She thrashes for the first time since Kara calmed her down, hot tears pricking at her eyes as that bliss eludes her.

“I – fuck, Kara, _please_, I can’t, I _can’t_,“ She sobs, all higher words leaving her. Her own voice is unrecognizable to her, her feet twisting and pulling at their knots so hard that she can almost feel them starting to come loose. She’s never been so wild in her life, so close and yet so paralyzed, it’s _excruciating_ -

A low buzzing assaults her ears, Kara whispers _let me help_, and that’s the last thing Lena is aware of before a vibrator is pressed to her clit and her vision goes white.

Lena has had good orgasms before. Incredible, toe-curling, mild-wiping orgasms; but not like this. It’s the closest thing she’s ever had to an out-of-body experience, and when she comes down from it, her whole body is trembling.

Kara, ever the responsible partner, has already untied Lena’s ankles by the time she’s aware enough to move them, and as she works on her wrists Lena brings her knees up and together, feeling the stretch and soreness all hit her at once. She groans, and Kara hurriedly discards the ropes and pulls her close, massaging the life back into her arms and murmuring barely-audible praise in a soothing voice. She pulls on Lena’s shoulder until she’s resting on Kara’s chest, and her heartbeat pounds reassuringly in Lena’s ear.

Lena is the first to break the quiet spell.

“Thank god for kindergarten.”

Kara snorts, and then laughs right from her belly, loud and genuine.

“Yeah,” She says, ending her laughing fit with a big, happy sigh. “_Yeah_.”

“I mean…holy _shit_, Kara,” Lena continues, regaining enough composure to prop herself up on an elbow.

Kara blushes complacently, and the starkness of the difference between this Kara and the woman who just confidently edged her for 26 minutes is never more apparently than now. Lena raises a hand to stroke her handsome face and Kara catches it, gently kissing the red marks at her wrists as if in apology for the treatment.

“Can I ask you something?” Lena asks, her eyes still following Kara’s mouth on her skin.

“Always,” Kara says, muffled, still trailing the kisses up Lena’s arm.

“How much research have you done, exactly?”

Kara freezes, pulling away from Lena’s wrists to laugh nervously. “Um. What do you mean?”

“We’ve never done this before, but you’re so good at it. It’s like…” Lena takes a breath, grounding herself in the moment. In Kara’s breathing, her heart, the familiar smell of her sweat and her strong hands. In the familiarity, the comfort.

“It’s like you know all the things I’ve never told you. Never told _anyone_.”

Kara shifts underneath her, and Lena detects a hint of guilt in the way she clears her throat.

“Well, uh. I did a lot of googling.”

Lena chuckles, the image of Kara after that first day frantically googling safe BDSM practices and aftercare, taking notes in that same leather notebook she’s used and replaced since she started as a cub reporter. “Of course you did.”

“And,” Kara says, her voice a little less sure. “I might have. Uh.”

“What?” Lena asks, frowning at Kara’s nervous face. When Kara bites her lip, she laughs. “And_ what_, Kara?”

“Well, do you remember that night I needed your tablet to find Conner’s soccer schedule?”

Lena recalls, vaguely, waking up to the bright light of her tablet in Kara’s hands. But she doesn’t see how it could possibly relate to this.

“Yes?” She says, and Kara raises a hand as if to fiddle with her glasses, only to realize they’re on the table next to the bed. She clears her throat, and her voice is a little higher than usual.

“Well, when I opened it, there was. Um. Something on the screen.”

Lena frowns. “Something on the –“ Oh.

Oh, no.

“Oh, god,” She groans, her head falling forward onto Kara’s chest. “Oh, _god_ –“

“I didn’t mean to look!” Kara says immediately, with the air of a child being caught out for breaking something expensive. “It was on the screen when I opened the tablet, and we’ve always used each other’s stuff, and I swear I only looked for a little bit, just enough to get an idea –“

“Oh my _god_,” Lena reiterates, burying her face in her free hand. “_That’s_ how you got all these ideas?”

“I figured, if you liked all those things enough to look at them online…” Kara says, and she sounds so guilty for the perceived breach of Lena’s privacy that she has to reassure her.

Despite her embarrassment at being found out, she can’t exactly say she isn’t grateful for whatever inspiration Kara draws from.

“I suppose you figured right,” She mutters, rubbing her face and staring at a point somewhere near Kara’s collarbone.

Kara relaxes noticeably. “Oh! Okay. Great!”

Lena nods, still not quite able to meet Kara’s eyes. “So. Did you…like what you saw?”

Kara nods vehemently, almost shaking Lena with her enthusiasm, and Lena manages to chuckle.

“Would you maybe like to…look at it together?”

Kara scrambles out of bed in search of the tablet so fast that she gets tangled in the sheets on the way down, and Lena reclines on the pillows, surprised and delighted at this turn of events. Kara, after disentangling herself, stands to her full height, looking down at her now come-stained pants with a frown.

“Do you, uh. Do you want me to get naked?”

She does, and what follows is a months-long period of enthusiastic, uniquely pleasurable experimentation. It’s a slow escalation of trying new things, picking a new frontier together every time they have alone time, and figuring out how each brings them closer together in intimacy during a time in their lives where so many people drift apart.

They try blindfolds and ice cubes; they delve deeper into Lena’s online treasure trove and try nipple clamps. It turns out that Lena isn’t partial to the pain of them, but Kara eyes them with such fascination that Lena reverses the dynamic and learns exactly how high Kara’s pain tolerance is.

And, haunted by the idea of it from their earlier conversation, Lena finally, blushingly, _humiliatingly_ asks to be gagged. The burn of having to ask only heightens the experience, and Kara does it in the most inspired way – she wriggles out of her own tie, loosens the knot, and wraps it securely around Lena’s mouth.

Lena comes harder than she’s ever come in her life, and a new dimension is added to their relationship after a little cuddling and a lot of discussion. A safeword system is decided on: red/yellow/green as a vocal signal, one/two/three fingers if gagged.

And, _god_, it works.

Slowly, immeasurably, things shift. It isn’t just the fact that they’re having sex more often – it helps with both of their moods, definitely, but it’s more than that.

They’re more intimate outside of bed too. They share more little moments of love and affection, even when they’re too busy for anything else. Kara is downright buoyant, glowing a little brighter every time Lena flirts, every time she pulls her into the bedroom by her thick leather belt, and Lena feels the difference, too. It’s like, once Kara started unlocking her fantasies one by one, she’s been able to relax more than ever before. She feels freer with her affection, less stressed, confident in her knowledge that Kara knows her more deeply than ever and still loves every inch. No matter what.

As the weeks march on and Conner gets used to school, they both start going back to the office more and more, leaving him with Eliza on his days off as they ease out of their routine and back into full-time work. And as much as she was apprehensive of the whole situation, it feels _good_. She starts to share the reins with Sam instead of taking the backseat, and it’s like stretching a limb long disused.

It’s uncomfortable, at first – she has to play catch-up, taking Sam’s lead until she has the hang of things – but it’s undeniably good to take charge again. To be present in the boardroom, to get her hands dirty in the lab and know the ins and outs of her own company. It does, however, mean that she and Kara are apart more than ever. She doesn’t pull nearly as many late nights at the office as she used to, but she still has long hours, and getting used to _not_ having long hours tangled in the sheets with Kara so soon after getting that intimacy back is more difficult than expected.

And most of all it means, among other things, that Lena spends most of her idle moments remembering those hours and trying not to let on to her coworkers that she’s _distractingly_ wet.

And Kara is no help. In fact, she encourages it.

Like today, when Lena’s phone vibrates silently in the middle of a stockholder meeting.

Slipping it surreptitiously off the table, she hides it in her lap and taps the screen. She’s greeted with something that makes her breath hitch.

**[Kara]: Is it weird that I can’t stop thinking about last week?**

Lena flushes, glancing around her and trying to hide her grin. Last week had been the last time she and Kara had time for each other – they both took the morning off, letting work go for a few hours so that Kara could try laying Lena out spread-eagled and creating art on her back in hot wax.

Lena shivers at the memory. The sting of the wax, the feeling of it moving as it cooled, Kara’s eyes taking in every inch of her skin and treating it like a canvas. How all Kara had to do was lean forward and press her thigh into Lena’s centre before she was coming, twitching helplessly against the blankets.

Swallowing past her suddenly dry throat, Lena types out a reply.

** _It’s no stranger than the fact that I’m now thinking about it in a meeting._ **

Three dots appear immediately, and Lena’s phone almost slips out of her hands when the answer arrives.

**[Kara]: I think I like the idea of you all worked up at the office**

**[Kara]: I bet you got wet just now. Am I right?**

Lena can’t hide the blush that creeps onto her cheeks at being called out so effortlessly. She _is_ wet, and it’s getting more and more difficult to pay attention to anything being said in this meeting.

Thankfully Kara checks in almost immediately, being the wonderful, responsible top she is.

**[Kara]: Is this okay? Colour check?**

Lena hesitates. She _shouldn’t_ do this – it’s the middle of workday and it’s important that she be physically and mentally present at all times, especially when she’s still getting back in the saddle.

But the word _saddle_ just makes her think about the new strap-on they get recently, the one with the base that presses into Kara’s clit while she fucks her, and her decision has already been made for her, really.

Securely wrestling her inhibitions into a sealed box, she responds.

** _Green._ **

The answer is almost immediate.

**[Kara]: So you’d be okay with me telling you exactly what I’m thinking about right now?**

As Sam launches into a presentation about stock projections, Lena’s heart kicks up a harder rhythm. Her reaction is what it always is, with Kara.

** _Yes. Please._ **

Her text seems to hang there between them for a moment, the blue bubble stark against the white screen before Kara fires back.

**[Kara]: How sturdy is your desk?**

After that, it’s relentless. Kara takes the green light and runs with it, until Lena finally has to set her phone down against the barrage of highly charged texts Kara is sending. If she’s going to get through this meeting, she has to have the promise of looking at them as her reward. She has to temper the fire a little.

When she finally leaves the boardroom, slightly shaky on her suddenly weak knees, her first move is to have Jess clear the next half hour of her day. Her second move is to lock her office door.

And then, she opens her phone, and gives the fire some oxygen.

**[Kara]: I think I’d like to bend you over it, facing the window**

**[Kara]: Would I have to gag you, or would you be able to stay quiet?**

**[Kara]: I don’t think you could be quiet. I’d have to keep your employees from hearing you come all over my hand somehow.**

**[Kara]: I’m not wearing a tie today. What would I gag you with?**

By the time she’s reached the final message, her heart is pounding at several times the normal rate. She types and deletes a few responses, none of them seeming to reflect exactly how much Kara’s words are getting to her, and before she’s found something suitable to say, another message from Kara appears.

**[Kara]: Lena? Is it too much?**

**_No_****, **Lena responds shakily, sitting down in her office chair and exhaling**. _I just had to finish my meeting. Go on._**

**[Kara]: You sure?**

Lena glances at the door. It’s solidly locked, her assistant promising her solitude for another 27 minutes. Maybe if she gives in, just a little, she’ll be able to clear her head.

She knows even as she thinks it that it’s unlikely, but that doesn’t stop her from responding.

** _Positive. I have half an hour. Keep talking._ **

Kara starts typing right away. Lena has no idea how she’s going to survive whatever Kara comes up with; but rather than continuing her line of thought, Kara asks a question.

**[Kara]: Are you alone?**

Lena frowns down at her phone. Not exactly the direction she was expecting**. **

** _Yes. Why?_ **

When Kara’s face comes up on her screen in a call, she has to blink silently at the flashing green button. Assuming it’s some kind of check-in about the whole sexting situation she swipes to accept the call.

“Are you all right, darling?”

Kara’s voice is immediate and firm, and exactly the opposite of what Lena was expecting.

“My boss just left, and I’m alone at the office.”

“Oh?” Lena says, her voice higher than usual, and she clears her throat quietly as her heart starts to thrum. “That’s nice.”

“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” Kara says lowly. Lena’s body responds like a snake to its charmer. Arousal rises in her belly as part of her warms and start to throb, held in the sway of Kara’s voice.

“I noticed,” Lena says, attempting vagueness, but Kara sees through her as usual.

“Don’t act coy, Luthor. I know how much you wish you weren’t at work right now.” Kara’s breath hitches, and Lena can hear the rustle of clothing.

_No. She can’t be._

“Kara, what are you doing?” Lena asks, and Kara’s confident chuckle practically answers the question for her.

“I locked myself in my office.”

“And?” Lena says breathily.

“And I’m –“ Kara hesitates, making a tiny noise Lena recognizes immediately as the one she makes at Lena’s first contact on her clit.

She’s fucking herself.

“Oh my god, Kara –“ Lena gasps, all the air seeming to leave the room. Her own legs ache to spread, her hand itching to hike her dress up and slip between, and she’s barely resisting.

“Yeah,” Kara whimpers, too far gone now to play the top. “_Fuck_. I know it’s a bad idea, but –“

“No, keep talking,” Lena says quickly, her legs moving of their own volition. Her dress inches up with the movement, and the cool air on her thighs makes the arousal even worse. “Tell me what you’re doing.”

“Thinking about you,” Kara says. The tone makes Lena’s clit throb. “Are you -?”

Kara asks, and Lena almost answers in the negative. But there’s a jolt up her spine, and she catches a moan in her throat as she looks down.

Lena hadn’t even realized her hand was moving. But it is, and against her own volition her fingers are sliding through wet heat, finding her clit with laser precision. Her panties are shoved aside, and her fate is sealed.

“_Yes_,” She breathes, her head hitting the back of her chair, and Kara groans desperately.

“God. Are we having phone sex?”

“That depends,” Lena answers, pressing hard on her clit until her toes curl. “Are you going to make me come?”

Kara makes a strangled noise, and it goes right to Lena’s cunt. After hours of excruciating tension, her fingers feel so good that she’s rocketing towards an unstoppable orgasm before she can think too hard about it, and Kara seems to be in the same boat.

“God, you’re not even alone at the office like I am. I bet your assistant is just on the other side of the door,” Kara says, and Lena might be imagining it but she almost thinks she can hear the wet sounds of her fucking herself through the phone line.

“Yeah,” She whines, both to confirm Kara’s suspicion and to plead with her not to stop.

“So you’re going to have to come quietly. You don’t want to get caught, do you?” Kara continues, her own desire almost overtaking her commanding tone. Her voice quivers, interrupted by breathy moans.

“_Kara_ –“ Lena is close now, the edge within her grasp, and Kara’s words push her along at startling velocity.

“God, I wish I could see you,” Kara says, her voice almost a grunt as she almost certainly batters her clit with her fingers. “I bet you look so good. Your dress is pulled up, isn’t it?”

“_Yes_,” Lena manages, through the tightness of her chest. She can hear how high and needy her voice is, her usual lower tones turning high and feminine with desperation. The sound of it only eggs her on further, as it does Kara.

Lena realizes that, in this particular conversation, she is not pulling her weight. But in her defense she’s so turned on, so absolutely lost in it, that it’s all she can think to say. In her head Kara is eating her out, hands digging into her thighs, and in her ear Kara is getting herself off in her own office, and even in this uncomfortable position with one leg propped on her desk drawer and her movement impeded by her own skirt she’s seconds from coming all over her chair.

“If I was there, I’d have my head between your legs so fast,” Kara rambles in the same way she does when they’re in bed at home, and it’s clearly as much for herself as for Lena. “And then, once you came in my mouth, I’d bend you over that desk and give you whatever you asked for. Would you want two fingers? Three?”

Lena means to just say an affirmative. Really, she does. But what comes out is the truth, unshielded by her own closeness to orgasm.

“More.”

“More?” Kara asks, sounding delighted. “You’d want 4 of my fingers?”

Lena imagines Kara pressing four fingers inside her. And then, she imagines her tucking in her thumb. And then, as her orgasm rises in her belly and starts to spread, she imagines Kara pressing, _pressing_, until her knuckles slip in and Lena is taking her entire hand up to the wrist.

With that image her pleasure crests, and she’s lost to the world as she bucks helplessly against her own hand. She hears Kara cry out over the phone past the roaring in her ears, and they come down together, breathing hard.

“_Thank you,”_ Lena mutters when it eases off, wiping her hand with a tissue from the box on her desk and pulling out her now-ruined ponytail to fix. “I feel so much better.”

Kara responds with a question that knocks the breath out of her, so soon after regaining it.

“What were you thinking about, just then?”

“I – nothing,” Lena stammers uncharacteristically. She curses her own shakiness, willing her boardroom confidence to possess her. “Just you.”

“Lena.”

Lena sighs, leaning back again and squeezing her eyes shut. Even if Kara isn’t here, it somehow seems easier to voice when her eyes are closed.

“Fine. You said 4 fingers, and I was thinking…more.”

“More?” Kara says, and then she hears a sharp intake of breath. “Oh. Like…”

“Like fisting, Kara,” Lena says, rubbing her face with her free hand. It smells like her own arousal, and it’s not helping her situation at all.

“Jesus,” Kara mutters, and Lena can hear her flop back in her chair. “Yeah. God, _yeah_.”

“You sound like maybe you need another round,” Lena jokes, half-hopeful. She certainly needs another herself, not that her schedule will really allow it.

Although, she does have same time off banked.

Kara chuckles. “I definitely do. But I also have a deadline to meet, if I want to be done in time to get Conner from school.”

“We can always ask Eliza to do it,” Lena says, decision made and already tapping out an email to her assistant about clearing another hour of her schedule. “I mean, we need your head to be completely clear to finish that article, don’t we?”

Kara ends up getting an extension, and Lena ends up leaving early for the day. Investor meetings can wait.

* * *

Domestic life is a little different, in this new norm they’ve created.

Most things stay the same. They work, help Conner with his little bits of kindergarten homework, do chores and run errands. Kara cooks, Lena does the dishes, Conner watches them work and tries to help in his clumsy, childlike way. He blossoms in a new way, devouring the learning material and making friends, but Lena still worries.

And, some things do change. Such as how Kara deals with Lena’s anxieties.

“How do we know, though?” Lena can’t help herself from asking, even after the third time Kara has assured her Conner is doing just fine at school. “We haven’t even had a parent-teacher meeting yet. I think we should schedule one, just to make sure he’s getting everything he needs.”

Through the kitchen window she can hear him on the jungle gym Kara built for him, where he absconded the minute he scarfed down his vegetables. He has a towel wrapped around his neck like a cape, and he arcs higher and higher on his swing until finally he lets go, flying through the air and landing on the grass in a superhero pose with a triumphant yell.

“He’s fine, Lena. He’s enriched and supported.”

Lena takes another bite of chicken, frowning as she watches him scamper up the little rock climbing wall and up onto the platform above, babbling to himself the whole way, lost in his own imaginary world. “I just…this is his first time making friends, and I want to make sure –“

“Lena,” Kara finally sighs, setting down her fork. “From now on, every time you ask how he’s fitting in at school adds 5 minutes to your orgasm denial session.”

Suddenly, what’s going on outside the window doesn’t matter anymore. Kara means it as a joke, but Lena’s breath hitches so loudly that she worries it’ll carry to the backyard. And Kara hears it. Her eyes widen a little bit, and then she smiles knowingly, squeezing Lena’s hand just slightly harder than normal.

“And what if I don’t bring it up again?” Lena says lowly, swallowing hard. “What’s my _reward_?”

Kara gathers their plates thoughtfully and heads towards the sink. Once they’re rinsed and Lena is sufficiently anticipatory, she turns around with a grin. 

“If you don’t bring it up again for the rest of the week, we’ll do tap out or black out.”

Lena bites at her lips, blinking slowly and crossing her legs in a way she hopes is nonchalant. “And what is that, exactly?”

The way Kara answers is completely casual, but it hits Lena like an 18-wheeler.

“It’s when I fuck you until you either beg me to stop, or you pass out.”

They do the dishes, and Kara very pointedly doesn’t make a move that night.

Lena doesn’t mention Conner or school for the rest of the week, and on Saturday, they send him on his first playdate with a little girl who lives a few blocks over. Her parents are perfectly nice, and the worry she’d usually feel leaving him with strangers is almost forgotten, overridden by the anticipation of what comes when they get home.

Conner runs from their grasp as soon as the door is open, waving goodbye and disappearing through the house with his friend Jenny chatting excitedly about showing him the treehouse. When Jenny’s mother asks what time they’ll be back to pick him up, Kara replies.

“Oh, it’ll likely just be me. Lena had a lot on her plate this week, and she’ll probably be asleep pretty soon.”

Lena practically drags Kara back to the car.

Two hours later, she’s almost at her wit’s end. Kara is true to her word, drawing the experience out, fucking her hard and then easing off, making her come and then immediately driving her into another before her first is finished. Kara ekes out a few of her own as well, the pressure of the harness on her clit enough to throw her over the edge with Lena, and after she loses count of the amount of orgasms Kara has wrung out of her exhausted body she finally can’t take the pace anymore. 

“Baby – fuck - _yellow_,” She gasps, shaking and sweaty, and Kara stops immediately.

“Are you okay? Is it too much?”

Kara is shaking too, every muscle taut and quivering, and as Lena watches a drop of sweat slides down the side of Kara’s face and lands on her chest. She’s been putting her all into this, following through on her promise even through her own exertion, and it makes Lena love her all the more.

“No, I – I mean, yes, but…don’t stop,” Lena manages, still trying to assemble the puddle of goo that is her brain after it’s been scrambled by 4 straight rounds with the strap-on.

“Okay?” Kara says, looking perplexed and worried. Lena gathers her scattered wits, grasping a firm handful of Kara’s ass and keeping her in place.

“I don’t want you to stop, I just. Need you to go slow.”

She’s not sure how to describe what she needs, exactly. The driving pace they’ve been keeping is overwhelming, but she doesn’t want the jarring emptiness that follows Kara pulling out. She wants to stay like this, connected and present. Kara doesn’t seem to quite understand but she nods, her hips still.

“But you still want more?”

“Yes,” Lena hisses, as Kara pushes in to the hilt again, slowly, _slowly_. “Always want more of you.”

She’s not even sure she can come again, honestly. Her clit feels raw, her cunt bruised, but it still feels _so good_ having Kara inside her. The stretch of the first few minutes is gone, replaced by a pleasant feeling of fullness, a closeness that she doesn’t want to give up just yet. Their kisses are deep and slow, and Kara’s hands map out the skin of her thighs and hips, pulling Lena’s legs around her own waist again, squeezing and smoothing every inch like she can’t get enough.

Lena could stay here forever, being fucked slow and loving, reveling in their sweaty skin gliding together. Even if there’s no orgasm on the horizon, it’s deeply, genuinely satisfying. Kara’s lips and teeth trail over her chest, her collar, her neck, and when Lena reaches a hand up to trace at her jaw Kara kisses and nips her way over her arm, from her tattoo down.

A particularly hard nip makes Lena’s hips twitch again, the fire she thought was extinguished making a comeback.

Kara moves on, though, determined to follow Lena’s request for gentleness. Her kisses continue, her hips moving with deliberate slowness, making the remnants of pleasure ease through Lena like molasses.

So Lena latches her teeth onto her own wrist, and the spark flares brighter.

The pain feels _good_. It almost doesn’t feel like pain – just a smoky hint of it, a new type of stimulus added to her already overstimulated body, and mindlessly she moves her teeth down to the inside of her bicep. She bites harder, _deeper_, and before she can realize what’s happening the spark of pain and the deep plunge of Kara inside her sends her spiralling into an unexpected orgasm.

When she’s recovered Kara looks down at her, between her surprised expression and the purple mark on her arm, and grins.

“So…I _have_ done some research on pain play. Just so you know.”

_Jesus Christ. _

She’s going to need to invest in some _very_ expensive concealer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully when you guys were requesting 'more', you meant 'more anal and strap blowjobs' because that's what you're getting

Lena’s heels click loudly as she paces the floor, Kara’s apologetic voice in her ear. The school hallway is milling with people waiting for their meetings, and Lena is supposed to be here with her _wife_. She’s distinctly alone, and it makes her stomach flip.

It’s parent-teacher day, and she’s a single parent.

“I am _so_ sorry, babe. I’ll be there as soon as I can, I promise.”

Lena exhales, switching the phone to the other ear. “Do I really have to meet Conner’s teacher by myself? I could just…leave. I’m sure he won’t notice.”

“And miss interrogating him about how Conner is doing?” Kara challenges.

Lena sighs, and grumbles her defeat.

“I hate it when you’re right.”

“I swear, I’m doing everything I can, short of leaving my car on the freeway and walking to you,” Kara says. Her voice is strained with guilt - some kind of accident on the highway has backed up traffic, apparently, and Kara’s half hour of extra time to get to Conner’s school has turned into her being late.

“I know,” Lena sighs, perching in one of the little plastic seats that line the hall. “I’m just nervous. You know I’m not great at first impressions in social situations. I always end up making people dislike me.”

“You’re great at first impressions, Lena. I fell in love with you the minute we met!” Kara protests.

“Yes, but you like bossy women.”

“Hey!”

The conversation is interrupted when Conner’s teacher – a short, energetic man named Mr. Schott, who Conner absolutely gushes about – appears in the doorway.

“Luthor-Danvers?” He says, casting his eyes around, and Lena stands abruptly.

“It’s our turn. I have to go.” She knows she sounds terse, but she can’t help it. She can speak in front of a boardroom just fine, but a one-on-one conversation with the man who teaches her son is somehow nerve wracking.

“Traffic is moving a little, I swear I’ll try to get there as soon as I can! I love you!”

“I love you too,” Lena says quietly, hanging up and striding towards Mr. Schott. Slipping it into her pocket, she reaches out to accept his outstretched hand, shaking it firmly.

“I’m Winn Schott. It’s great to meet you,” He says, and his smile is genuine. “Come on in.”

“Likewise,” Lena says, trying not to wring her hands too obviously as he leads her to one of the four chairs opposite his desk. He gestures at them with an open hand, perfectly friendly, but Lena just can’t shake the instinct to doubt his intentions.

“Take a seat! Let’s talk about Conner, hm?”

“Four chairs?” Lena says, taking her seat and arranging herself in a practiced position – back straight, legs elegantly crossed, hands folded. A stance that lets people know she means business.

She knows that Fortune 500 business strategies aren’t necessary for talking to her son’s kindergarten teacher, but she’s _nervous_, and it feels easier to fall into a familiar pattern. Forced social niceties make her anxious at the best of times.

“Families look all sorts of different ways,” Mr. Schott replies with a shrug. “Not all kids have just 2 parents, you know? I try not to make assumptions right out of the gate.”

“Right, of course. That makes sense.” Her back is still ramrod straight, but Mr. Schott’s openness and accommodation puts her the slightest bit at ease.

“So, Mrs. Luthor-Danvers –“

“Just Luthor,” Lena blurts, immediately regretting it. Usually she’d just accept the hyphen, since Conner has it, but something about this teacher makes her want to explain.

“Sorry?” He asks, his thick brows furrowing, and Lena curses her own instinct to correct.

“Oh, I – Conner is hyphenated, but Kara and I just kept our own last names. I own a company, she had a successful journalism career under Danvers, it was just easier, so we – we’re still married, we just aren’t, um. Hyphenated.”

Inwardly, Lena is kicking herself. She hasn’t said ‘_um’_ since her first date with Kara, when she saw the blonde with her hair down for the first time and immediately put her elbow in a dish of butter. She’s rambling like a nervous teenager, and even though Mr. Schott is taking it in stride, she wishes more than anything that Kara was here right now to do all the small talk.

There’s hardly even time for an awkward silence before Lena is talking again, just filling the space.

“I’m sorry, my wife is supposed to be here.”

Winn blinks, leaning back in his chair and putting his pen down. “Oh! We can wait, if you’re more comfortable?”

Lena shakes her head. The last thing she needs is to be an inconvenience.

“No, I’m – it’s fine. I’m just not used to doing these things without her. She’s…the personable one.”

He laughs, folding his hands on the table in a pose that seems almost comically relaxed in comparison to her own stiffness. “Well, you seem perfectly personable to me.”

Lena lets out a breath. “That’s not the review I usually get at work.”

Winn nods, the look of understanding on his face reminding her so starkly of Kara that she finds herself relaxing on instinct.

“I assume you’re in a position of authority?” He asks, and Lena chuckles lightly.

“Something like that.”

He nods again and looks down at the papers on his desk. She can see Conner’s name in neat printing at the top, and she has to consciously avert her eyes to keep from reading Mr. Schott’s notes upside down.

“Well, hopefully it’ll help for you to know that Conner is doing great,” He says, and Lena finally relaxes fully into her chair.

“His social skills are great, and he’s miles ahead of everyone else with the curriculum. It seems that he came to school already knowing how to write the alphabet?” Winn says, and Lena gives a genuine laugh.

“He begged me to teach him last year,” She admits. “He wanted to come to school so badly.”

“And it shows!” Winn says, clearly almost as fond of Conner as Lena is. “He’s loving it, from what I can see. He’s a bright, happy little boy. And he talks about his mommies all the time.”

All in all it’s the best case scenario Lena could have hoped for, and she takes a deep breath, smiling. “That’s…that’s great. Thank you. I ask him how school is going, but you know 5 year-olds. All he wants to talk about is dinosaurs. And then Kara gets talking about dinosaurs, and that’s our whole night.”

Winn laughs just as Kara herself comes skidding into the room completely breathless, her face red and her ponytail in disarray. She frowns as she looks around, but she immediately brightens when she sees Lena.

“Oh good, here you are! I went into two wrong classrooms on the way here. Did I miss anything? Are you already – hi, I’m Kara, it’s great to meet you – are you already done?”

She’s still shaking Winn’s startled hand when she sits down, slinging an arm over Lena’s chair and blowing a stray hair out of her sweaty face, but he takes it in stride.

“Mrs. Danvers, glad to see you!” He says, letting go of her hand and settling back down into his seat. “We still have plenty to talk about.”

“Did you run here?” Lena asks incredulously, and Kara nods like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Just from the parking lot on Queen.” She wipes her brow on her sleeve, and shrugs. “Traffic was backed up this street because of the detour, so I parked there and ran.”

“That’s over a mile!”

“You needed me here.”

Lena manages to stifle her reaction, but inwardly her heart does a hard kick. She’s always pretty aware of how incredible a person Kara is - Kara has believed in her from the second they met, with no prompting, uncaring of her family’s history – but every so often, she does something that makes Lena fall in love with her all over again. Something like running over a mile just because Lena was nervous about a parent-teacher meeting.

Years ago, she might have succumbed to the rhetoric she was taught all her life – that she doesn’t deserve a love like this. That Kara is too good for her. But years of reinforcement and love have given her other mental pathways to take, and tonight she just feels grateful. Grateful, and happy, and in love.

Winn relays the same information to Kara, and the meeting wraps up fairly quickly with handshakes and genuine smiles. As they walk down the hallway together, Kara excitedly going over Conner’s good grades and engagement, Lena take a moment to appreciate just how lucky she is. She loves her wife _so much_, and Kara works every day to show Lena the feeling is still mutual.

The next day is a Saturday, and Lena ensures she has the day off so they can take Conner for ice cream to reward his hard work at school. When he’s suitably loaded up on sugar they take him to the park, setting him loose to work off all the energy and choosing a comfortable shady spot on the grass to watch him from. Kara settles back against a tree as he runs to the swings, and Lena snuggles into the gap of her legs, leaning back into her wife’s warm body.

“I’m really sorry I wasn’t there yesterday,” Kara says quietly, kissing the side of Lena’s head while Conner joins in a running game of Sandman with the other kids. “I should have been.”

“You _were_ there,” Lena insists, pulling Kara’s arms around her middle and squeezing them tight.

“I was late!”

“It’s not like it was your fault,” Lena says rationally. “And besides, you ran over a mile to get to me, Kara. How could I be upset?”

“I should still make it up to you somehow,” Kara says, even as Lena is shaking her head.

“There’s nothing to make up for.“

Kara huffs. “Well, how about something that’s good for both of us?”

That gives Lena pause. It sounds like Kara just wants to try something new, and is using a flimsy excuse to introduce it to their vocabulary.

_That_, she can accept.

“What are you suggesting?” She says carefully, and she can feel Kara swallow hard near her ear. It takes her a few false starts, but Kara gets there in the end, whispering it into her ear as if one of the other wholesome families around them might hear.

“How do you feel about trying anal?”

That puts an abrupt end to any protests Lena might have had.

She knows that Kara knows _exactly_ how she feels about anal. They’ve considered it together, delved deep into Lena’s online ‘research’ in which it features heavily, and they just haven’t taken the leap yet.

She’s more than ready to leap, if Kara is.

Their day at the park couldn’t be over quickly enough. After a hasty shower and a call to Eliza, Conner is off for a sleepover at Grandma’s house and Lena is spread out on her stomach on the bed, naked and trembling as Kara trails hot kisses down her spine.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” Kara murmurs, her lips brushing Lena’s sensitive skin as she talks. Lena clenches her fists in the sheets.

“Yeah?” She says breathily. Kara nods, nipping and then soothing with a warm tongue.

“Yeah. I can tell you’re thinking about it, every time I go down on you.”

A throb rockets through Lena’s whole body, making her clench around nothing. It’s true – Kara will often let her tongue drift down when she’s teasing Lena, down past her cunt and close to an as of yet untouched area, but she’s never followed through.

Until now. Now Kara is biting a red mark into her lower back, right over her tattoo, and moving lower at a leisurely pace.

“And it’s taken you this long to – _fuck_!” Lena gasps, her thought cut off completely by Kara taking hold of her hips and hauling them up until her ass is in the air. She keeps her face buried in the mattress, not willing to reveal how hard she’s blushing at the implication of the position. “Okay.”

She can feel Kara’s grin against her tailbone.

“I was saving it for a special occasion.”

“And this is it?” Lena retorts breathily, not quite able to let go of the armour of her attitude just yet. Kara chuckles lowly.

“Are you complaining?”

Lena means to reply. She has a witty barb prepared and ready to go. But then Kara is pressing her shoulders down and into the sheets so that her hips rise higher into the air, and there’s the sound of tearing foil, and a thin layer of latex is being pressed against her ass.

Under those circumstances, Lena thinks, it’s no wonder her thought is immediately eclipsed by a pathetic moan.

“_Kara_,” She whines, as her wife bites a mark into her skin significantly further right than where she wishes her mouth was. “God.”

Kara hums, using her forearm to effortlessly knock Lena’s legs further apart. It spreads her cunt open, baring it to nothing while Kara’s attention is elsewhere, and the easy strength of it makes her legs shake almost as much as the tongue slowly making its way leftwards.

Kara smooths a hand up her thigh and back down, clearly feeling the tremble as she hovers just out of reach.

“You good?” Kara murmurs, and Lena hardly lets her get the question out before she’s arching, pushing her hips back - reaching blindly backwards to grab Kara’s hair and pull her forwards, hissing yes, yes, _yes_ –

Kara’s tongue is hot and insistent even through a barrier, and Lena can’t stop the guttural sound that the contact pushes out of her. She’s on fire, something coming unhinged inside her at the heady combination of _wrong_ and _right_ brought on by Kara circling and then firmly pressing into a place she had only ever shamefully explored in private. It’s always felt good but undeniably improper, and the fact that Kara is doing it _to_ her with her _mouth_ only makes the delicious shame of it better. It’s the idea of it that makes her want to melt almost more than the sensation – although, the sensation of Kara’s tongue ever so slightly pushing inside her is nothing to scoff at.

The fact that she herself is pressing Kara’s face closer in her desperation, and that Kara is moaning and clutching at her hips with her free hand like she can’t get enough either, makes Lena feel filthy enough that she could almost come on the spot.

And god, does she want to. She can taste cotton as she buries her face in the mattress and bites down, can feel the way every new movement of Kara’s tongue sends a pulse of arousal straight down until she’s so wet she’s fairly sure it’s dripped onto the sheets. And still Kara ignores her cunt, her aching clit, her mindless pleas muffled by the pillows. She just rims Lena like she’s been aching to do it for years, not letting up for a moment.

It’s so much, and Kara is lost in her own world, and Lena can’t wait anymore, she _can’t_, she has to come –

She shoves a shaking hand between her own legs, and it’s pinned by her own body weight but she has just enough mobility to rub a few sloppy passes over her clit and _god, yes, fucking _–

The sheer relief of it makes her knees give out, her legs turning liquid and sliding down until she’s flat on her stomach, groaning deep and heavy. Her fingers are still pressed into her pulsing clit and the sheets are wet under her face, whether because she’s crying a little bit or because she’s had her mouth open and screaming into them for the last few minutes she isn’t sure. But she is sure about Kara, whose mouth finally leaves its post and trails up her back.

Lena doesn’t have the capacity to do much besides turn her head sideways to get some fresh air, but thankfully Kara knows her well enough to understand that it doesn’t mean she wants to stop. Kara carefully eases an arm under Lena’s hips and pulls until she’s flipped onto her back, boneless and pliable.

It’s the closeness Lena always craves, Kara’s front pressed to hers post-orgasm like a weighted blanket. Trading slowly-progressing kisses that ramp Lena’s arousal back up notch by notch until Kara can fuck her again. It’s a pattern Kara learned a long time ago, and ever since they started down this path she’s been using her knowledge mercilessly.

Which is why, when Kara suddenly disappears to rummage through a drawer, Lena is left feeling cheated out of her customary intimacy. Thankfully she doesn’t have to do much besides groan and reach towards her before Kara is back, something clenched in her left hand that Lena doesn’t have the mental capacity to guess at right now.

“You needed it that bad, huh?” Kara says, lifting Lena’s knees into the air until she’s spread open and holding them there as she gazes down between Lena’s legs. “You couldn’t wait for me to get you there?”

Lena nods, silent and rapidly desperate for whatever Kara is clearly going to give her, the intoxicating confidence radiating from her wife making her legs spread as far as humanly possible even without Kara’s help. Every inch of her is exposed, and Kara is taking it all in like she’s a connoisseur and Lena is an expensive tasting menu.

“I’m a little disappointed I didn’t get to make you come,” Kara murmurs as she finally seems to decide what she wants to do. She bends down until her mouth moves over Lena’s thigh, until she’s nosing at the wet crease where it meets her cunt, and she reveals what she’d been hiding in her hand.

A small, compact bottle of lube.

“Fuck,” Lena says, and then Kara’s mouth is on her clit.

Kara does not start gentle, and at the first insistent bit of pressure Lena’s hips jerk so hard that Kara has to press them down with her forearm. The forcefulness of it is almost as heady as the sensation, and Lena is left with nothing to do but whine and dig her heel into Kara’s back, her hand clenched in soft hair. She’s almost _too_ sensitive, and there are a few suspended moments where she thinks she might have to call yellow – but then Kara eases up, and Lena hears the decisive snap of a bottle top opening.

“God, oh god, oh _fuck_,” Lena chants, high in her throat as Kara fumbles with the lube in her left hand. It’s taking far too long, and the anticipation is starting to get downright painful when Lena hears a wet sound somewhere near Kara’s torso.

“Shoot,” Kara grunts as the lube spills over her hand and onto the sheets, soaking through and leaving a huge wet spot. “Dropped it, it’s going to stain –“

“God, I don’t fucking _care_,” Lena breathes, too wrapped up in the euphoria of the moment to care about stained sheets. “We’ll buy a new mattress, just please, god, _please_ –“

“Please what?” Kara asks with faux confusion, her grin wide and pleased as her slick hand presses all too softly closer.

Lena grits her teeth, her hand clenching harder in Kara’s hair. “Put your fingers inside me.”

“Like this?” Kara murmurs, two fingers dipping shallowly into her cunt, and as quickly as Lena moves her hips to try to get her deeper Kara’s hand has moved again. She whines pathetically, arching hard into the air as if it will somehow bring Kara’s fingers closer to her ass.

“Kara, I swear to _god_ I will divorce you –“ She gasps, and she can feel Kara’s chuckle against her cunt – and then a broad, wet thumb is pressing at her ass, pressing _into_, _god_, she’s inside – Kara is fucking – _inside_ –

She wants to last longer than she does. She wants this exquisite new feeling to draw out forever, to be in this erotic limbo until one or both of them dies of the pleasure. But Kara’s tongue gets back to work on Lena’s clit around the time she eases her thumb back out and replaces it with two fingers, stretching her almost to a limit she didn’t know she had; and the sensation colliding with the actualization of a concept she’s been thinking about for years and the sweet, burning _thrill_ of doing something so base collide and swirl together until she’s coming helplessly, twitching against Kara’s face and onto her fingers.

Kara’s mouth moves across her inner thigh, wet kisses over sweaty skin.

“Colour?”

“Uh,” Lena pants, Kara’s fingers in her ass suddenly feeling like too much stimulus. “Yellow. I think.”

“Okay,” Kara murmurs, withdrawing her fingers slowly as Lena groans loudly. “Let me go wash my hands.”

Lena closes her eyes, listening to the faucet running and Kara’s gentle humming of a melody she only vaguely recognizes, and when she opens them again Kara is emerging from the ensuite with dripping hands and an apologetic expression.

“There’s definitely going to be a lube stain on the mattress.”

She nods her head in the direction of a wet spot about the size of Lena’s torso near the end of the bed, with the culprit bottle sitting empty next to it. Lena sits up, staring at the spot in disbelief.

“Oh my god, Kara, how much did you _use_?”

“It was an accident! I was using my knee to squeeze it out, and I put too much weight on it,” Kara pouts, and Lena shakes her head affectionately.

“We need a lube dispenser or something,” She mutters as she lets her exhausted body flop back onto the pillows.

“I could do that,” Kara says thoughtfully, officially abandoning her spot on the bed to inspect the headboard with more legitimate interest than Lena thought possible. “I think I could install it so it isn’t too visible.”

Lena huffs out a laugh, still catching her breath while Kara contemplates power tools and placement.

“Kara, I was joking.”

“And I want to fuck your ass more often without having to fumble for a tiny lube bottle with my left hand,” Kara says calmly, her focus never leaving the corner of the wood she seems to have decided is the right location. Lena’s body reacts less-than-calmly. Her libido, so recently sated, rears its head again as Kara peers into the space between the headboard and the wall.

“Well,” Lena replies, clearing her throat of the breathless quality that snuck in at the idea of semi-regular ass-fucking, “I suppose that’s…an agreeable goal.”

“I thought so,” Kara winks, far too confident in both her ability to install a stupid lube dispenser and to make Lena blush with her whole body. She’s getting cocky, and it turns Lena on as much as it makes her want to tease Kara down a peg or two.

Wonderfully, the word _peg_ gives Lena her best idea yet.

“And it would be great for both of us, really,” Lena says casually, reaching out and running a gentle hand down Kara’s lower back. She can feel the shiver that follows, and smiles.

“How so?” Kara asks, still immersed in her task. She’s not paying nearly enough attention, and as Lena makes her next suggestion she slides her hand further down, and digs her nails into the flesh of Kara’s ass.

“Well, maybe I’m interested in giving as well as receiving.”

Kara’s attention diverts from the headboard to Lena so comically fast that Lena has to stifle a laugh. She practically squawks as she turns to Lena, red-faced and surprised.

“What?!” Kara guffaws, her blush at odds with the alarm in her tone. “I’m - you’re – I didn’t – _what_?”

Her face is crimson, but her pupils are impossibly wide. Her hands are clenched white-knuckled on the headboard. Her toes wiggle and flex in a way that Lena knows almost as well as her own tells.

Lena grins, and lets her mind run wild.

* * *

When Conner graduates from kindergarten, it might as well be a PhD for how enthusiastically Lena reacts. Each of the students in his class gets a tiny graduation cap to take home and decorate, and while she edits her latest article at the kitchen island Kara gets to watch her wife help Conner painstakingly craft his name in glitter with a big sparkly dinosaur underneath.

Lena’s smile at Conner’s delight over the perfectly-rendered brontosaurus is infectious, and soon enough Kara abandons her work to sit at Conner’s Paw Patrol craft table with her family, squeezing onto one of the tiny plastic chairs and giving each of them a kiss on the cheek.

“Look, Momma!” Conner says excitedly, shoving the still-drying cap in Kara’s face. “Dinos!”

“I see that!” Kara grins, holding her hand up for a high-five. “Great job, little man!”

He slaps her hand with all his tiny might, and Lena gingerly takes the cap from him before he smears glitter all over the carpet.

The ceremony his school holds is very sweet – each kid gets their name called and a small rolled-up piece of paper, and when Conner bounces across the stage dressed in the tiny suit and tie Lena bought him, the two of them cheer and whistle obnoxiously while Eliza takes about 100 photos. And in true Conner Luthor-Danvers form, when they wave Eliza goodbye and bundle him into the car and ask where he’d like to go for dinner to celebrate, he has only one answer.

The joy on their son’s face when he sees the glowing purple-sweatered rat on the Chuck-E Cheese sign is almost as delightful as the absolute resignation on Lena’s as they enter the building.

“I can’t believe he inherited your love of grimy public arcades,” Lena mutters as they get seated, Conner already standing up in the booth to peer over in the direction of the game floor. “Conner, sit nicely until you’ve eaten your pizza, please.”

Conner plops down onto the cushion with a huff, only placated when his pepperoni arrives and he can shove it into his mouth at a speed rivalled only by Kara herself. Lena watches them with a sort of morbid fascination as she picks at her garden salad, and when Conner has eaten everything but the crusts and is practically vibrating in his seat she finally lets him loose.

“Momma, come play!” Conner all but yells in Kara’s face, dragging her by the hand towards the air hockey tables. Kara looks to Lena, who gestures her away with a wave.

“Go on,” Lena sighs good-naturedly, daintily stealing the pizza crust from Kara’s plate. “Go have fun.”

“Thanks, babe!” Kara grins, dipping in for a quick kiss before she follows Conner into the arcade. “Conner! I dibs the blue goal!”

Conner wins at air hockey, of course. Kara is just so clumsy, accidentally getting the puck into her own goal until Conner’s score reaches 10, and Kara hoists him up in a victory lift so obnoxious that they almost forget to grab the fistful of prize tickets that print out before they move on to skee-ball.

Playing skee-ball together turns quickly into Conner taking all the balls himself, and Kara is watching him with fondness when she feels arms wrapping around her middle, and a familiar chin resting on her shoulder.

“Got tired of sitting by yourself?” Kara asks, and Lena’s huff ruffles her hair.

“The stupid mouse wouldn’t leave me alone,” She grumbles, and Kara looks back towards their table to see the Chuck-E Cheese mascot waving cheerfully in their direction. She snorts, turning in the circle of Lena’s arms until she can pull her close enough to kiss gently.

“You know, it is possible to have fun here. Why don’t you come play Dance Dance Revolution with us?”

“One,” Lena says pointedly, “I can’t dance, you know that. And two, I think Conner has abandoned you.”

Kara turns to see that Conner has indeed found a group of kids around his age at the ball pit, and is working on wrestling off his shoes and putting them into the provided cubbies so he can dive inside.

“So much for playing with Momma,” Kara sighs, and she can almost see Lena’s eye twitch as Conner submerges himself bodily in germ-ridden colourful plastic balls.

“That’s a metaphor for the rest of our lives with him, isn’t it?” Lena sighs, her head dipping to lean against Kara’s chest. “He finds his own people, and leaves us behind.”

“Probably,” Kara agrees, smiling a little wistfully. “But, on the bright side? The more he socializes, the healthier he’ll be. And…the more alone time we’ll get.”

“True.” She can feel Lena’s smile against her shoulder. They watch him quietly for a moment as he pelts one of his new friends in a game of free-for-all dodgeball. He dives under the balls to escape retribution, and she can see that he must have left a sock behind when he struggled out of his sneakers.

“I’m going to need the name and cell phone number of the person responsible for sanitization,” Lena says firmly. Kara laughs, tracing a finger along Lena’s jaw.

“Babe, let him play. If there’s germs, there’s germs. He has to build immunities, right?”

“You only say that because you didn’t have to take care of him last time he was sick,” Lena says, her attention finally diverted from the ball pit situation. “He gets man-colds.”

“He’s 6.”

Lena rolls her eyes. “He’s a monster when he’s not feeling well, just like his mother.”

“Hey!” Kara protests, before thinking back to the last time she had the flu. She can vaguely remember lying miserably on the couch swaddled in blankets - calling Lena at work, Eliza, Alex, and finally her favourite Chinese restaurant just to have someone to whine at.

The restaurant had sent her free wonton soup, at least.

“Okay, that’s fair,” She finally admits. “How about, to forget about the always-traumatic experience of Chuck-E Cheese, we have a nice hot bath after we put Conner to bed? Just you and me.”

Lena practically melts at the suggestion, leaning into Kara fully with a sigh. “That sounds…wonderful. How soon do you think we can convince Conner to leave?”

On cue, Conner clambers out of the ball pit and disappears into the plastic tunnels above, his parents completely forgotten.

“I think we’re going to be here a while.”

It ends up being past Conner’s bedtime by the time Kara practically carries him out of the arcade, and as vehemently as he protests that he is _not tired_, he’s out like a light as soon as he’s strapped into his booster seat. Kara carries him into the house and he stubbornly refuses to help at all as she changes him into his jammies, but she’s relieved that he didn’t wake up after she’s gently closed the door to his room and she hears the distant sound of the ensuite bathtub filling up.

When she steps into the doorway Lena is already submerged in water and bubbles, leaned back against the porcelain. She opens her eyes when she hears Kara’s footsteps, and she sits up with intent.

“Care to join me?”

Kara is already half-out of her pants with the door locked before Lena is finished asking. She sinks into the hot water behind Lena with a sigh, and Lena leans back into her chest with a happy smile.

“It’s been too long since we’ve done this,” Lena says, lifting her leg out of the warm water and watching as the bubbles slide over her calf. “Baths relax me, but they’re so much better with you.”

“Happy to be of service,” Kara grins. She rubs Lena’s shoulders absently, enjoying the slide of skin on wet skin. “When you used to take those hour-long baths while Conner was napping, I always wanted to just get in here with you.”

“You really should have,” Lena says offhandedly, her tone making her next statement seem benign. “I was usually getting myself off.”

It takes Kara a few seconds to grasp that statement. While her brain catches up, Lena idly runs a loofah over her legs, and by the time Kara’s voice works again she’s moved on to her arms.

“_What_?”

Lena chuckles, her head lolling back onto Kara’s shoulder. “Mhm. It was the only time I knew I could be alone. The detachable showerhead and I were best friends.”

Kara glances up, where said showerhead sits innocently on the wall. “The…showerhead?”

“Have you not tried it?” Lena asks, as if getting oneself off with jets of hot water is commonplace. Maybe it is, and Kara has just been missing out. Either way, it makes her painfully curious.

She’s hit, then, with the image of Lena in here alone. Her hair up in a messy bun, skin flushed from the hot water, detachable showerhead under the surface. How her head would tip back as it did its work, mouth open in a silent cry, the water churning as she made herself come.

She’s standing up in the tub before she knows it. Lena makes a disgruntled noise as her backrest is taken away, but it trails off into a shaky breath when she sees that Kara has grabbed the showerhead and is fiddling with the faucet.

“What are you doing?” Lena asks, a badly-concealed tremble in her voice. Kara grins, pulling the tab on the faucet that switches water to the shower.

“Trying it.”

Lena laughs, sharp and full of anticipation.

“On…yourself?”

Kara doesn’t answer. The showerhead starts, spraying down into the soapy water, and Kara sinks back down into her spot and pulls a flustered Lena flush against her front.

“So,” Kara asks, slipping the showerhead under the water. She doesn’t move it into place yet, keeps it near her side, but Lena’s legs part anyways. It gives her a heady rush of adrenaline. “What did you think about when you did this?”

“I –“ Lena stammers, swallowing hard. Kara can see her toes curling and uncurling underwater through the suds. “I thought about you. About a lot of things.”

And then Kara moves the showerhead, slips it into the open space between Lena’s thighs, and Lena arches into it with a gasp.

“Give me an example,” Kara murmurs, trailing kisses down her damp neck, nosing strands of hair out of the way. She tastes like sweat and soap, and it’s absolutely perfect.

Lena leans into it, exposes her neck to Kara’s mouth until she indulges what Lena is clearly asking for and sinks her teeth in. “_Fuck_. Mostly, um. Mostly things we’ve done, now.”

“Anything we haven’t?”

“A few,” Lena gasps, her knees spreading as wide as they can in the narrow tub as Kara presses the jet harder. “_God_, Kara –“

“Shh,” Kara murmurs, her free hand sliding out of the water to press over Lena’s mouth. “It echoes in here. Make too much noise, and you won’t get to come.”

Kara knows exactly what Lena’s response to being gagged is – and true to form Lena moans raggedly against Kara’s palm, muffled but not silenced. Her feet slide on the bottom of the tub, her hands clenched hard on the sides – and Kara nips at her ear as she struggles to stay quiet, moving the showerhead in slow circles until Lena is arching up so hard that half her torso leaves the water, only held back by Kara’s hand.

She comes hard and fast under Kara’s attention, the vein in her forehead stark against her skin as she tries and fails to do it quietly.

Kara finally removes her hand when Lena relaxes back into the water, her chest heaving distractingly.

“Okay,” Kara says evenly, turning off the water while Lena tries to even out her breathing. “I can see the merits of the showerhead method.”

Lena laughs, full-bellied and loud enough that it’s probably going to wake Conner, but for this moment Kara doesn’t care. Lena’s joy makes her happy, especially when it’s loose and post-coital.

“I’m glad to have introduced you to this revolutionary technique.”

“Better than using it by yourself?” Kara asks, and Lena groans lowly, sinking down into the water until she’s submerged almost to her chin.

“Do you even have to ask?”

And then Conner knocks on the bathroom door, asking why they’re still awake past bedtime, and Kara thanks whatever deity is listening for the little moments she gets to capture with her wife.

* * *

The summer before Conner starts first grade is hectic in a way that means their alone time is generally limited to the window between Conner’s later off-school bedtime and the absolute minimum amount of sleep they can both handle, and it’s a deep relief to both of them when September comes and he’s in school every day. It means that, every so often when the stars align, they can take a mutual day off from work and have the assurance that he won’t be around until they pick him up at 3:30.

One such morning comes on a Friday, when Kara drives Conner to school only to hear her phone ping before she’s even pulled out of the parking lot.

**[James Olsen]: Heard you’re feeling under the weather. Hope you feel better soon! See you Monday.**

She frowns at the message, putting the car in park. Luckily a second message comes through immediately after, and this one clears the confusion and puts a big, stupid grin on her face.

**[Lena]: My day was unexpectedly cleared, and your boss has been informed that you’ve developed food poisoning. How tragic.**

Kara chuckles, tapping out a response.

** _Good thing I don’t have any deadlines, huh?_ **

The response takes a moment, but she doesn’t have to wait too long before she’s laughing again.

**[Lena]: Incredibly convenient. Almost premeditated, I’d say. **

She meets Lena at a bistro they used to frequent before weekend brunches became a thing of the past, and after eggs benedict and smoothies they make a day of it – they wander the city like they have nowhere important to be, holding hands and trading kisses at every stoplight like teenagers. It’s something they used to do fairly often, calling in sick or coming in late to work, feigning appointments to get just a few more hours to eat breakfast or lie in bed together. But those days came to a halt once they had a toddler in the house, and it’s not often anymore than they get to play hooky, both from work and from parental responsibilities. Kara intends on making the absolute most of it.

Which includes, on a whim, dragging Lena by the hand into a high-end sex shop.

“I don’t understand why we can’t just buy our things online,” Lena hisses as Kara steps confidently through the door, grabbing a small basket and leading her immediately to the vibrator section. The clerk looks up at them with a friendly wave, and she can feel Lena tense when the girl calls out.

“Can I help you with anything?”

“_No_,” Lena says firmly, at the same time as Kara is asking “What’s your restraint selection like?”, and the girl looks back and forth between them like she’s not sure who to address.

“Actually, we’re fine for now,” Kara assures her, stepping into a secluded corner where blindfolds of every colour and description decorate the walls. Lena peers up at them with badly-disguised interest, but her eyes also dart to the clerk, who is engrossed deeply in reading something on her phone.

“Are you okay?” Kara asks quietly, clasping Lena’s hands. “I thought this would be fun, but if it makes you uncomfortable, we can leave.”

Lena sighs, stepping closer into Kara’s space like she wants to soak up her comfort. “I’m not – it’s just that I don’t love the idea of some person I’ve never met seeing my list of dirty purchases.”

“You know that _someone_ always sees it, right?” Kara says, squeezing Lena’s fingers. “Like, whether it’s the person putting your order into the mail or this random cashier, it’s always someone.”

“Yes, but it’s easier to ignore when that someone is faceless, and my toys come in a discreetly packaged bag.”

Kara laughs, swinging their arms gently between them. “That’s fair. We can go, if you’d like.”

Lena looks like she’s about to agree. But her eyes catch on something on the opposite wall behind Kara, and she can see Lena’s throat bob as she swallows hard. Kara turns, and a series of tingles cascades down her body to settle below her waistband when she sees what Lena was looking at with wide, dark eyes.

It’s a display at the end of a long rack of basic dildos – a number of anal plugs of various sizes and colours, organized from small to very, _very_ large.

Kara turns back to Lena with a wide grin, and Lena blushes much harder than she’d probably like to admit.

“Do you want to go look?” Kara asks quietly.

Lena considers it for a moment. She looks to the door, and then to the cashier - and then finally to Kara and, behind her, the objects of her fascination.

Finally, she nods.

With a victorious grin Kara leads her to the display, picking up the first plug she sees – a small variety, made of black silicone. For beginners, the label says. She holds it up to Lena, who looks at it with clear interest.

“How about this one?”

“That one looks…fine,” Lena says, her voice breaking on the word in a way it only does when she’s turned on to the point of distraction. Her eyes track somewhere to Kara’s left, but jerk away from whatever she was looking at so abruptly that it must be something absolutely delicious.

Kara turns, and directly in front of her face is a fairly sizable bullet-shaped silver plug capped with a glittering blue jewel.

A princess plug. Lena Luthor wants a _princess plug_. It’s bigger than the one Kara is holding - it’s bigger than Kara’s two fingers, definitely. And Lena has looked at it no less than 3 times in about 15 seconds, meaning she definitely wants Kara to find a way to fit it inside her.

The tingle she’s been feeling turns into a wet pulse, and she can feel her boxer briefs starting to cling distractingly.

She’s not sure she can maintain her confident attitude if she actually speaks. Instead she points at the plug in question, and looks pointedly at her wife.

Lena doesn’t even glance at the cashier anymore when she nods vigorously, and into the basket it goes.

After that, Lena’s curiosity overrides her discomfort. She moves through the store with the same confident inquisitiveness she has when they peruse online shops together, ignoring the cashier entirely in favour of considering each and every toy that looks interesting. And, she doesn’t actually say anything, but Kara sees the way Lena’s eyes track over the display of large, almost comically oversize strap-ons in the corner. She takes them in, wets her lips, swallows, and looks away, her cheeks tinged with pink.

Kara notes it for later.

Kara is the one distracted, though, by the section that Lena points out as the ‘pegging section’.

“I’m sorry, the _what_?” Kara squeaks, looking in alarm at the package Lena is pointing at. The picture features a sultry-looking brunette woman, leaning over her male partner and wearing a harness equipped with the smallest dildo Kara has ever seen.

“Pegging,” Lena says matter-of-factly, her smile far too delighted to be anything but smug. “You know, women strapping their masculine partners? Like, anal dildos.”

How Lena got the upper hand in this situation when she entered the shop nervous and blushing, Kara has no idea, but she’s definitely turned the scenario around. Kara is the one blushing now, and Lena traces a finger along one of the smaller boxes.

“Maybe this could be an alternative to your penetration aversion?”

“_Jesus_, Lena,” Kara hisses, looking around as if someone is listening in. The friendly clerk is still staring at her phone, playing them no mind, and Kara looks down at the package now in Lena’s hands.

“_Now_ who’s embarrassed?” Lena grins, white teeth flashing in a way that strikes Kara as almost predatory.

Kara has never enjoyed standard penetration much, it’s true. She likes the sensation of something small being inside her while her clit is rubbed, can sometimes get off on her g-spot being directly stimulated, but gets nothing from stretch or movement or friction. She has however experimented with other holes a time or two, just a fingertip or a vibrator pressed very strategically, with overwhelmingly positive results.

She almost regrets admitting that to Lena and giving her this ammunition for teasing. But past the teasing Lena actually seems entirely serious, and when Lena bites her lip Kara is hit with the image of Lena above her, pressing something into her ass - easing inside her, eliciting that feeling she remembers so well from a few mindblowing orgasms in college, but _deeper_ –

Well.

Kara snatches it and puts it in the basket with the plug, and Lena grins like the Cheshire cat.

They leave with several bags and a lighter bank account, and Lena seems to make it her mission to run Kara off the road on the way home. She doesn’t touch Kara while she drives, doesn’t distract her with actions – she just talks. She talks about what she wants to do when she gets home, how she can’t wait to put on the harness and see just how much Kara can take. How much she’s looking forward to using the brand-new lube dispenser Kara installed three weeks ago.

Kara really played herself, there.

It feels like a lifetime before they get home. They’re both pretty intent on getting to business right away, Lena pulling Kara through the door and Kara tearing the thing out of its packaging in the hallway, and once it’s been opened and washed she pushes Kara towards the bedroom with a wry grin.

“It’s half-past naked o’clock, Danvers.”

There’s no steel in Lena’s tone, but there is excitement. Excitement, affection, and a hint of nerves. Lena is into this idea, clearly – this isn’t the first time she’s suggested it, after all – but it’s completely new for both of them, and it actually settles Kara to know that Lena is also a bit nervous. It makes it easier to follow her order, to strip down and watch Lena step naked into the new harness, to bend to Lena’s quiet, simple request of _hands and knees, please_?

Kara might not be familiar with _taking it_ like this, but she knows Lena. And nothing makes Lena happier than being good at things.

And quite honestly, after seeing how hard Lena came with two fingers in her ass, Kara is pretty fucking eager for it. She bends over for Lena without a second thought and buries her burning face in the pillows, and behind her a drawer opens and closes quickly. The bed dips under Lena’s weight, and she can feel the toy pressing into her thigh as Lena pulls her hips closer.

“_God_, you have a nice back,” Lena murmurs, spreading her hands wide over Kara’s shoulderblades and dragging them down. “I don’t usually get to see you like this.”

“Usually it’s the other way around,” Kara quips, and she’s immediately rewarded with Lena’s short nails digging into her lower back. It tingles in the best way, and the blunt drag of them over her skin is enough to make her whine quietly.

Lena clearly notices. She does it again, starting from Kara’s shoulders and dragging all the way down until Kara arches up into it like a cat, and the low chuckle she hears from Lena’s position behind her makes her shiver with anticipation.

Kara is struck, then, by how quickly the tables have turned between them. A few months ago she’d had Lena in this position, bent over and grinding her ass onto Kara’s face until she was so mindlessly turned on that she made herself come. Now Kara is the one bent over, naked and vulnerable and _excited_ as Lena smooths soft hands over her lower back. She can feel Lena’s gaze like a brand, moving from her shoulders down her back and finally resting on her ass, spread wide and open and so, _so_ ready for whatever Lena is offering.

And god, Lena adapts to her new position beautifully. Her left hand slips past Kara’s lower back, down and under until she’s gently, teasingly grazing her clit, and for a moment her right hand is unaccounted for.

And then Kara hears the press of the lube dispenser, and she has to bite the pillow to stifle her impatient groan.

“Oh, don’t do that, love,” Lena says, and Kara can hear the scene happening behind her so clearly that she doesn’t need to look – the wet sound as Lena spreads lubricant over the toy, the hiss of her breath as the harness backing presses into her pelvis. “I want to hear you.”

Kara has said those words to Lena, in various iterations, probably hundreds of times before. But she’s never had it reflected back at her, not _once_, and it’s as unfamiliar as it is exciting. She’s out of her comfort zone, and the only thing to hold on to is Lena.

“Okay,” Kara says shakily. Lena makes a pleased noise, and Kara can hear her take a deep, steadying breath before her slick thumb makes a quick circle over Kara’s ass.

“Are you ready for me?”

Against her will, Kara melts. Her arms give out underneath her, splaying forwards into a sort of bastardized yoga position, and her face burns so hot she’s sure Lena must be able to feel it radiating from the pillows. She’s not at all in control of this situation, and the loss is terrifying and exhilarating and _god_, does she want it.

“Yes,” Kara gasps, clutching at the slats in the headboard for emotional support as Lena circles again. “Fuck. I’m ready. How are you so _good_ at this?”

“I might have done some research.” Lena’s voice is a curious mixture of smug and overwhelmed, and the combination is doing a number on Kara’s mental state. 

“Of course you did,” Kara replies, almost laughing - and then her words are taken from her completely as the tip of their new toy nudges once, twice, and then – 

It’s an adjustment, those first few moments. The toy is bigger than anything she’s ever taken, and it almost burns as it presses inside her – but above all that, past the initial discomfort, it feels _good_. She understands, now, why Lena squirmed as much as she did when she was rimming her. It’s a different sensation, not quite the focused pleasure of her clit but even more powerful just in its very concept. She’s being pegged. Lena is fucking her ass. _Lena is fucking her ass._

It’s so much sensation, so much mental stimulation, so much of everything – and as good as it feels, it’s almost too much. Lena is pressing deeper and deeper, and everything about it is alien – the position, the sensation, the slight discomfort as Lena gets about half of the toy inside her. Kara is starting to have trouble breathing, and slowly she realizes she needs to do something she’s never done before.

“Yellow!” Kara chokes, and Lena stops immediately. She doesn’t pull out, thankfully, but her hips freeze and the grip she has on Kara’s hips gets worryingly tight.

“Oh god. Fuck, I went too fast, didn’t I?” Lena says, her voice tight with anxiety, but Kara reaches a hand back and grips at the only part of her wife she can reach. It ends up being her upper thigh, and she squeezes tight as she tries to put into words the chaos she’s feeling.

“S’fine,” She grunts, focusing on her breathing. “Just…new. Need a minute.”

“Okay,” Lena says shakily, smoothing her hands up and down Kara’s back in a gesture that seems to be as self-soothing as it is comforting for Kara. “Okay. Okay.”

Kara takes a few deep breaths, and tries to centre herself. She focuses on her body, on the other sensations besides the toy – the feeling of Lena’s hands, familiar and warm. The slow throb of her clit. The softness of their sheets against her face, the cool wood under her hands. Then sounds – Lena’s breathing, slightly laboured with anxiety. The rustle of fabric. Her own heartbeat, fast and still excited.

She concentrates until it’s all good feelings, until the anxiety starts to ebb and she can focus on what’s really important. The fact that one of her most secret desires, unknown even to herself until now, is being fulfilled right now. That Lena is enjoying herself, and so is Kara, and this is just like everything else they’ve ever done together. A moment of connection, for both of them.

All at once Kara shifts, and the toy shifts inside her, and she remembers where she is and what’s happening. Her arousal roars to life again even louder than before.

She wants Lena to fuck her.

“I’m good,” Kara says, sighing and letting her tense body relax bit by bit, all the way down to where she’s stretched around the strap. Welcoming the intrusion, rather than fighting it. “I’m good now.”

Lena doesn’t move. Her hands relax slightly but they stay where they are, like she doesn’t trust that Kara is telling the truth.

“Lena,” Kara finally says firmly, moving her hips back onto the toy on her own with a groan. “_Green_.”

The green light seems to help. She can hear Lena take a long breath, and when she lets it out she moves her hips almost imperceptibly.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes,” Kara grunts, and the toy slides in another half-inch.

“You want it?”

Lena’s voice is low and rough now, the anxiety giving way to a sort of hunger Kara has never heard before, and it makes her legs feel like noodles where they hold her hips in the air.

“Yes.”

She can hear the smile in Lena’s voice when she answers.

“_What_ do you want, Kara?”

Fuck.

“Lena…” Kara whines, trying to wiggle back and onto the toy – but Lena moves with her, keeping it in the same shallow amount. A patented Kara Danvers teasing move. As is the way she encourages Kara to voice what she wants. All of this is exactly what she does to Lena, exactly what she did to Lena just a few weeks ago, just flipped over and used against her like a weapon.

_Oh god_, Kara thinks as Lena takes a firm hold of her hips.

_Am I being topped?_

Christ. She’s quickly losing any and all control of the situation, and Lena is asking her to take it a step further.

She’s starting to understand, now, why Lena likes to be fucked the way she does. There’s something intoxicating about giving control to someone you trust, submitting to whatever they want to do to you with the knowledge that their focus is your pleasure. It’s not something Kara would want all the time, certainly. Even now, it’s a struggle to accept the flipped dynamic. But at this moment, with Lena dragging her nails up and down Kara’s back and withholding the strap she wants buried inside her so completely, Kara is willing to try it out.

She just has to say it.

“I want you to fuck my ass,” She finally groans quietly, muffled in the mattress. There’s no immediate response, and Kara’s insides squirm at the idea of having to say it again – but finally there’s movement behind her, and she almost sags in relief.

Contrary to what Kara craves, though, Lena doesn’t immediately sink the strap inside her. She hears a rustle, and a squirt – the lube dispenser? It’s enough of a mystery that she moves her face from the sheets and twists to look back at Lena, and what she sees makes her brain reboot.

Lena has a handful of lube. An overflowing one, cupped in her palm and held over Kara’s lower back. When she sees Kara looking she smiles, and slowly closes her fist, squeezing until the liquid overflows and spills down.

It’s warmed from Lena’s hand when it hits Kara’s ass, dripping over her skin and the toy and the place where they meet, half-buried. It slides down the backs of her thighs to pool in the hollow of her knees – but it’s still cool against her overheated skin, and the contrast of it paired with the sensation of overwhelming slickness makes her whimper.

Lena smiles, smearing her wet hand across Kara’s hip.

“I need to make sure you’re ready for me,” She says, her eyes dark and wanting.

Kara’s whole body clenches. Her clit is throbbing, probably swollen and begging for attention, but she’s not really capable of moving her hands from the headboard to address it – and besides, she knows that the moment she gives it any stimulation whatsoever, she’s going to be coming.

And she doesn’t want this to be over yet.

So instead she pushes back against Lena’s hips again, back against the toy, expecting Lena to follow the movement and keep her in limbo like she has been. But finally, god, _finally_, Lena doesn’t move out of the way. She stays blessedly firm, letting Kara fill herself to the brim with a surprised, uneven cry.

“Lena,” Kara gasps. The backs of her thighs are pressed hard against her wife, wet and warm. “Holy _fuck_.” 

It practically glides inside her with all the lubrication, and the sensation of absolute _fullness_ given to her by such a tiny toy steals her breath.

“Are you good?” Lena asks, her hand trailing down Kara’s spine to land on her waist in a light grasp. One last anticipatory green light, before this endeavour really starts.

Kara answers with three fingers pressed firmly against the headboard, and Lena’s grip tightens.

And then, Kara stops thinking entirely. All of her brainpower is focused on the physical instead - on the way her back is arched to give Lena more access, on the hard rhythm they strike together and the wet impact of skin on skin. Fullness, stretch, push and pull; and enough pressure to make her go out of her goddamn _mind_.

It’s good. It’s so _good_, every second of it, but Kara is plateauing before she can reach the peak she needs. She knows a few strokes to her clit will get her there, but she can’t seem to make her arms work. She wedges one of them under her uselessly, trapped under her stomach but barely adding any pressure where she needs it, her hand feeling clumsy and weak – and that’s when Lena slows her pace, fumbles around on the bedspread for something, and then there’s something cool and hard being tapped against her hip.

Kara grasps at it inelegantly, wrapping her hand around –

A vibrator.

Between the two of them, their collection of vibrators is nothing short of formidable. They have bullets and rabbits, g-spot stimulators and vibes that can bend into creative shapes – but this one is Kara’s favourite. It’s one of their larger ones, a reliable wand-style toy that’s given Kara some of her most earth-shattering orgasms both with Lena and without. Lena knows exactly how hard she comes with it, and now it’s being pressed into her hand insistently as Lena pants _I knew you’d need it, love._

And she does. She didn’t realize how much until she’s wedging it between her cunt and the mattress and flicking the on switch, but it’s exactly what she was missing, and it takes mere seconds of grinding down onto it as Lena pounds into her as hard as her lower body strength will allow for Kara to come. It’s hard and fast and _dirty_, and it doesn’t end even as Lena stops moving. It just keeps feeling good, her clit pulsing hot jolts of relief straight to her brain, and she doesn’t care how desperate she sounds as she presses herself into it even harder.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, god, _don’t_ –“ She chokes into the pillow, and Kara loves her wife so fucking much because she doesn’t stop. She picks up again, following the slower, wave-like rhythm Kara’s hips started as Kara grinds down into the vibrator; and she keeps at it until Kara’s legs finally give out and splay akimbo onto the sheets, her second orgasm shuddering through her in waves.

And then she pulls out so slow, so careful, so gradual – and the moment the strap is free, she collapses into a heap beside Kara, trembling with exertion.

“Oh my god,” She groans, her feet slowly losing their traction until her legs lie flat against the mattress. “I feel like I’m going to _die_.”

Kara laughs breathlessly.

“I’m impressed that you kept up.”

“You’ve done that pace for me for _hours_,” Lena says disbelievingly. “And then you take care of me after. How do you do it? Two rounds, and I feel like I’m never going to be able to move my thighs again. And my _abs_.” Lena pokes at her stomach, wincing. “I’m going to be sore for two weeks.”

Kara shrugs, half her face squished into the bed as she gazes adoringly at her complaining wife. “Weight training?”

“You haven’t been to the gym since Conner was born.”

“Superior determination?” Kara offers, and Lena snorts, swatting at her. Kara can feel her sore muscles flaring up as she laughs.

“Shut up.”

“You asked!”

They lie in comfortable silence for a few beats, until Kara finally manages to flip herself onto her back and survey the scene. Half the pillows and blankets are scattered across the room, there’s another huge wet spot between them on the bed, and Lena is lying with her head on one of the few remaining pillows, sweaty and glowing.

“That was…messy, huh?” Kara remarks, gesturing at said mess. Lena shrugs.

“We still haven’t gotten rid of the mattress _you_ spilled lube all over,” Lena says, indicating the spot where Kara knows there’s still a faint stain from their last exploration in this arena. “Figured we might as well send it off in style. It’s been through a lot.”

Kara laughs, gliding her thighs together. “Seen us through many experiments. Good ones.”

“Like this one?” Lena says. There’s a tiny thread of insecurity clear in her voice, and when she hears it Kara smiles softly, shifting and leaning over Lena on an elbow.

“Abso_lutely_.”

* * *

Before Lena really considers herself ready for him to grow up, Conner is moving through first grade and onto second with ease (of course he is, Lena can’t help but think proudly as they send him off to his first day. With Kara as a mother, he can do anything.) Their lives get more hectic than ever as more gets added to their schedules – karate, basketball, cello lessons, dance. Conner is curious and bright and wants to try everything, and it means that she and Kara have less time for each other than ever.

It requires more finesse in finding their private moments.

“Anyone could find us,” Lena murmurs into Kara’s mouth, her hands not ceasing in their wandering despite her own warning. “God, this is such a bad idea.”

The sound of squeaking sneakers and basketballs hitting the floor beyond the bleachers they’re ensconced behind is a stark reminder of where they are, and the very delicate line they’re walking. A reminder that makes itself known shamefully between Lena’s legs.

“Isn’t that what makes it fun?” Kara whispers, nipping at Lena’s jaw in a way that makes her melt. It isn’t Conner’s practice going on in the gym they snuck into, thankfully – he’s at tutoring a few halls over right now, learning French at his own insistence. And she knows this is the mother of all bad ideas, but she’s never been able to resist when Kara gets _that look_ on her face and tugs her somewhere private. Even when it’s the definitely occupied gymnasium at their son’s school.

Another sharp nip at her ear makes Lena whine, and as if she has no idea exactly how much it’s going to wreck Lena’s entire shop, Kara reaches up and puts a broad hand over her throat.

“Quiet, babe,” She breathes, pressing her thumb and forefinger into the throbbing arteries in Lena’s neck with devastating precision. The pressure on her windpipe is superfluous, just for show, but it chokes off any noise Lena was making immediately. She can feel her knees going weak, and Kara presses her own knee between them and pins Lena’s hips to the bleachers as if she can read Lena’s mind.

It’s sometimes uncanny how well Kara knows her, and right now, she knows Kara is completely aware that the fact that she clearly did her research is almost more attractive than the choking itself. Although, she thinks as her head starts to swim in a way that makes her arousal soar up several levels, the choking is also…_very_ good.

Lena grinds out a small, silent orgasm against Kara’s khakis, and they don’t separate until they hear practice let out.

It’s a delicate game, one that they’re both happy to play if it means they get a few moments of solitude every so often. But it’s tiring - and surprisingly, it’s actually Alex and Kelly who give them an idea that keeps them entertained for months.

It happens at their bi-monthly dinner, after Conner abandons his half-finished plate to play with his cousins. He absolutely adores Mason and Kya, siblings that Alex and Kelly started fostering around the time Conner was 2 and adopted as soon as they could. Lena can remember how afraid Mason was at first, looking at everything and everyone like they were a threat, keeping Ky close even from his new foster parents. Perhaps, Lena thinks sadly, _especially_ from his new foster parents. Now he gives Kelly a big, wet kiss on the cheek before showing Conner and Ky the best way to construct a pirate ship out of Legos, and they’re looking at the older boy like he’s the world expert on plastic block construction.

“How’s Conner doing at school?” Alex asks, as they sip their wine and observe the impromptu sculpture class in the living room. “Grade 2 treating him well?”

Lena nods, her smile proud as she watches Conner work on the ship’s mast, his tongue sticking out in concentration the same way Kara’s does when she’s not paying attention. “He’s still excited to go every morning.”

“Although, yesterday he said his favourite subject was _math_, so clearly we need to get him in an advanced reading program so he’ll become an English major like me,” Kara says, grinning cheekily. Lena rolls her eyes.

“You wish.”

A chuckle goes around the table, and Lena sighs, twisting the stem of her glass back and forth.

“I do worry that we aren’t involved enough. I feel like the only time I get to see his progress is at parent-teacher nights.”

“So join the PTA,” Kelly suggests, and the look on Kara’s face can only be described as contemptuous.

“I am _not_ joining the PTA,” She says firmly, and Alex looks at her in clear surprise.

“Why not? It gets you involved.”

“We joined the PTA at Mason and Ky’s school,” Kelly says helpfully. Kara shakes her head, determined in her scorn.

“You don’t understand what this school is like, Alex. Private schools are insane. The PTA here is like, 95% WASPy rich ladies in Rolls-Royces.”

“You mean…like Lena when you met?” Alex says, grinning.

Kara bristles, and smacks her sister so hard on the arm that Lena can practically hear the bruise forming.

“Hey!”

“_Ow_! What, it’s true!”

“Shut _up_ –“

“Mom!” Conner calls from the living room, a sweet grumpy frown on his face as he’s forced to pause in his play to discipline his parent. “No hitting! Be nice!”

“You’re teaching him too well,” Kara grumbles, which Alex cackles victoriously. Lena smiles, and gives Conner a thumbs-up that he returns with a proud, toothy grin.

“I’m teaching him to stand up for people,” Lena says, quietly enough that the kids can’t hear. “And _people_, apparently, includes his asshole aunt.”

“Hey, fuck you, Luthor!”

Conner’s voice pipes up again, in response to Alex’s very loud swear.

“Auntie Alex! _Pottymouth_!”

This time, Kara seems perfectly happy to benefit from Conner’s good manners. She grabs the glass jar from the nearby end table, shoving it smugly in Alex’s face.

“Put a dollar in the swear jar, auntie Alex. Conner wants to buy a hamster with it.”

Alex shoves a 5 in the jar, and gives Kara the finger.

And despite Kara’s reticence, they join the PTA. Kara claims that it’s because she’s determined not to let a bunch of people she doesn’t know make all the decisions, but Lena knows that she does want to be more involved, and that her sister’s assurance it’s not all that bad has made her more open to the idea.

And, Alex’s promise to babysit during meetings and for a good amount of time _after_ likely spurred Kara’s decision-making.

When they arrive, Lena starts to regret the choice.

There’s a sort of whispered hush when they enter the gymnasium, their hands tightly clasped together, and try to find two empty seats. The feeling that they’re _new_, and they’re under intense scrutiny. Kara greets people as they sit down, shaking a few hands and introducing them, but Lena’s back is ramrod straight when she takes a seat on the plastic chairs, her expression stony in comparison to Kara’s nervous friendliness. The only thing that makes her relax slightly is seeing Conner’s kindergarten teacher a few rows up, holding hands with a tall man that Lena has never seen before. He turns and gives her a thumbs-up, and the fact that he’s remembered her at all – and, quite honestly, the fact that they aren’t the only gay people in the room – is comforting. Even when the meeting finally fills up, probably about 100 people filling most of the seats save for a few empty rows in the back.

Lena wishes more than anything that they had sat back there – especially when a woman with an air of intense authority steps behind the podium at the front of the room. A woman that Lena recognizes immediately, much to her dismay. The speaker picks up an honest-to-god gavel, tapping it on the wood a few times until everyone quiets down and listens.

Andrea always did have a good stage presence.

“Hello, everyone! I’m Andrea Rojas, President of the PTA. Thank you for being here – I’m looking forward to a great year.”

“Rojas?” Kara asks, squinting up at the podium. “Where do I know that name from?”

_You know it because Andrea Rojas dumped me at the end of senior year by revealing an engagement to someone more acceptable_, Lena wants to say. But the room is under Andrea’s sway, and the middle of a quiet PTA meeting is not the time to remind Kara of something this big. She got over Andrea a long time ago.

Kara, though, has always harboured a few ill feelings about her ex.

“I’d like to call this meeting to order. Can I have that seconded?”

A brunette in the first row raises her hand instantly, and Andrea gives her a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Thank you, Siobhan. Now, I’d like to start with some remarks.”

Kara frowns, still seeming stuck on trying to figure out where she recognizes Andrea from. She leans over and whisper-yells in Lena’s ear, in a way that Lena’s sure is intentional.

“This seems weirdly serious. Calling to order? Where are we, a courtroom?”

Lena snorts, and a few people twist in their seats to level them with a glare. Lena returns it frostily, summoning every bit of boardroom nerve until they finally break and turn back around, whispering to each other.

The meeting drags on agonizingly, after that. Andrea asks if there are any minutes from the last meeting, goes over those minutes point by point, and calls a motion to move to the next point on the agenda. It gets seconded by that same brunette woman in the front row, and the meeting moves on to the Treasurer’s Report with military precision.

“Jeez louise,” Kara whispers, slinging an arm over the back of Lena’s chair. The protective move makes Lena feel a hint of comfort for the first time since they stepped out of the car. “You’d think this was life or death.”

“It’s not much different than some of my business meetings,” Lena says, shrugging.

“Yeah, and you sext me during your business meetings because they’re boring.”

“_Kara_!”

Kara giggles just loudly enough to carry a few rows up, and Lena can tell that the only thing keeping the people in front of them from turning around again is fear.

Good.

With a careful hand pressed to Kara’s thigh Lena leans over, and whispers in her ear.

“Maybe if you’re good for the rest of the meeting, I’ll do more than that when we get home.”

Kara’s face turns pink. She crosses her legs tightly, and doesn’t say another word until the meeting is adjourned. She runs off to get the car the second it’s socially acceptable to do so, and Lena is left waiting by the doors, trying to cage her excitement about the teasing she’s going to get to do on the drive home. They can talk about Andrea _after_.

Her pleasant thoughts are interrupted by someone gently touching her wrist, and the worst possible scenario starts to unfold.

Andrea is older now, more distinguished than she was when they were in college – a few elegant lines around her eyes, her thick hair a few carefully dyed shades lighter than it used to be – but the look she gives Lena is still familiar.

“Of all the places to see you again,” Andrea says quietly, stepping close so as not to be overheard, “This was not even on my list. Lena Luthor, at a PTA meeting? I heard that you got married to some reporter, but I thought you didn’t want kids?”

“That’s quite a way to say hello after 15 years,” Lena sighs, shaking her head. Andrea was always direct to the point of harshness, and it’s something that she knows is an advantage in the business world. But in this situation, it makes her hackles rise a little.

“When I saw you in the crowd, I thought I was hallucinating. But you’ve hardly changed.”

“Nor have you, clearly. Still always in charge. Is everyone at this school under your thumb, or just the administration?”

“You always liked it when I was in charge.”

The shock of the statement almost makes Lena reel. But she manages to stand her ground, straightening her back and staring down at Andrea despite the other woman’s several inches of height advantage.

“How’s Russel?” She says frostily, an eyebrow carefully raised – and to her surprise, Andrea backs down in a way quite uncharacteristic. She actually softens a little, looking genuinely repentant.

“I suppose I deserve that,” Andrea says, her hands coming up in a gesture of surrender. Lena can see the glittering diamond on her left ring finger that haunted her nightmares for months after Andrea told her she was getting engaged. Now, it barely causes the ghost of a twinge. She can sense a sort of sadness to Andrea, a quiet desperation beneath the hard exterior, and she can guess exactly how well that strategic marriage is working out for her.

It makes her more grateful for Kara than ever.

“It’s fine,” Lena says, waving the apology away. “It’s in the past. Long in the past.”

“Clearly, if someone changed your mind about children,” Andrea says, with a quiet laugh. “I remember that being one of the biggest strains on our relationship.”

“The biggest strain on our relationship was the fact that you left me for someone your family liked better.”

Andrea doesn’t flinch. She’s too well-trained for that. But her lips purse, and she nods in a way that Lena remembers as one of her only acknowledgements of fault, and it settles her nerves a little.

“And, I never said I didn’t want kids, you know,” Lena says, a little more calmly. “Just that I thought I’d be a horrific parent, based on my experience with motherhood.”

“And, are you?” Andrea asks, her eyes narrowed in genuine interest. Lena shakes her head, smiling.

“No. Kara makes me a better person. And so does our son.”

Before Andrea can ask about Kara, the subject of their conversation pulls up in front of the building in their SUV. She jumps out of the car as soon as she’s put it in park, bounding up the stairs towards them – but her quick pace slows a little as she comes closer and sees who Lena is talking to. At closer range, clear recognition flashes across Kara’s face, and it’s definitely not a happy look.

Andrea’s piercing gaze falls on Kara in turn, and Lena can see in real time the way Kara’s body language changes. Gone is the eagerness, the sweet excitement. Kara’s shoulders straighten, and she draws herself to her full height even as Andrea does the same. Lena has seen the same change come over her a few times, when standing up for her or their son.

Despite the circumstances, her body reacts to it.

The moment she draws level with them, Kara’s arm goes around Lena’s waist. It’s clearly a power move, however unintentional, but Lena can’t say she’s complaining. Being plastered to Kara’s side actually makes her feel a little less unbalanced at realizing her most catastrophic ex is the President of the PTA at their son’s school.

“Andrea, right?” Kara says, holding out a hand for a brisk shake. Andrea takes it, clearly sizing Kara up as she does so – her eyes track from Kara’s oxfords all the way up to her face, and Lena can’t quite read her expression.

“Ms. Rojas.” Andrea rolls the ‘r’ like she always has, in a way Kara’s tongue doesn’t manage, and Kara reacts to the correction visibly. Their hands are suddenly clasped together so hard that she can see Andrea’s face twitch with discomfort, and Kara releases it with a tiny, victorious grin.

“Right. Lena’s told me all about you.”

It’s a statement that would seem benign in most other circumstances, but there’s a firmness to the way Kara says it, and Andrea picks it up immediately. It became a stand-off the moment they locked eyes, and Lena can’t help but feel her body waking up and warming to the authority coming off Kara in waves.

“Ah,” Andrea says, eyebrow raised as she looks back and forth between the two of them. “All good things, I hope?”

There are about a hundred answers to that question. Answers like, _she told me you dated in college. _Or, less diplomatically, _she told me you caused both her first gay panic and her deep-dive back into the closet. _A simple, _she told me you broke her heart_, perhaps.

Or, maybe most accurately, _she told me that your relationship is the reason she had trust issues._

But instead Kara only answers with a stiff smile, a meaningful blank space rather than an attack, and Andrea nods, seeming to sense the undertones.

“So,” She says, flexing her hand surreptitiously at her side after Kara’s iron handshake. “How old is your son? Would my kids know him?”

“Seven,” Kara answers, and Andrea’s eyebrows raise.

“Young,” She remarks, and Lena can see Kara’s jaw clench. “Mine are 14 and 12. You must have waited a while.”

“Adoption takes a long time,” Lena says mildly, squeezing Kara’s bicep reassuringly. “And, we waited until we were both ready. We didn’t want to rush.”

Andrea nods, her face getting softer as she watches them together. The way Kara’s irritation eases after just a small gesture from Lena, and she gazes down at her with a smile at the mention of their son. Seeing how they interact, Andrea looks almost _wistful_.

It’s that, it seems, that makes her finally cede the bout to Kara.

“Well, I won’t take any more of your time,” She says evenly, her controlled mask firmly back on. “It was good to see you again, Lena.”

Even though she’s stepping down, Andrea has never been one to let someone else have the last word. Side-stepping Kara entirely she moves into Lena’s space, and kisses Lena’s cheek in a way that would be friendly if it didn’t leave a big, pink lipstick stain.

“Nice meeting you. Hope to see you next time,” Andrea nods in Kara’s direction, already stepping away as Kara all but glares after her, her fists clenched.

Lena knows the entire exchange was a disaster, in pretty much every way. But she has to admit, there was something exciting about watching Kara go protective mode. She hasn’t felt the need to for a long time, with Lena’s mother and brother being long out of the picture, and Lena hadn’t realized that she missed how safe it makes her feel.

Unfortunately, though, the whole thing results in a drive home that’s much quieter than she was hoping. Kara seems thoughtful, with that crinkle between her brows that Lena knows means she’s thinking too hard. Kara still has a kiss on the forehead for her when she opens Lena’s car door, but she’s absent-minded and frowny when they enter the house.

She leaves her shoes on the front mat instead of putting them away, disappearing into the bedroom while Lena hangs up her coat, and when Lena trails after her she finds Kara in the ensuite, still fully dressed. She’s staring listlessly at the sink, her fists clenched just a little too hard on the edge as she leans onto the porcelain, and after about two full minutes of it Lena finally approaches from behind her.

“Kara?” Lena says quietly, and when the blonde doesn’t react she reaches out and runs a hand along her shoulders. “Darling?”

“Hm?” Kara says distractedly, straightening up to meet Lena’s gaze in the mirror. “Yeah?”

“Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” Kara insists, but her eyes say otherwise.

“You don’t seem fine. I seem to remember certain plans we made earlier this evening,” Lena says gently, hoping for at least a chuckle. What she gets is a half-hearted smile, and a shrug.

“Yeah. I just don’t really feel well.”

Normally, Lena would take that at face value, and lead Kara to bed for some snuggles and a lot of sleep. Maybe make her some tea, and put on her favourite movie. But when the change only happened between the end of the PTA meeting and getting in the car, she gets the feeling it might have another cause.

Lena takes a deep breath, and a shot in the dark.

“Is this about seeing Andrea?”

Kara’s shoulders tense under her hand, and Lena has her answer.

“I’m not jealous,” Kara says immediately, in a tone that indicates that’s exactly what she is. “I’m not.”

“It’s okay if you are. You can talk to me.”

Kara grimaces, looking disgusted with herself. “Jealousy is an ugly emotion.”

“It is,” Lena concedes, rubbing Kara’s shoulders softly. “But it’s also human, and if you’re feeling it, we should talk it out so that it doesn’t stay inside you anymore. Then, it won’t be so hard next time.”

Kara chews on her lip. She’s frowning into the sink, like somehow their matching electric toothbrushes hold the answers she’s seeking. When she finally speaks, her voice is tight and low.

“I know it’s irrational,” She starts, and she seems encouraged by Lena’s nod. “And I know everything with her happened forever ago. But seeing the way she _looked_ at you, I just –“

Lena continues with her shoulder rub, laying a few kisses there over Kara’s shirt, and Kara spits out her final thought so quickly that Lena has to strain to hear it.

“She looked at you like she wanted you back.”

“Kara,” Lena says softly, sympathetically. Kara cuts herself off, looking frustrated at her own emotions.

“I hate feeling like this. I _hate_ it. It’s stupid, and possessive, and –”

Lena interrupts her before her self-loathing can go on any longer. She tugs at Kara’s belt loop until she lets go of the sink, and pulls her into an embrace.

“Come here.”

She puts Kara’s hands on her hips herself, and slides her arms around her wife’s neck. Kara still has the crinkle, still looks angry at herself, and Lena kisses the tip of her nose until her attention is more focused.

“Kara,” Lena says firmly, in a tone that brooks no argument, “You give me things I could never get anywhere else. You give me everything I could ever need.”

“No one person can give someone everything,” Kara says quietly, her eyes round and vulnerable.

Lena smiles, cupping Kara’s jaw. “True. But you give me so much love, and support. You’re the best co-parent I could ask for. And you know you’ve given me things in the bedroom that I didn’t ever think were possible for me.”

“Yeah,” Kara mumbles, nodding. “I…I like knowing there are things you’ve only done with me.”

Interesting.

Jealousy isn’t healthy, Lena knows. And she knows that Kara knows. But when Kara lets that little spark of possessiveness shine through, it stirs something deep inside Lena that begs to be let loose.

Something that sort of wants to be roughed up a little.

“What if,” Lena starts, tugging at Kara’s belt, “We do that tonight? Something I’ve never done with anyone else.”

There’s something she’s been thinking about regularly for years, something that’s slipped into her mind with increasing frequency the bigger their collection of toys gets – something she’s always wanted to try, really, but had difficulty bringing up.

And now, with Kara nodding and looking at her like she needs to _give_ more than anything in the world, might be the perfect time.

“Okay,” She says, taking a breath. “I want to go down on you.”

Kara frowns, her head tilting adorably. “We…do that all the time?”

Lena swallows. _Now or never._

“I want to go down on you with the strap-on. I want you to – use my mouth.”

Kara’s eyes widen. It’s clear that she wasn’t expecting that, and she’s adjusting to it before Lena’s eyes while Lena tries not to let her nerves ruin the moment. It’s something they’d discussed as a possibility years ago, when Kara found Lena’s not-so-secret blog, but Kara had never brought it up, and Lena had never been brave enough to do so either.

“You don’t have to,” Lena assures her, fear catching in her chest. “It’s just – I thought I’d ask –“

But Kara stops her with a firm hand wrapped around the back of her neck. It works like a charm and Lena relaxes, practically putty in Kara’s skilled hands. There’s an encouraging curiosity in Kara’s eyes, and they flit down to Lena’s mouth and back up before she smiles. It’s slow, and confident, and devastating.

“Undress me?”

With that question, soft but with a hint of command, every nerve in Lena’s body relaxes.

Kara’s got her.

Kara’s shirt is crisp and pressed, the fabric rustling as Lena’s unsteady hands press into it. Her _special meeting shirt_, Kara has always called it - the one that makes her feel the most confident in unfamiliar situations. A good luck charm.

The sound of every button slipping free seems louder than it should be, and Lena’s pulse roars in her ears as she works each one until the shirt hangs open. She can see Kara’s blue sports bra, can see the band of her boxer briefs peeking up over the waist of her chinos. The shirt is still tucked into Kara’s pants, and Lena has to tug at it to pull it out.

All the while, Kara watches her.

Kara drops her hand from back of Lena’s neck, but she makes no move to help with the undressing – instead she lets the shirt drift from her shoulders, falling to the floor to inevitably get wrinkled, and puts her hands on her hips with that smirk that always makes Lena’s knees a little weak.

Lena’s hands are shaking a little by the time they land on Kara’s belt buckle. The jingle of the metal and the cool slide of the leather through the belt loops makes her shiver, and Kara’s abs twitch at the little _snap_ it makes when it pulls free. A reminder that Kara is just as in this as she is, and one that finally makes her weak knees buckle. She slides to the floor, dragging her mouth along Kara’s exposed belly as she goes – and when her lips hit warm fabric, she feels the desperation hit her all at once.

The shakiness in her hands turns to desperate clumsiness when she wrestles with the pants zipper, practically ripping them as she tugs them down Kara’s legs with her boxers. She presses her face into Kara’s pelvis, her mouth watering at the heady smell of her. She wants so much – she wants to press her tongue into Kara right now, and she wants Kara to get into a harness and fuck her, and she wants to take that strap into her mouth, she just _wants_ –

Kara makes the decision for her. She steps out of her pants and moves towards the dresser, pulling her bra up and over head as she goes – but when Lena reaches back to unzip her own dress, Kara holds up a hand to stop her.

“Not yet.”

Lena’s heart pounds all the harder, and she lowers her arm with a hard swallow and a nod.

Kara’s smile is slow and electric. She eases the lower drawer open and removes the box within, the one whose size they had to upgrade to accommodate all of their new purchases.

“Which one should I use?” Kara muses, running her fingers over the row of toys available to them. Her mood is completely gone, now, and Lena is as overjoyed as she is mercilessly turned on. “Want to help me choose?”

Lena stays where she is. On her knees, dressed and ruffled, waiting.

“I want you to decide.”

She can hear Kara’s breath catch from across the room. The calm demeanor cracks a bit, and Kara grabs a toy and a harness and buckles herself into it while Lena watches, her tongue feeling heavy in anticipation.

Lena feels more clumsy than she’s ever been in her life, but in the end she ends up kneeling before the foot of the bed with Kara sitting above her. Her clothes are still on, the strap stands at attention in front of her, and Kara’s warm hand is cupping the side of her face in an attempt to guide her through a sudden, unexpected bout of anxiety.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Lena asks for the third time, and Kara sighs.

“Lena. I told you when we first started this, I’d try anything you wanted. _Anything_. And this?” Kara gestures at the scenario – Lena on her knees in front of Kara on the bed, the toy jutting from Kara’s pelvis. “This isn’t that extreme.”

“It’s not exactly vanilla,” Lena says, biting her lip. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to do something just because I want it.”

Kara’s face softens.

“Babe, if you don’t want to do this now, it’s completely fine. We can do something that isn’t so unfamiliar. But trust me. I want this.” Kara is the calm one, suddenly, her previous anxiety forgotten in the face of Lena’s.

“Okay. Okay. I –“ Lena swallows, looking at the length that sits more or less at her face level. Her fingers find Kara’s ankle, a piece of warm skin she can wrap her nervous hand around, flexing and then releasing.

“I want it too.”

She wants it so badly, in fact, that she can’t articulate it in words. Rather than keep running herself around in circles, Lena follows the trail of her desire to the ‘x’ on the map – she wraps a fist around the firm base, and takes Kara into her mouth.

Kara, clearly expecting more lead-up, lets out a strangled groan when Lena immediately bobs her head forwards, taking half the considerable length on the first pass and pressing it firmly into Kara’s clit. It’s rivalled only by Lena’s almost louder whimper at the sensation of it against her tongue, nudging her throat, at the stretch of her mouth around the girth of it – she’s so close to Kara’s cunt that she can smell it, can almost imagine she tastes it on the warm silicone. It makes her mouth water even more than the intrusion itself.

It’s exactly what she’d hoped it would be. She’s thought about this so many times, brought herself to desperate orgasms imagining it - now that it’s happening, she wants to _savour_. Wants to remember every moment, in case it doesn’t happen again.

“Lena, oh my god,” Kara whimpers, watching the whole thing unfold from her place propped up on her elbows. Lena hums happily around the toy, and her eyes lock with Kara’s as she groans again.

“God, how is that so fucking _hot_ –“

Lena has asked herself the same question a hundred times, never quite coming up with an answer. But Kara is clearly enjoying it, and god knows Lena can feel her own clit twitching with her pounding heartbeat, so she follows her instincts. She slips a thumb under the harness to press into Kara’s clit, and the result is delightful.

Kara lets out a strangled groan, her elbows giving out under her body. She flops on the mattress, her hands pressed over her eyes as if she can’t handle the visual – but Lena taps her free hand on Kara’s thigh.

Kara’s eyes snap open again. She must see on Lena’s face that she needs the eye contact, the connection, because she nods and pulls herself back up. A hand sinks back into Lena’s hair, and Kara’s thighs start to shake.

When Lena pulls back a little to swallow and breathe, a string of saliva stretches from the slick tip of it to her mouth; and she’s only just processed how fucking _hot_ a visual it is from her perspective when Kara groans, her hand in Lena’s hair finally taking initiative and pulling her back.

She opens her mouth, and surrenders.

Kara still lets Lena take the lead, despite the firm hand on the back of her head - so Lena indulges her instinct to tease. She goes slow, probably painfully slow for Kara, but for her its fucking _bliss_. Letting Kara slide in and out of her mouth at a pace where she can feel every contour, can taste every inch, all the while with Kara whining at the visual and trying not to rut into her mouth like an animal. The silky heat of her under the harness, the way she bucks into the pressure of Lena’s thumb. Watching Kara struggle is enough to make Lena’s toes curl in her pantyhose.

She can feel the knees of them wearing through. She’s going to have rug burn in a major way, and that just stokes the flame hotter.

“Talk to me,” Lena gasps, already strung out and desperate for anything Kara will give her. It’s been barely a few minutes, and she’s going out of her mind.

“_God_,” Kara nods breathlessly. “Okay. Fuck.”

Lena takes Kara deep in her throat again and hums her approval, and Kara continues in low, breathy tones.

“God, your mouth – looks so good,” Kara says, the words coming out in a rush. Her hips twitch when Lena presses harder on her clit in time with her movements. “_Feels_ so good. I love watching you do this for me.”

That pulls a genuine moan out of Lena, and the full-body shudder the words evoke almost makes her pull away. Only sheer determination keeps her on task, but she can hear her own desperation. _I love watching you do this for me._ Kara likes this, she likes watching it happen, _likes_ how it feels. She can feel her own legs aching to spread, to bare her cunt, even if there’s nothing that can grant her relief.

“Do you like that?” Kara asks, and the question is achingly genuine even in this intense a situation. “What do you need from me?”

Lena, who has been beyond words for some time now, can only really manage one.

“Rougher.”

Kara’s whole demeanour shifts. The uncertainty disappears, and with slowly increasing confidence, she mercilessly fucks Lena’s mouth.

It is absolutely, unequivocally the best-case scenario. She gets what she wants with none of the power, none of the doubt - just desire, a delightfully aching jaw, and _need_ as she witnesses Kara’s slow, spiralling loss of control. It starts with the grip on her hair tightening just to the point of discomfort, a line she’s hardly ever been able to get Kara to toe for fear of hurting her – and it peaks when Lena looks up to meet Kara’s eyes, letting the toy slide in and out of her mouth as she very intentionally reaches a hand down to press against her own clit under her dress.

The pressure on her clit isn’t quite enough to get her off, but Kara’s reaction is. The blonde’s thrusts get jerky and uneven, and her voice goes high in the way it always does when she’s about to come.

“Lena, _fuck_, I’m – press harder, and I’m gonna come in your mouth –“

If Lena were capable of rational thought beyond _fuck yes please so good_, she’d think it’s almost not fair the way that phrase triggers her. Immediately she’s tipping into a shaky orgasm, her thumb moving harder in the tight circles she knows Kara likes while her left hand finally tears enough of a space in her nylons that she can rub sloppily at her own clit through her underwear.

It’s a new, intense kind of relief that only comes from submission. She has no room to worry, nor does Kara. There’s no jealousy here, no self-doubt – just love and desire, a place where they can both let go. Focus on breathing and Kara’s slowing thrusts and their mutual pleasure, which is already petering off into a need for _more_.

She lets the strap slide from her mouth easily, stretching out her stiff jaw and rubbing her tongue over the abused inside of her mouth, taking stock of the sensations while Kara slumps against the bed and lets her head tip back, breathing hard.

Even with the soreness of her jaw Lena is loath to let Kara get too far away. She could easily go for another round – but she also really fucking needs Kara inside her, and sometimes sacrifices must be made.

On trembling legs Lena finally stands, and she lets Kara gaze at her for a moment. She can only imagine what she looks like – her long hair mussed by Kara’s hands, lipstick smudged, mascara streaked from the watering of her eyes – but Kara looks at her with pure desire, full stop. She sits up slowly, reaches up and drags her thumb across Lena’s lower lip. Without hesitation Lena pulls it into her mouth, sucking and then nipping on the wet skin – and then Kara is moving, pulling her into a hard kiss and pushing her dress up, grinding the wet strap into her.

And Lena responds in kind. She pushes Kara until she’s situated further down on the bed, her hands going behind her to hold herself up – and then Lena climbs onto her lap, rucks her dress up past her thighs, and grinds down against the thick length of it.

“_Jesus_, Lena,” Kara whimpers as it presses hard into her clit. “_God_ –“

She wants it inside her. More than anything she wants to be filled, wants the give and the _stretch_, and Kara seems to be on her wavelength judging by the way she tugs Lena’s dress out of the way and tries to line it up. But her nylons are in the way, the stupid restrictive garment she decided to wear in today’s unseasonably cold weather, and she’s ready to burn every single pair in her closet if it means these ones will get out of the _fucking way_ –

There’s a loud _rip_, and suddenly she can feel the thick head nudging insistently at her cunt. Kara ripped them, and she’s trying to get inside her with so little finesse that you’d think she’d never done this before, but for some reason the unsuccessful and frustrated passes she makes in her desperation are working for Lena even better than confident skill.

She’s rendered Kara so mindlessly horny that she can’t even do a simple task.

With that thought Lena tugs her underwear to the side, guides the head to its place, and sinks down onto the strap like it belongs inside her.

It’s a challenge, Lena will admit. The toy they’re using is _not_ small, and taking such a big one in this particular position isn’t easy. But she’s so primed by the last 10 minutes, so fucking _ready_, that it’s the best challenge she’s ever taken on. It’s only when every inch is finally inside her and her thighs touch Kara’s again that she relaxes, letting the feeling of Kara filling her to the brim wash over her.

“So good,” Kara murmurs against her mouth, her hands slipping under Lena’s dress to grab her ass in two handfuls. “Taking me so good.”

Lena grinds down instinctively once, twice, and on the third she can feel Kara lift her hips up by force before she sinks back down – and then she’s lost, riding Kara for all she’s worth. Kara lunges forward, tugging at the shoulders and neckline of Lena’s dress until her breasts spill out, and then pushes her bra up impatiently – it practically eliminates Lena’s arm movement, but Kara’s mouth is hot on her nipples and it’s enough to make her forget. It doesn’t matter – none of it matters except for the length inside her, the tongue on her chest sending jolts of feeling to her clit, and the big, rough hands that are now slamming her hips down over and over. It’s the kind of zero-to-sixty pace she needs, a hard gallop to an orgasm she can already see on the horizon.

“Come for me,” Kara is gasping into her chest, letting Lena’s nipple slip out of her mouth so she can bite at the soft skin beside it. “Come all over me, Lena, please, I want to be _soaked_ in you –“

Kara has _never_ said that before, and Lena is following her instructions before she can prepare herself. It strikes with so little warning that she doesn’t have time to try to hold herself back – it’s a cresting wave coming out of nowhere, and she’s gasping her orgasm into Kara’s mouth as she comes in a gush all over her wife’s lap.

She isn't sure how long it takes before she's fully aware of herself again, but it's solidified when Kara collapses onto her back with Lena on top, her face happily buried in Lena’s chest. Lena moves to dismount, to roll off and cease Kara’s suffocation, but Kara holds her fast. She does at least manage to get Kara’s face buried in her neck instead, and she smiles at the way Kara is obviously catching the breath she’d been holding.

This, Lena thinks, might be the start of a new addition to their regular repertoire. A fucking _wonderful _one. She wants to do this exact thing, about 100 times.

“I love you so much,” Lena murmurs, and she can feel Kara’s heavy breath on her neck getting a little ragged. She puts every ounce of genuine emotion she can into her next statement, determined to make Kara _feel_ it. “You’re _everything_. You always have been.”

“I’m sorry,” Kara mumbles, her voice quavering, and Lena squeezes her shoulders tight.

“It’s all right, darling. I get jealous too, sometimes.”

“You do?” Kara’s voice is small and vulnerable, so different from how it was just a few moment earlier, and Lena chuckles.

“When you first started working with Nia, I was a bit worried you were going to trade me in for a younger model.”

“_Nia_ –“ Kara sputters, finally revealing her face in indignation over the idea. “She’s so young! She’s like my sister!”

“And Andrea did something terrible to me, over 15 years ago. And three years later, you came along and mended my heart. Jealousy isn’t rational, and it’s a natural feeling – but it’s one we should both realize is unnecessary.” Lena is gentle, but firm. As enjoyable as this experience was, she knows that the thread of self-doubt that inspired it needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.

“Promise?” Kara asks, and Lena nods, cupping her sweaty face. She runs a thumb over Kara’s cheekbone, counting the tiny, pale freckles there. The ones most people don’t ever get close enough to see. She treasures every single one.

“I choose you, Kara. I chose you when we got together, and when you proposed, and on our wedding day, and every day since. I choose to share my life with _you_, and I will continue to do so until the end of my days.”

Kara looks up at her in utter adoration, her eyes wet and soft. She swallows carefully, and Lena brushes a stray tear from her cheek as she answers.

“I love you too. I – I promise this won’t happen again.”

Lena shrugs, aiming to lighten the mood. “I mean, if it happens again with results like this? Maybe I wouldn’t mind. Once or twice.”

Thankfully, Kara laughs. She clasps her hands around Lena’s back, squeezing her tight and keeping her in place. “I’ll keep that in mind. And, Lena?”

“Mm?”

“I really liked that. I mean, like – the whole – oral, thing. A _lot_. I really want to do it again, sometime. Maybe lots of times.” Kara is blushing furiously as she says it, more furiously than Lena would assume coming from a woman who just ordered Lena to squirt in her lap.

“I’ll keep _that_ in mind,” Lena replies, practically glowing with satisfaction, and Kara nuzzles back into her neck happily.

Now that the hard work is over, Lena is able to take stock of everything else. Her whole body is wonderfully sore, from her thighs all the way up to her jaw. She can still feel the pleasant hum of her orgasm in the back of her mind, and –

Her knees are wet.

“Kara,” Lena groans, reaching a hand down to feel what she now knows is a massive, encompassing wet spot in the centre of the mattress. “Did you have to make me come like that? The bed is _soaked_.”

Kara huffs into her chest. “I like it when you come like that.”

“I do too, but now we can’t sleep here.”

There’s a pause, and then Lena can feel Kara’s grin against her skin.

“Worth it. Guest room tonight?”

Lena sighs good-naturedly, finally easing the strap out of her sore cunt and rolling directly onto the wet spot. The movement of the toy makes a few sparks run up her spine again, and it improves her mood greatly.

“I’ll put the sheets in the laundry. We _really_ need a mattress cover.”

After that, PTA meetings become much more bearable.

Kara still gets that little streak of possessiveness when Andrea is around, but it’s more performative than anything, more to annoy the PTA president and make Lena hot than it is a real feeling of jealousy. Perhaps some part of both of them wants Lena’s ex to notice, even. But after what they shared, Lena doesn’t know if Kara is even capable of being jealous anymore.

Smug, though? Kara manages that just fine.

It’s completely surreptitious touches, at first. A harmless handhold in Lena’s lap turned into an oppourtunity to press down strategically, Kara’s hand on her shoulder moving to press against her throat before moving away. A hint of what’s to come later that night. A tease, just obvious enough for Andrea to sometimes notice and falter in her presentations, and Lena to always end up hot and bothered.

And then it moves on to texts, seeing whose face will break first while detailing all the dirty things they want to do to each other. They always manage to keep from throwing themselves at each other until they get home – at least, until Kara comes to a meeting with their favourite strap under her pants, and Lena drags her to the janitor’s closet for a quickie during the coffee break.

After that, the floodgates are open.

And, the morning of the very last meeting of the school year, a package arrives at Lena’s office marked clearly with Kara’s handwriting. Thankfully she opens it with the door closed, because what she pulls out of the box is a pair of black panties, with a visible bullet-sized insert sewn in.

A vibrator. Kara sent her vibrating underwear.

There’s a note under the fabric, and it makes Lena tense with anticipation.

** _Wear these tonight. I’ll have a pair on, too – I can’t wait to see who can last longer. Love you!_ **

It’s sealed with a kiss, and Lena slips the panties on in her executive bathroom. The bullet rests against her already-swollen clit, and she takes a few deep breaths before she emerges again. She can do this. She can absolutely outlast Kara. Kara is much more sensitive to vibrators than she is. It’s completely possible.

Lena loses.

The vibration starts the minute they sit down in their usual spot near the back, clearly sourced from a remote in Kara’s pocket, and it takes everything in her not to cry out and writhe in the middle of the auditorium. She rides out her orgasm silently, her grip white-knuckled on the edge of her chair while the rest of the parents in the auditorium discuss next week’s bake sale.

Kara is terribly self-satisfied when she volunteers to bring gluten-free cupcakes, and Lena finally decides that perhaps the PTA isn’t so bad after all.

* * *

When summer vacation starts, Lena finds herself more excited for it than she’s ever been before. Usually summer is all about finding child care for Conner – organizing her schedule and Kara’s or asking Eliza so that someone is always home with him, or organizing day-camps at the rec centre. But this year, Conner is going to his very first sleep-away camp. He was so excited to go, with half his school friends going to the same one, and it’s located a few hours upstate. Conner will be sleeping in cabins, swimming in lakes, and roasting marshmallows, and Lena and Kara will be alone in the house for a whole, blessed month.

It’s been years since they’ve had more than a weekend together, let alone almost thirty days. Lena can hardly comprehend all the time they’ll have on their hands, but there’s an unmistakeable air of excitement when they drop him off.

For the rest of the day, things chug along as normal. They run a few errands, have a nice lunch at Kara’s favourite sushi place, and take the scenic way home. The knowledge is there, that without Conner at home they have free reign to do whatever they please, but they both seem to be delighting in the drawing-out of it. The _anticipation_, neither mentioning a thing but both knowing it’s coming.

Part of which, apparently, is Kara lovingly cleaning the pool she and Conner had banded together to beg Lena for last summer. It takes up half the yard, but Lena has to admit, she’s come to appreciate it. Conner and his friends have a blast in it in the hot months, it’s nice to take a refreshing dip after a long day; and best of all, she gets to watch Kara in a bikini and swim trunks flexing and straining to scoop out all the debris with a net a few times a week.

It’s warming her up even more than it would usually, today. Whether it’s the mid-day cocktail she’s sipping or the understanding that there is no longer an 8 year old in the house to interrupt them, she’s not sure – but as she watches Kara fuss with a particularly stubborn clump of leaves, her arms on prominent display, she’s hit with an urge that she sees no reason to stifle.

A few years ago, she would have resisted with every fiber of her being. But, now?

“Oh, pool boy?” Lena calls, sliding her sunglasses down her nose playfully. Kara turns, wiping her brow and smiling slowly at the tone.

“…you called?” She says, a hint of a joke in her tone, but Lena can tell. If she gives her an inclination, Kara will follow the bait.

God, she loves her wife.

“I think you missed a spot,” Lena continues. Kara’s eyebrows raise, and she leans on the pole of the net in a way that would be casual if Lena couldn’t see the effort she’s putting into flexing.

“Oh? Where?”

“Right there.” Lena points delicately at the shallow end of the pool with a toe, but Kara’s gaze doesn’t follow where she points – it stays on her calf as it comes back down to rest on the lounge chair. And it gets sharper when Lena’s thighs part, slowly. Intentionally. Only a tiny barrier of fabric keeps Kara’s eyes from her bare cunt, but she can feel the heat of it even so.

Kara swallows. Her hands flex on the handle, and she nods.

“Do you…want me to clean it up? Miss Luthor?”

A shiver runs from Lena’s head all the way to the balls of her feet at the use of the title. It’s not usually something that gets her going – it reminds her of work, generally – but right now, it’s enticing in a way she can’t explain.

“What do I pay you for, if not a spotless pool?”

Kara seems to take that as a confirmation. Her nervousness eases, and she grins in a young, cocksure way that reminds Lena of when they met, when Kara was just a towheaded reporter writing an article about L-Corp and Lena had only just taken over from her brother. She had only just broken up with Jack, her flimsy last-ditch attempt at heterosexuality after Andrea had broken her heart, and Kara had been a balm even in the first few seconds of their meeting.

Attraction had crackled between them then, wreaking havoc in Lena’s life, and it still does 12 years later.

And then Kara abandons the net, and climbs onto the recliner.

“You’re being very presumptuous, Miss Danvers,” Lena says breathlessly, as Kara’s sun-warmed skin presses into her own. “I _hired_ you to clean my pool.”

“Well, it did say ‘_and other tasks as needed’_ in the job description,” Kara murmurs against her neck. Her mouth is already at work, nipping little sparks of pain down Lena’s throat, and the cocktail is abandoned in the grass. Kara presses in firm, and Lena’s legs part further. “Maybe I’m fishing for a raise. I mean, minimum wage? Really?”

Lena snorts, breaking character to smack Kara in the shoulder as the blonde giggles into her collarbone. “You’re terrible. Such a bad employee.”

“Yes, but I’m the bad employee who’s about to fuck you in broad daylight where all the neighbours could hear.”

That hits Lena with an eagle-eyed shot between the legs. The yard is fenced in, but it isn’t soundproof, and Kara is going to fuck her right here. _God_.

Lena hooks a leg around Kara’s hips to pull her closer, pressing herself into taut muscle.

“Then you’d better do it, before your shift ends,” Lena murmurs, biting down hard on Kara’s lower lip until she hears her breath catch. “I don’t pay overtime unless you break my record.”

“Challenge accepted,” Kara growls, and the next half-hour of Lena’s life is spent with a calloused hand pressed tight over her mouth, trying not to make a sound as Kara fucks her blind.

They don’t break their overall record until Kara scoops her up and carries her inside, pinning her to the bed and making use of their toybox, but five silent orgasms in the backyard in under 30 minutes is certainly a new accomplishment as well.

Kara’s light snores are a soothing backdrop to Lena’s gentle thoughts as she stretches languorously, draping herself over Kara’s warm body on top of the duvet. Once they’ve had a nap, and maybe a snack and some Gatorade, Lena has a whole month’s worth of activity to plan. And, who knows - maybe with a whole day of dedicated work, Kara can even break through the glass ceiling of 9 orgasms.

Lena has faith in them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god this took me 100 years but it's DONE, pls enjoy my surprise thesis on re-connection in long term relationships and HAPPY PRIDE 
> 
> Also disclaimer don't wear a plug for more than 2-3 hours it's not good for you

“Mom?”

“Hmm?” Kara says absent-mindedly, halfway through typing a sentence and only half listening. She can hear Conner sigh, but she also needs to complete this thought and several others in a coherent fashion before 9pm, or her new boss will make her life a living hell.

What Cat was doing hiring Snapper, Kara has no idea. But he’s been putting pressure on the journalist staff like never before, and more often than not it means working until midnight these days.

“When will Momma be home?”

Conner sounds despondent. Kara pauses in her work, seized with sudden guilt as she looks at his morose face across the kitchen island.

The truth is, Kara has no idea when Lena will be home. L-Corp was rocked by a mild scandal about three months ago – an ex-employee leaked an unfinished tech project, and the resulting wave of people attempting to use and capitalize on it before it was safe meant that people got hurt. No matter how much Kara tries to reassure her, Lena seems to feel that it’s her own personal responsibility to both fix the company’s image and alter the technology to be safer; and while Kara understands, they hardly have time to spend with Conner or each other these days. Lena works until all hours, sometimes sleeping at the office and falling back to her old habits out of stress, and with her own new boss and responsibilities Kara is hardly home enough herself to try to fix it.

Kara scoots her chair closer, putting a comforting hand over Conner’s. “I’m not sure, sweetie. She had to work late tonight.”

“She works late every night,” Conner grumbles, tugging his hand away and turning back to his homework. “I practically live with Grandma.”

Kara tries not to flinch. She knows he isn’t trying to hurt her – he just misses Lena, like Kara does. But he’s right.

“She has to,” Kara says gently, trying to reassure herself as much as her son, and Conner screws his mouth up into a twist in a way that Kara knows he got from her. Lena has commented on it more than once, always with a fond expression, and it makes Kara wish more than ever that she was here.

As if Conner has read her mind he sighs, tapping his pencil on the page of his workbook.

“I miss her.”

Kara smiles sadly, throwing a one-armed hug around his shoulders and kissing the top of his ruffled hair.

“I do too, kiddo.”

The truth in her voice seems to make him feel better. He goes back to his homework, and Kara tries her best to get back into the swing of her article – but after Conner’s admission, the only thing she can think about is how hard the last few months have been.

Ever since things went south at L-Corp, it hasn’t just been their physical intimacy that’s disappeared. It’s been _all_ intimacy. In fact she’s hardly seen Lena at all since this all started – Lena leaves before Kara wakes up, and is often home past midnight if she comes home at all. The most contact she has with her wife is a kiss on the forehead when she leaves in the morning and the occasional mid-day text message, and it’s starting to approach touch starvation.

After the fifth time reading the exact same sentence in her article, Kara finally saves the file and exits the document. For tonight, Snapper can go fuck himself. Kara needs some quality time with her wife.

“You know what?” Kara says, shutting her laptop decisively. “I’m going to go pick her up, so she doesn’t fall asleep at the office again. Will you be okay if I drop you off with Auntie Alex for a while?”

“I’m eight now, you know. I can stay home alone for an hour.”

“I know, I know, you’re practically an adult. Pack up your homework, okay?”

Conner grumbles about having to pack up and move locations, but she can see a little bit of his brightness return at the idea of having his mom home early from work. There’s a skip in his step when she drops him off with Kelly, and there’s a skip in Kara’s when she stops to grab some dinner to bring with her.

Lena’s secretary is gone for the night when she steps out of the elevator, it being 8pm, and under the steel door Kara can see a soft light betraying its occupants’ whereabouts. Steeling her nerves, Kara knocks lightly and pushes the door open.

The office she finds beyond is almost unrecognizable. Lena generally keeps her spaces clean unless she’s in a spiral, and the clutter on every surface of the room right now betrays exactly how stressed she is. Papers are scattered across the desk, Lena’s blazer and shoes are haphazardly discarded near the couch, and Lena herself is on the floor. Her knees are folded underneath her as she squints down at two tablets and several file folders, tapping her stylus against her lip.

It reminds Kara of the days before they were even a couple. When they were just best friends hopelessly in love with each other, and Kara would knock on Lena’s office door to bring her the breakfast she inevitably skipped before she headed to an early morning interview only to find the brunette asleep at her desk on top of a pile of papers, or laid out across the couch with a computer on her stomach. Lena always tended towards unhealthy working habits, but Kara had managed to coax her out of it, especially once Conner came around.

Apparently, this whole situation has triggered some kind of relapse.

“Lena?” she says softly, stepping into the room, and she jumps when Lena startles almost violently and drops her tablet with a loud _crack_.

“_Jesus_, Kara!” Lena snaps, a hand pressed to her chest as she looks up at her with wide eyes. “Don’t sneak up on me like that! What are you doing here?”

“I didn’t sneak up,” Kara says quietly, trying her best not to feel wounded at her wife’s tone. She taps on the door, before stepping away from it and towards Lena. “I knocked.”

Lena looks slightly chagrined. Her hand leaves her chest and instead picks up the tablet - she inspects the crack in the corner, and upon deeming it still functional, sets it down more gingerly and rubs a tired hand over her face.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap, I just wasn’t expecting anyone. I told you I had to work late.”

“I brought dinner,” Kara says hopefully, holding up the takeout bag, but Lena only looks back down at her work.

“I’m not really hungry.”

And then, inexplicably, Kara feels herself starting to cry.

It’s not even that Lena snapped at her. She’s under a lot of pressure, Kara knows that, just as she knows Lena will leave a jumbo box of frosted donuts on the counter for her tomorrow with a genuine apology note. She can be the rock her wife lashes against, at least until this whole thing blows over.

No, what’s making her cry isn’t Lena’s mood. It’s that, even though they’re in the same room for what feels like the first time in weeks, Kara can feel the distance between them like a physical gulf. Lena is still focused on her work, they probably won’t share a bed tonight, and Kara feels suddenly and cripplingly lonely.

It feels like they’re on the precipice of where they used to be, that place of distance and disconnection, and she’s not sure she can handle the possibility of going there again.

“Kara, oh my god. Are you okay?”

Lena is on her feet and cradling Kara’s face in an instant, her own stress seemingly gone in the face of the emotional outburst Kara couldn’t predict. Her thumbs rub away tears Kara hadn’t realized were falling, and a small sob claws its way out of her chest before she can stop it.

“I’m fine –“ she tries to rasp, but Lena tugs her down to the floor to sit among the papers anyways, still looking deeply concerned.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” Lena says, her voice quavering. “I know I shouldn’t have, I’ve been _so_ stressed but you don’t deserve –“

“It’s not that.”

Lena’s brow furrows.

“It isn’t?”

“No, it’s –“ Kara hesitates, sniffling and wiping at her nose with the sleeve of her shirt. “I’m scared, Lena.”

“You’re scared?” Lena says. She’s still holding Kara’s face in her hands, her thumbs gently brushing Kara’s cheeks. “Scared of what, love?”

The intimacy of the gesture is calming, as is the familiar pet name. For the moment Lena is out of her own world and firmly here with Kara. Kara can feel the warm metal of Lena’s wedding ring on her jaw, and it grounds her enough to speak her mind.

“I’m scared we’re drifting apart again.”

Lena’s face softens into understanding, and she presses their foreheads together as the source of Kara’s fear washes over her.

“Oh, _Kara_.”

“We’ve been in this place before, and we worked so hard to get out of it, and I’m so scared that – that we’re going to – I can’t _lose you_ again –“ Kara can feel her chest tightening, her breath leaving her in the overwhelming wave of emotion Lena’s presence brought, and Lena immediately moves in to soothe.

“Hey, _hey_, come here,” Lena croons, pulling her in for a kiss. It’s long and deep, and Kara’s face is still wet but Lena doesn’t seem to care. She doesn’t let Kara pull away, kissing her deeper and deeper by the second and tugging on her collar until they’re lying flush together on the tile floor.

“Aren’t you busy?” Kara manages to gasp, while Lena is fumbling with the buttons on her shirt. “You don’t have to –“

“I want to,” Lena counters, finally tugging at the last two buttons until they snap and scatter. “I miss you. I _want_ you. Please?”

Even now, as Lena is slipping her hands under Kara’s open shirt and spreading them over her back, Kara can’t help the way that doubt gnaws at her stomach. Doubt, and guilt.

“I don’t want you to feel like you _have_ to just because I’m upset,” Kara protests, holding firm over Lena’s body in an impromptu plank. Lena tugs at her collar again, but Kara doesn’t budge.

“Darling,” Lena says, her voice gentle but firm, “I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. You know that.”

Kara finally lets Lena pull her down, pressing their bodies together, but she can’t help but get one last confirmation.

“You’re sure?”

Lena moves her hands from Kara’s collar, sliding them up to cup either side of her neck and pull her into a heartfelt kiss.

“I _always_ want you,” She murmurs against Kara’s lips, and she can feel crimson lipstick smearing across her own mouth. It’s a familiar feeling, and one that never fails to light a fire in her. “You just reminded me how much.”

Lena’s nails dig into the back of her neck, and finally every fibre in Kara’s body melts into the contact. It’s a blessed relief having Lena’s hands on her again, having lips dragging down her neck with intent, and as Lena slides a hand down to tug at Kara’s belt buckle she’s hit with a sudden, intense _need_ like never before.

Gently she grabs Lena’s wrists, pressing both of them into the floor with a single hand and using the other to pull Lena’s thighs apart and slip into the space.

“I want to go first,” Kara says, trying to project the level of her desire into her voice. “I _need_ – I need to give. Please.”

Lena nods, her hands flexing but not struggling against the hold. She hooks a calf around Kara’s waist, and Kara can feel her relaxing. Letting Kara take the reins.

“Okay. Whatever you need.”

Letting all her breath out in a relieved _whoosh_, Kara lets go of Lena’s hands and presses her face into her collarbone. Lena’s warm skin is bare here above the neckline of her blouse, and she takes a few deep, steadying breaths. She can smell perfume and maybe some coffee that Lena spilled on her shirt earlier, undercut by the familiar scent of skin, and it’s comforting enough that she pushes past the surge of emotion.

She can’t fix the things Lena has been working on or repair the rift between them by herself, but she can do one thing. She can take care of her wife.

Really, she should move them to the couch. She can’t get either of them naked on the cold floor without discomfort, and she desperately wants to feel Lena’s skin against hers. But even more desperate is her need to make Lena feel good as quickly as possible, before this moment breaks, and so instead she starts her descent down Lena’s body and ignores the twinge of pain in her joints. She spreads Lena’s thighs with a knee, pulling her blouse free from the waist of her skirt to trail open-mouthed kisses over her belly, and Lena’s hands leave their spot over her head to land in Kara’s hair. Perhaps anticipating what Kara is planning on doing Lena doesn’t undo Kara’s ponytail, but she does loosen it, sinking a hand into the strands to scratch at Kara’s scalp in a way that makes her want to purr.

“Kara,” Lena gasps, as Kara impatiently pushes her skirt up to bunch around her waist. Her legs spread wide, her hand tightening in Kara’s hair. “_Yes_.”

“Say it again,” Kara whispers fervently, pulling Lena’s underwear off and abandoning it the moment it’s free of her ankles. She can’t explain why exactly she needs to hear Lena say her name more than she need air at the moment, but she does. “Please.”

Lena, perfect as always, knows exactly what she means without asking.

“Kara,” She murmurs, as Kara herself kisses a reverent path down her inner thigh. “Kara, _Kara_ –“

She cuts off with a gasp when Kara reaches her destination, hooking a leg around her shoulder and digging in with her heel. But even so, it’s enough.

Lena is totally unshaven, a testament to how stressed she’s been, and Kara relishes the texture of it on her lips as she applies her mouth where Lena needs it. She noses through the wiry hair, laying a kiss on Lena’s clit – and Lena doesn’t direct her, doesn’t beg or demand. She just opens herself up to Kara’s mouth, letting her take what she needs.

It’s soft, and vanilla, and perfect. Less their usual hunger and need and more pure, distilled affection, the deep love Kara holds being played out across Lena’s skin. Kara is tuned in to Lena’s every minute movement, every twitch and sigh and shift, every bit of her energy directed at reacting to Lena’s needs before she can even think to voice them. The slow pace is everything she needs, and she spends long minutes gently reacquainting herself with Lena’s body until the brunette is arching off the floor, sweaty and trembling, twitching into Kara’s mouth with an uneven cry.

Kara’s eyes are watering before it’s even over.

She was hesitant to move from her place between Lena’s thighs before, but she’s even more so now that she’s openly crying again. It’s not the deep sobs that wracked her before, at least – it’s tears of relief, like the depth of it is too much for her body to contain.

Lena seems to understand. She just strokes Kara’s hair gently as she catches her breath, murmuring affirmations and love under her breath until she can collect herself.

When she finally feels capable of speech again, she presses her forehead into Lena’s belly and mumbles into her pelvis.

“That felt _so_ good.”

“You didn’t even come.” She can hear Lena’s smile in her voice, even if she can’t see it. Kara shrugs, nuzzling further into soft skin. She has a need to be as close as possible, even if it means burrowing into the core of her.

“But I already feel better,” Kara counters, her voice still muffled.

Lena chuckles, and she tugs firmly on Kara’s shirt until she finally abandons her spot and climbs back up Lena’s body. She settles in the crook of Lena’s shoulder, snuggling close and ignoring the coldness of the floor, just for a moment. Lena seems content to do so as well – she just pulls Kara closer, kissing the top of her head.

“I needed this,” she murmurs into Kara’s hair, and the genuine seriousness in her tone makes Kara move to peer up at her.

“Needed what? Me barging into your office and crying on you?” Kara asks, and Lena laughs more deeply. Kara gets a flash of white teeth and double dimples, Lena’s eyes crinkling at the corners with her _real_ laugh, and that more than anything is enough to settle any vestige of worry that still sits in her chest.

“Actually, yes,” Lena says with a happy sigh, looking down into Kara’s face with that soft, open expression Kara loves. “I get myself so worked up, so tied up in knots, and I forget what’s important. You, and Conner. Our family. You made me remember.”

Lena’s eyes are wet too, now, and Kara breaks the moment to draw her into a soft kiss.

“Don’t forget sex,” She whispers, smiling into Lena’s mouth. “Sex is important, too.”

Lena laughs again, throwing her head back and pushing playfully at Kara’s shoulder. “Okay, yes, and sex. Sex is _extremely_ important.”

Kara rolls away with the momentum, giggling as her head slips from Lena’s shoulder and hits the floor, only to be pulled back by the front of her shirt. Lena is still smiling brightly when she settles again, and her expression is one of pure fondness as she strokes Kara’s jaw.

“I’m going to start delegating,” She says, her voice definitive. “There are people I can trust who can do some of this for me. I promise, we won’t drift apart again.”

Lena is true to her word. After that night she reduces her work hours to something more manageable, sharing responsibility with Sam and other trusted execs, and when Conner reaches the end of 3rd grade they’re still going strong. It’s not without roadbumps, by any means - but they make the map together.

* * *

Some roadbumps are bigger than others.

“I have half a mind to pull him out and homeschool him.”

“Babe,” Kara says, clearly trying to keep her tone even, “It’s just standardized testing. Everyone has to do it.”

They might be in a car, waiting for Conner to get out of cello practice, but Kara can clearly see that Lena is pacing the floor spiritually if not physically. She’s gesticulating wildly, expressing her disdain for Conner’s impending mandatory 3rd grade testing, and Kara is just along for the ride.

“_He_ shouldn’t have to do it! Standardized testing is a crock of shit, it doesn’t take into account different learning types and yet it paves his entire future, the fact that they still do it is practically _barbaric_ –“

“Lena!” Kara interrupts, grabbing at Lena’s flailing hands and holding them gently, “_Please_ calm down.”

At Kara’s touch, Lena deflates.

“I just – I want him to have the best life he can,” she says more quietly, and Kara softens at the vulnerability in her voice.

“He will,” Kara assures her, slowly letting her hands go. “He’s going to do fine, and if he doesn’t, that’s okay. Academia isn’t for everyone. And even if he does go that route, third grade testing isn’t going to factor into his college applications.”

Lena drums her fingers on her own thigh, gnawing at her lower lip. The lipstick is long since rubbed off in the midst of her ranting, and Kara wants very badly to kiss it.

“Should we – I don’t know, tutor him? Help him prepare? Or does that make me just like my mother? Hell bent on success at any cost, even if it scars my child and saddles him with lifelong inferiority issues –“ Lena’s voice gets higher and more panicked the longer she lets the train of thought run, and Kara tries her earlier tactic again – this time she slips a hand behind Lena’s head and gently cups the back of her neck, grounding her in the moment through touch. Lena quiets immediately, looking at Kara with wide, wet eyes.

“You are _not_ your mother,” Kara says firmly, maintaining eye contact so that Lena absorbs the sentiment. “Your concern is based on Conner’s wellbeing, not how he reflects on your image.”

It’s been a while since Lena has gone into a parental panic like this. She’s always harboured fears of parenthood, fears that her lack of positive maternal figures will mean her own methods will turn her into the monster that Lillian was, but it had taken only a few weeks of having Conner before her fears started to ease. Now, it seems, the introduction of academics into their son’s life has brought them all roaring back.

“Then why am I _like_ this?” Lena asks, the self-loathing bleeding into her tone. “Why is this bothering me so much?”

“Because you’ve run into something you can’t fix yourself.”

Lena manages a short laugh, wiping at her tears before they can escape. “Are you saying I have control issues?”

“I think that’s well established,” Kara says matter-of-factly. Lena laughs again, and this time her smile reaches her eyes for a moment.

“So, what do I do?” she asks, letting her gaze settle out the windshield. “Just…be stressed until Conner takes the tests? I don’t want my behaviour to make him feel pressured.”

“Maybe you need to focus on things you _can_ control,” Kara suggests, a whole host of ideas starting to take form in her head.

“After what we went through a few months ago, Sam might actually force a vote of non-confidence if I get any more involved at work.”

Kara shrugs, her voice laden with intent. “It doesn’t have to be at work. You can exercise control of _yourself_. And then…give it to someone else.”

“Clearly not, considering I can’t control how I’m acting right – oh,” Lena says, her voice getting breathy as she realizes what Kara means. “_Oh_. You mean -”

“In bed.”

Lena laughs fully, her mood disappearing with Kara’s blunt approach. “Tactful, darling.”

“I mean, we both know you can maintain and relinquish control there, right?” Kara says, her hands flexing on the steering wheel. “Maybe practicing would help.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I have a few ideas,” Kara says, a plan solidifying the more interested Lena looks. “But only if you think it will actually help.”

“…what ideas?”

* * *

**[Lena]: I can’t believe you convinced me to do this.**

Kara grins down at her phone, glancing surreptitiously around the bullpen before she types out a reply to Lena’s text.

** _I hardly had to convince you. You seemed pretty enthusiastic about it this morning_ **

The message serves to remind Kara of exactly what it is that Lena is talking about – namely, the fact that Lena is currently wearing a princess plug at work.

It had been Kara’s idea initially, sure, but the moment she suggested it Lena had been completely on board. She’d been fidgety all night, her energy finally directed into anticipation instead of fixation on Conner’s academics - and this morning when they woke up early to actually put the idea into motion, Lena had been bent over and naked next to the lube dispenser before Kara even got the door locked.

When another message arrives, Kara’s heart rate picks up so swiftly that she’s surprised nobody has noticed.

**[Lena]: This morning I didn’t realize how difficult this would be. I can’t stop thinking about getting home with you.**

Kara’s mouth goes dry. It’s all she’s been thinking about, too, and knowing exactly how tortured Lena must be right now is only making it worse.

** _Me too. Do you want the plug to stay in, or do you want the strap?_ **

There’s a long pause after that message. She can almost feel Lena thinking, all the way across town. But finally those three dots pop up, and Lena’ answer is exactly what Kara was hoping it would be.

**[Lena]: Both.**

Kara exhales shakily. If she hadn’t trouble concentrating before this, she certainly does now. While Lena has taken both Kara’s fingers and a variety of plugs more than once since their first excursion in that department, she hasn’t yet suggested that they try it in combination with classic penetration, and the idea of doing it for the first time has Kara’s palms sweating.

** _I’ll be there soon. Just a little longer, babe_ **

It had taken every last scrap of Kara’s willpower to ease the plug inside her this morning without taking it any further, especially when she could hear Lena chanting whispered pleas into the pillow. But the whole point of the exercise is _control_, so despite every atom of her body screaming at her to sink three fingers into her wife and fuck her until she’s not stressed anymore, she had held back. She got dressed, and watched Lena struggle to do the same, and has spent every second since thinking about what’s coming.

The plan is, Lena will wear the plug for as long as is healthy – until lunch – and then they’ll both take a half-day from work to go home and take care of it. Both of their schedules are already accommodated, the plan is in motion, and all Kara has to do is wait until 1pm before she has a few sweet, childless hours to guide Lena through her current struggle.

When her work phone rings and the caller ID lists Conner’s school, all of the anticipation turns to dread.

When she enters the principal’s office, the first thing she sees is Lena’s back. She’s sitting ramrod straight, her legs clenched together rather than folded, and Kara can see the tension almost quivering in her body. By rights they should be at home right now, in their bed with Kara slowly taking her apart, but instead Conner is slouched in the seat next to Lena with a big red shiner over his left eye.

“Conner!” Kara exclaims, sitting in the seat on his other side and tilting his face up to examine the forming bruise. “What happened, sweetie?”

The principal is the one to answer Kara’s question. “Conner was in a fight today.”

“_What_?” Kara says, looking back and forth between Lena’s stony face and the principal’s frown. “A fight? Conner doesn’t _fight_.”

“I’m sorry, mom,” Conner whispers, his lower lip quivering. Before Kara can ask, the principal has cut in and reached out for a brisk handshake.

“Mrs. Danvers, I’m Mr. Elis,” he says, sitting back in his chair and folding his hands together. Something about his attitude rubs Kara the wrong way in a way she can’t explain. “You can call me Mike. I’ve already laid the situation out to your wife, but the long and short of it is that your son –“

“Now that Kara’s here, why don’t we give Conner a chance to explain his side?”

Lena’s voice is clipped, but it’s enough for Conner to launch into an explanation.

“I don’t mean to, mom, it was – Cory was being a bully, he called my friend a bad name because his mom is Chinese and then said he would beat us up if we told,” Conner babbles, clinging to Kara’s shirt like he’s worried he’s going to be taken away. “And the teachers wouldn’t listen, and then he gave my friend a swirlie and he was going to give me one and so I told him not to and then he said that – that – “ Conner’s voice is failing, big heartbreaking tears rolling down his scared face, and Kara kisses the top of his head.

“What did he say?” she murmurs, and Conner answers after a few sniffles.

“He said that my parents were _dykes_. And then I just got so mad, and he wouldn’t let my friend go, so I hit him.”

Kara can see, in real time, the abject rage that gathers around Lena like a thundercloud. It practically crackles in her eyes, and this _Mike_ has no idea what’s coming.

All Kara can do is put a comforting arm around Conner, and buckle in for the ride.

“This is the sort of thing you’re allowing to happen in your school?” Lena asks, her voice cold and dangerous. Kara knows that voice – it’s the one she uses at work, the one that allowed her to successfully take over her family’s company, clear out the board, and completely redirect it before the age of 25. It’s a voice that Kara knows could bring the world to its knees, if given the opportunity.

Mr. Elis never stood a chance.

“Regardless of the impetus, Conner was still the instigator of the violence –“ he tries to argue, but Lena interrupts. She doesn’t even have to raise her voice to be effective – she’s quiet, but deadly.

“He was defending himself and his friend.”

“We try to teach our students that violence is never the –“

“Do you also teach your students not to hurl slurs at their classmates?” Lena snaps, not letting him finish a sentence. Kara has seen her do this before, years ago when she happened to be visiting Lena at work during a conference call, and she can’t deny that the power behind it still makes her knees a little weak. “Is dunking heads in toilets and making threats not considered violence to you?”

“That’s not what this conversation is about – “

That seems to be the last straw. Slowly and carefully Lena stands to her full height, 6 inch heels included, and looks down on the poor man behind the desk both figuratively and literally. It’s clear that Lena is livid, but she’s also on the attack for another reason – she needs this meeting to be over. Kara can only imagine how distracting it must be to be this close to relief and yet unable to get it, and it affects her more than she’d like to admit.

“If you aren’t going to bring the other child in here and have him disciplined just as harshly for what he did, you aren’t going to punish my son, either,” Lena says, her voice measured and even. To anyone else, she would sound absolutely venomous – but Kara can hear the emotion behind it. Lena is angry, but she’s also worried for their son – and on top of all of that, she’s struggling not to show that she’s been wearing a princess plug for the last several hours in anticipation of being ravaged.

From the outside her façade is pristine, and Kara can’t help the surge of pride she feels at her wife’s self-control.

“Mrs. Luthor –“ Mr. Elis stammers, hurriedly rearranging things on his desk to try and maintain some semblance of control of the situation. Lena doesn’t let him.

“You and I both know that all it will take is a few calls to the right people, and you lose your job for overlooking targeted bullying,” Lena practically growls, leaning forward to plant her palms on the man’s desk and look him dead in the eye. “You’re going to discipline the other child, and in the meantime I’m walking out right now with my son. He’ll see you in school tomorrow.”

There are a few moments of silent stand-off, Lena glaring down and the principal trying valiantly to hold up – but he breaks eventually, his shoulders sagging under the weight of Lena’s disapproval.

“Cory’s father is the Deputy Mayor,” he finally admits reluctantly, and Lena’s smile is positively lethal. Kara could tell from the beginning of the meeting that something had to be holding the man back from taking real action, and clearly this is it. He’s afraid of professional repercussions for punishing the son of a city official.

Lena has won, and she knows it.

“That’s not my problem, is it? My problem is _you_, and your half-assed version of nepotistic punishment.”

Mike can’t even look her in the eye. He stares down at his hands like a scolded child, looking even more chastened than Conner, and under Lena’s scrutiny he caves like a souffle.

“I’ll – I’ll call him in now.”

“Wonderful. Kara?”

Lena whirls in a graceful half-circle and storms into the hallway, her heels clicking furiously, and Kara stands to follow. She takes Conner’s hand in her own and, without sparing a look for the shell-shocked principal, leads him towards the door.

The drive home is almost silent. Kara takes the driver’s seat, and she can see both Lena and Conner fidgeting in her peripheral vision. For entirely different reasons, obviously, but the similarity warms her heart. Almost in unison they fuss with their hands, spreading fingers out and worrying at the palm with a thumb.

It’s Conner that finally breaks the quiet.

“Am I in trouble?” he says from his seat, his tiny voice quavering. Kara immediately takes a hand off the wheel and reaches back to put it on his leg, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“No, honey. You aren’t in trouble, and we understand why you did what you did. Later tonight we’re all going to have a conversation about how we can handle things like this. We’re proud of you. Right, Lena?”

Lena nods, and she manages a real smile at Conner. “You stuck up for yourself and your friend. You aren’t in trouble.”

His relief is obvious. He sags in his seat, and the periodic sniffles she’s heard from his direction since they left die down.

“Okay. Are we going home?”

“You’re going to go to Grandma’s until your Mom and I are done work, and then we’re going to come pick you up,” Kara clarifies, and Lena’s hands pause when she hears the little white lie. “Okay?”

Conner nods, looking somewhat excited for the first time since she stepped into the office today. He gives them both a hard, tight hug when they drop him off, and then Kara attempts to break land-speed records as she races back to the house with a white-knuckled Lena in the passenger seat.

The moment the front door closes, Lena melts like a popsicle. She leans back against it with a whimper, her knees clearly starting to give out, and without hesitation Kara scoops her up as gently as possible and stumbles them both into the bedroom.

Kara expects a mad scramble, when she finally gets them both to the bed. She expects the furious removal of clothing, and for Lena to ask her to get the strap they’ve both been thinking about all day. But Lena just stretches out on her back, holding her hands above her head and waiting. Her legs are spread and her thighs are quivering, Kara can see it under her bunched-up skirt, but she has her eyes firmly closed and her teeth sunk into her lip.

She’s giving Kara control. It hits her deep in her gut, spiralling down to make her throb with want. Lena is giving herself over completely.

With that control in hand, Kara takes the lead. She does scramble to get her clothes off, as well as Lena’s – and when they’re both stripped bare, she tears apart their box of toys looking for the one she knows will suit the moment perfectly. It’s smaller than most, but with the additional penetration of the plug, it’s the best option for their first time doing this.

“Flip over for me?” Kara says distractedly as she fastens the buckles, and Lena complies immediately. She doesn’t scramble to do it like she might usually, but Kara can see why – when she braces her knees and tilts her ass in the air to bare herself to Kara’s gaze, she can see the glittering jewel on the end of the plug sitting proudly where she left it this morning. It’s still slick with lube, and Kara can only imagine how the movement of it throughout the day must have driven her insane.

Kara finishes up the harness as quickly as she can when her hands are shaking with anticipation.

“Look at you,” Kara murmurs, as she slips the toy into the ring and climbs onto the bed to take hold of Lena’s hips. “So beautiful. You’re so ready for me.”

Lena lets out a breathy whimper, which turns into a full-bodied moan when she feels the toy nudging between her legs. She presses herself back into it, clearly looking for friction or fullness, but Kara holds her hips still.

The volume of Lena’s moan at Kara’s iron grip makes it clear that this idea was the right choice.

Kara has to admit – as much as she wants to give her wife relief as soon as possible, part of her loves the teasing. Loves the way Lena reacts when she takes a handful of lube to reapply, when she runs a thumb over the jewel and presses it gently or twists it to create friction. The visual of it is stunning, Lena’s pale skin flushed red from her neck all the way down her back, and the blue gem stands in stark contrast to the skin around it. She can see the way Lena clenches every time she touches it, can hear the tiny, suppressed noises that she’s muffling in the mattress.

She might not be saying it with her words, but Lena is begging to be fucked with every movement of her body.

Even with her attention focused significantly lower, Kara can’t help but notice the way Lena keeps looking back at her. She’s twisting her neck, arching up and grabbing at Kara’s thigh as an anchor, like she can’t get close enough.

Kara knows what she needs. And since it’s something she finds herself wanting too, she wastes no time in suggesting it.

“Do you want to turn over so you can see me?”

She’s hardly finished the question before Lena is nodding, and Kara quickly maneuvers her on the bed until they’re chest to chest. Lena throws one hand over her back and clasps the other behind her neck in a desperate hold, their foreheads pressed together, and the closeness seems to settle her noticeably. Her eyes are wide and dark, all pupil and desire, and Kara savours their shared breath.

“Colour?” Kara asks, and Lena’s answer is only a split second later.

“Green, _so_ green,” Lena gasps, hooking a leg around Kara’s hips. Usually Kara would expect her to press down with it, pull at Kara’s lower back until the toy sinks into her cunt – but she gave control to Kara, and she stays true to their agreement. Her leg is twitching, but it remains still.

When she finally takes initiative and presses into Lena to the hilt, it’s her decision; and the beautiful sob of relief Lena lets out at being filled is enough to make her regret waiting so long.

“You were so great today,” Kara murmurs, smoothing the sweaty hair away from Lena’s forehead as she braces her knees and prepares to fuck her in earnest. “You did perfect.” She’s so deeply, genuinely proud of how Lena handled herself today, and she also knows how badly Lena needs to hear it. What she doesn’t expect is Lena’s reaction.

Her hips jerk _hard_ into Kara’s, her eyes turning wild and wide as she gasps her approval. She looks needier than she has all day, and as Kara starts up a solid rhythm Lena’s nails dig into her skin almost to the point of pain.

The pain only eggs Kara on, and she knows it.

“Yeah?” Lena whines, tilting herself up and into Kara’s thrusts. She’s so wet that there’s zero resistance, just slick openness, and Kara pants her reply into Lena’s neck.

“Yeah, baby. You wore your plug so well, you controlled yourself, and you’re taking me even better –“

“Am I –“ Lena chokes, her entire torso bright red. Her eyes are shut again, and Kara holds herself up to look down at her as much as she can when Lena is clinging to her torso. “Am I –“

“Are you what?”

“Am I being good for you?” Lena whispers in a rush, like it’s a dirty secret.

Kara almost falters. She’s said something of the sort to Lena before, and she responded well, but it’s been a while since Lena has had a specific desire for her like this. It’s clear that it’s taking a lot for Lena to come out and ask it, to request it specifically. She can’t even look Kara in the face, her eyes screwed shut like she’s expecting a rejection.

So Kara picks back up before Lena can notice, and she rolls with it. Going with her instincts has never steered her wrong.

“Fuck, yes, you’re _such_ a good girl.”

The reaction is immediate.

Where Kara’s rhythm had been middling, Lena’s hips suddenly kick into overdrive. She forces Kara into a harder pace with her desperation, coming unhinged at Kara’s use of five little words – and she shows no sign of slowing down. She’s on another plane, and it shows. She’s completely unselfconscious, slamming herself into the strap and spreading herself out for Kara’s gaze.

“Please, please, tell me –“ She whimpers into Kara’s mouth, and Kara can see cathartic tears starting to track down her temples. She needs this in a way that can’t be articulated, and Kara is going to give it to her.

“You’re so good, Lena,” She pants, biting at Lena’s lower lip and tasting salt. “You’re my good girl. Doing exactly what you needed to. Wearing my plug all day. And you’re gonna come for me, aren’t you?”

“Yes!”

“Will you come when I tell you to?”

_“Yes!”_

Kara doesn’t make her wait. She needs to see it almost as badly as Lena needs to experience it, and she can only hold back a few seconds before she’s biting down on her throat and groaning _now, come now, I need you to -_

Lena’s body goes from pliant to taut, snapping up and into Kara’s - and she cries out in a broken scream that cuts off into overwhelmed silence as she comes in pulses all over Kara’s thighs. She lets go in every sense, her head thrown so far back into the pillows that it bends her back in a beautiful arc, and by the time she’s finally spent Kara’s own muscles are trembling with the effort of keeping up.

“God,” Kara whispers, letting her full weight down onto Lena’s trembling body. Her legs are slick, the sheets underneath them soaked through, and she has no capacity to deal with it just yet. “Lena. _God_. I love you so much.”

Lena doesn’t answer. She seems incapable of speaking entirely, even as her breathing evens and the trembling subsides. Kara just lays soft kisses on as much of her skin as she can reach until she happens to hear a tiny, relaxed snore, and she pushes herself up to look at Lena fully.

She’s asleep.

Kara can’t help but laugh. Lena has completely passed out, sprawled across the bed with her arms akimbo now that Kara dislodged them from her back, and her face is relaxed in exactly the kind of bliss Kara was hoping for.

Unfortunately she still has to take the plug out before it causes any harm, and Lena doesn’t seem to want to wake up.

“Lena,” She whispers, slowly easing the strap out and wiggling out of the damp harness. When it hits the floor she reclaims her place, tracing a line across the brunette’s forehead and down the slope of her nose. “Baby, you need to wake up.”

“Ngh. Mmng.”

Kara chuckles again, bringing her hand down to the ticklish spot on Lena’s side. “_Baaaaaby_. Cupcake. Cream puff. _Love bug_. Wakey-wakey.”

The usually-detested nicknames have no effect. Lena just swats the hand away, rolling over and pulling a pillow to her chest in pure contentment.

“Well…shoot,” Kara mutters.

Trying to gently ease the plug out while Lena is dead asleep isn’t ideal, but Kara is nothing if not determined in her aftercare. She figures it out in the end, and she even manages to roll Lena out of the wet spot and swaddle her in blankets to finish out her nap.

She ends up picking Conner up from Eliza’s on her own, and she takes him for ice cream for good measure. She has a good feeling that their important conversation won’t be happening tonight, so she feels the need to at least reinforce that he isn’t in trouble. Her suspicion is confirmed when Lena is still out cold when they get home, so she makes Conner (and herself) some of the secret bag of dino chicken nuggets she has stashed in the downstairs freezer for dinner, and together they watch Moana until he falls asleep on her shoulder in a way he hasn’t done in a long time.

A quick post-bedtime google search later, Kara discovers what a ‘praise kink’ is.

* * *

Conner does great on the tests.

In fact, life progresses very much in the positive as spring bleeds into summer. Lena feels more connected to Kara than ever, Conner is active in his extracurriculars and with a buzzing social life, and he seems to be growing up just as whip-smart as Lena with Kara’s sunny disposition. Lena knows now that without a doubt that even if he had bombed the testing, his life is going to be just fine.

They happily encourage Conner’s social life, acquiescing to every request for sleepovers and hang-outs, putting him in scouts and encouraging him to go on their camping trips over the course of the summer – because it’s important to make sure he’s adjusting properly and making friends, Kara insists, but Lena revels in knowing it’s also because Kara wants nights where they can be uninterrupted.

After the fiasco a few months ago when it had taken Kara coming to her office on the edge of a breakdown to shake her out of her manic work spiral, Lena has put significant effort into curbing her workaholic impulses. A significant part of the process has been delegating work to people she trusts – and since she trusts no one more than Sam, they’ve taken to having working lunches together as much as possible.

What she didn’t expect out of the process was someone with whom she can also commiserate about parenting. Sam is warm and understanding, and with Ruby being 4 years older than Conner, able to relate to the stages she and Kara are going through.

“I have to admit, I’m a little worried,” Lena confesses during one such meeting in late August, her hands going idle over her keyboard as Sam nods in understanding. They’re working together on the couch in Lena’s office, papers spread over most of the surfaces around them, and both of their heels are abandoned on the rug. “Fourth grade is a big step. He’s getting close to middle school, and I’ve read that that’s when kids can start acting out.”

“I worried about Ruby too, when she hit that age,” Sam admits, tucking her bare feet under her. “Everyone was telling me that by the time she was 12 she was going to hate me.”

“And?”

Sam shrugs. “Well, she’s 13 now, and it hasn’t happened yet. We have our rough times, but we take it day by day. I got pretty lucky.”

“Or, you’re an incredible mom,” Lena counters. Sam puts a hand on her chest in mock-flattery.

“Lena, stop flirting. You’re a married woman.”

Lena rolls her eyes. “Shut up.”

Sam just laughs. “How is Kara dealing with everything?”

“Kara is Kara,” Lena says, with an affectionate smile. “Patient, calm, loving. She’s going with the flow. If anything, I think Conner will be okay because of her influence. If it was just me, I’m sure Conner would be a neurotic mess.”

She says it casually, with a tone of lighthearted joking, but Sam frowns at the self-deprecation.

“Lena, you’re a great parent. Anyone can see how much you love him.”

“I grew up with an adoptive mother who thought fear was the best motivator for a 6 year old,” Lena says, turning back to her work to avoid the piercing look Sam is giving her. “Withholding affection was her specialty. You can’t blame me for worrying.”

“Well, judging by all the good you’ve done with this company, going completely against everything your family has done is what you’re best at.”

Lena smiles, and this time it’s genuine. Sam is nothing if not honest, and over the years Kara has taught her that it’s okay to take a compliment.

“Flatterer.”

“I’m just trying to get a free meal,” Sam grins. “Wanna order lunch?”

Lena nods absently, still half-engrossed in financial reports. “Sure. Use my phone, get whatever you want.”

She hears Sam slipping back into her shoes, standing up from the couch. She hears the click of Sam’s heels heading to her desk, where her phone sits face down. She hears Sam pick up the phone, and presumably turn it over to use it.

And then she hears Sam’s sharp intake of breath as she looks at the screen – and all at once, Lena remembers what the last batch of text messages she sent half an hour ago were about, and it feels like all of her organs are exiting her body at once.

Her head snaps up, the world seeming to move in slow motion as she turns to see Sam holding her phone.

“_Wait_!”

But Sam has already read whatever was on the screen. Her eyes are wide as she puts the phone gently back down and steps away, and the second she does Lena throws her laptop aside, darting over to snatch it up and review the damage.

There are three banners on her lock screen, all messages from Kara, continuing their conversation from earlier. The first has a tiny picture attachment, which she hopes to god Sam didn’t look too closely at.

**[Kara]: I’ve been thinking about it since we saw it last week. I don’t know where we’d put it, but I want to tie you to one so bad. Your legs apart, your hands over your head. Completely open to me.**

**[Kara]: I wonder if you could take my fist standing up? **

**[Kara]: I bet you could. You’re always so good for me, aren’t you? I can get all five fingers inside and you still ask for more**

_Fuck_. Lena really needs to turn off message previews.

“Everything going well at home, then?” Sam says, in a slightly strangled voice. There’s a blush dusting her cheeks that Lena doesn’t see very often – it’s almost impossible to surprise or embarrass Sam. But she seems to be both right now, and Lena is fucking _mortified_.

“I am…_so_ sorry,” Lena says, itching to answer Kara but clearing the text notifications instead, painfully aware of how deep her blush is. “I should have checked first, I didn’t even _think_ –“

Sam raises her hands, looking genuine if a little shaken. “It’s totally fine! It’s your phone.”

“I got distracted, and I forgot that we were –“ Lena starts, but she changes tactics rapidly when Sam’s eyes go even wider. “You shouldn’t have had to see that.”

“It’s _fine_,” Sam insists, but the mortification doesn’t go away. It crawls over her skin, and Lena groans, sinking into her desk chair and rubbing her temples.

“That was _so_ inappropriate,“ she mumbles. She can’t look Sam in the eye, but Sam seems less and less bothered by the second.

“Okay firstly, the fact that _that_ is so commonplace in your life that you forgot you were doing it in the middle of a workday is…really something,” Sam says, with a laugh. “But Lena, honestly, I’m just impressed. I didn’t know you had it in you. I didn’t know _Kara_ had it in her, my _god_.”

She really does sound impressed. Sam sinks into the chair opposite Lena, leaning forward and putting her forearms on the desk like she’s preparing to dive into a conversation, and Lena raises an eyebrow.

“Really?”

“I’ve known you for over 15 years now, and until this moment, I had assumed you only had sex in the missionary position.”

Sam looks dead serious, and Lena laughs abruptly as her friend’s quick and easy digestion of the situation becomes clear.

“I feel like I should be insulted by that?” Lena says, and Sam gestures wildly.

“You never talk about sex! Ever! And Kara is so sweet, I sort of assumed you guys were just wholesome and boring like everyone else,” Sam says, propping an elbow on the desk and putting her chin in her hand. “But now I learn you’re _kinky_!”

“We’re _not_ –“ Lena starts to deny instinctually, but Sam waves her off, pointing at her phone still sitting on the edge of the desk where Lena left it.

“Oh, don’t try to lie to me now. I _saw_.”

Right now, more than any other moment of her life previous, Lena wishes the floor would open up and swallow her whole. She’s infinitely thankful that along with being brutally honest Sam is one of the most intuitive people she knows, and she picks up Lena’s discomfort easily.

“Lena, I’m not judging. I promise,” Sam insists, reaching over the desk and giving Lena’s arm a reassuring squeeze. “Honestly, I’m a little jealous. It’s been years since anyone wanted to put their entire hand inside me.”

Along with being honest and intuitive, Sam is also joyfully irreverent, and Lena often finds herself both grateful and wondering how they ever become friends.

“_Sam_!” she hisses, as if someone in her huge empty office is going to overhear – but she can’t hide her smile, and Sam leans in conspiratorially.

“Okay, tell me all about it. Man, Kara, a _top_? I never would have thought,” she says, shaking her head. Lena chuckles, rubbing at the blush she knows is still vibrant across her cheekbones.

“She surprised both of us.”

Sam yells wordlessly, clapping her hands with gleeful enthusiasm. “_Yes_! Dish, Luthor. Tell me more.”

It feels freeing, sharing everything with Sam. She doesn’t give any more specifics for Sam to yell over, but it’s undeniably good to confide in someone besides Kara about the strange, wonderful turn their relationship has taken. How they’ve come closer, become stronger than ever, all through this new effort and connection.

“Wow,” Sam says almost dreamily, her chin in her hand as Lena finishes describing the way their dynamic has made Lena more confident at work. “If I wasn’t jealous of your relationship before, I certainly am now.”

Lena chuckles, zipping her necklace back and forth on its chain. It’s one that Kara gave her on their fifth wedding anniversary, and it’s always been a favourite. “It’s been a long road, but…I’m grateful.”

There’s a moment of comfortable quiet between them, Sam looking somewhere into the middle distance. She can hear the distant sound of her assistant’s keyboard, the trill of a phone ringing before being picked up – and then the much closer sound of her phone buzzing again, two texts arriving in quick succession.

It’s closer to Sam than it is to Lena.

Lena snatches for the phone as quickly as she can, but not quickly enough to stop Sam’s eyes from flicking over and then rapidly away again, and a fresh wave of mortification sweeps over her at the content.

**[Kara]: So, I found this kit that lets you use a doorframe instead? With these leather cuffs**

**[Kara]: I know how much you like leather**

Lena flips her phone over, but before she can open her mouth to apologize again Sam is laughing at her in amused disbelief.

“You _really_ need to turn off message previews.”

Lena deflates, leaning forward and pressing her forehead into the cool surface of the desk with a groan. “I _know_.”

Sam gives her a few seconds to collect herself before she offers her next indignity.

“So…a St. Andrew’s Cross, huh?

Lena turns off her message previews.

* * *

Fourth grade doesn’t sour Conner’s disposition in the way that Lena worried it might. As the fall progresses he’s still bright, still curious and kind – but there are times when he’s quiet and withdrawn, and Kara mentions more than once that he seems hesitant to get out of the car in the morning when she drops him off at school. She wonders at the cause, but he still seems happy when he’s at home or with his friends, so Lena shelves her instinct to helicopter parent and lets things happen as they happen.

It isn’t until his first report card comes home that they see what the problem is. Lena knows she’s in for a rough night when the moment he hands it to them, he starts to cry.

Kara, bless her, is gentle to a fault while Lena struggles to keep her own mother’s vitriolic parenting _deep_ down. Kara comforts him as he tells them tearfully about his teacher, how she treats him differently and he doesn’t know why – it reminds Lena of last year, when he’d almost been suspended for standing up for himself.

She wonders, not for the first time, if it’s time to switch school districts.

“A C+?” Lena whisper-yells, once Kara has calmed him down and tucked him into bed and they have a few moments of privacy. “His _highest_ _grade_ is a C+? He got straight A’s last year. It’s not possible for his grades to drop this much so fast.”

“I look over his homework,” Kara says, shaking her head. “And so do you, sometimes. He always does it, and I never see any issues. Is he not handing it in?”

Lena scans over the comments, her blood boiling hotter the more scathing they become. She’s only met Conner’s teacher once, and she had definitely been rude and stand-offish – but this is just absurd.

“Conner says she never calls on him, and then gets him in trouble for not participating,” Lena says, scanning over the claims that Conner’s reading level is below average. “She’s a fourth grade teacher. Do you really think she has that much of a stick up her –“

Lena cuts off when she reads the note at the bottom, next to where she and Kara are supposed to sign.

_‘Please call to schedule a meeting about your son’s performance.’_

Oh, Lena is going to call, all right.

Lena expects to be the one making heads roll, when they finally meet with Ms. Smythe. Since Kara is busy on a lead she takes her towncar to drop Conner off at karate, and spends the rest of the ride back to his school stewing over exactly how she’s going to rip the woman apart at the seams until she gives Conner fair treatment.

She doesn’t expect Kara to show up with a strap-on in her pants, nor does she expect to end up with it enthusiastically jammed down her throat in the school parking lot after Kara made an absolute mockery of every pretense Ms. Smythe tried to offer – but if there’s one thing Lena has learned from this experience, it’s that Kara is and always will be full of wonderful surprises.

Thankfully, Conner seems to have no suspicions about what his parents were doing just a few minutes before he got into the car. He just throws his karate stuff into the backseat and chatters the whole way home, seeming brighter and more hopeful than he has in a while now that he knows they’ve talked to his teacher. He’s up the stairs the second they get home for his usual Friday PlayStation time, and when Kara shuts the bedroom door behind them, Lena relaxes for the first time since she came in Kara’s lap earlier.

“That was close,” Lena mumbles into her hands, sinking down onto the bed and rubbing them over her face. “One of these days he’s going to clue in, you know.”

Kara shrugs, sitting next to her and throwing an arm around her shoulders. Lena can still see the outline of the strap under her pants, sitting thick against her thigh, and it makes her brain almost stutter to a halt.

“Well, he won’t learn sex-ed until 6th grade. We have a while.”

Lena snorts, leaning onto Kara’s offered shoulder. “And what’s our solution when he _is_ old enough to understand?”

Kara’s answer is instantaneous.

“Secret sex dungeon.”

Lena laughs, clapping a hand over her mouth to keep the sound from carrying upstairs. “Oh, of course. The most logical conclusion.”

“I’m serious!” Kara continues, grinning happily at Lena’s good mood. “Soundproofed walls, sturdy bedposts, all that stuff. We’d finally have a place to put all our paraphernalia that isn’t the back of the closet.”

Lena stands, the warm and slippery remains of their car tryst making itself known between her legs. She can’t hide her blush, but she busies herself taking out her earrings and setting her bracelets and necklace in their proper places in her jewelry box. Kara follows, wrapping her arms around Lena’s middle and resting her chin on a shoulder.

“That would take a while to build,” Lena says, pointedly avoiding eye contact in the mirror hanging over her dresser. “By the time it was finished, you might not even want to use it anymore.”

“I’m never going to stop wanting you,” Kara murmurs, nuzzling into Lena’s neck. As always, the move sends warm tingles down Lena’s spine.

“No?” Lena says, trailing her fingers over the backs of Kara’s hands where they rest against her belly. “So we’re going to be those 90 year old grandmothers dislodging their hip replacements in the bedroom?”

“Absolutely. I’ll be going down on you with my oxygen tank.”

Lena laughs again, letting her head fall back onto Kara’s shoulder. Kara uses it as an opportunity to nip gently at her exposed throat, and the laughter cuts off as Lena’s heart picks up at the little sparks of pain.

“Well,” she says, clearing her throat, “I’m already halfway there. I’m going to have to start dying my hair soon, with the amount of grey I’ve been finding lately.”

“_Dye it_?” Kara says abruptly, pulling back and looking down at Lena like she’s just suggested committing a war crime. “Why would you _ever_ do that?”

“They’re grey hairs,” Lena says, as if that explains everything, and Kara continues to look at her like she’s insane.

“I like them,” Kara argues, tracing her fingers over the thin salt-and-pepper streak that’s started to form at the front of Lena’s hair. It’s usually not noticeable if she has it up, but since her hair is black, she only has so long before it becomes unavoidable. “They’re sexy.”

“What’s sexy about grey hair?” Lena asks, and Kara shrugs.

“Maturity. Experience,” she says, continuing her trace until she reaches the elastic holding Lena’s updo together. She tugs it gently until Lena’s hair spills out, running her hands through the strands. “MILF vibes.”

“Oh, stop it_,_” Lena hisses, smacking Kara’s free arm, but Kara just giggles.

“If you really need reassurance about how much I like it, I’m happy to show you.”

All it takes is a nod and Conner gets to bring his PlayStation over to his cousins’ house, Alex and Kelly get a few hours of babysitting duty, and Lena gets to strip and kneel upright on the bed with Kara behind her. Kara is equally naked but still hasn’t taken off the harness, and while the strap she’d been wearing is now lying next to the sink, Kara has lined up a few other options from their toybox on the duvet behind them. Kara is moulded to her back as closely as she can be, and Lena can feel the metal buckles warming between their pressed skin.

“I want you to see yourself like I see you,” Kara murmurs, and Lena watches in their reflection as long fingers slide around her hips and over her belly. “See how much I want you.”

Kara has moved the bed across the room to be closer to the mirror, and as a result Lena can see herself pretty clearly. Much more clearly than she’d usually prefer, actually – she can see all of her imperfections, and it’s doing the opposite of what Kara seems to want it to. All she can think about is all the reasons Kara _shouldn’t_ want her.

“I certainly see myself,” Lena mutters. She fixes her eyes somewhere over Kara’s shoulder, but in her periphery she can see her frown.

“Hey. If this is bothering you, we can stop.” Kara is as sweet and understanding as ever, and Lena bites her lip.

“No, it’s just – I’m not used to staring at my every imperfection for so long,” she admits, casting her eyes downward. Kara cups her chin, raising it back up to meet her eyes in their reflecton.

“I love every one of those things you fixate on,” Kara says, her voice overflowing with genuine emotion. “_Every_ one of them is sexy.”

Lena swallows. It’s impossible to doubt what Kara is saying, especially given how often she says it inside and outside the bedroom – perhaps it’s vanity, but Lena still wants to hear it again.

“Like what?” she asks quietly, and Kara lets go of her chin with a soft smile.

“Like,” Kara says thoughtfully, gently pulling Lena’s hair over her shoulder, “Well, like your hair.”

“It isn’t as nice as it used to be,” Lena offers weakly as Kara scratches at her scalp.

“Mmm, not true,” Kara counters. Lena has always melted the second someone plays with her hair, and Kara is mercilessly using it to her advantage. “It’s just different. It’s thick and soft and always smells amazing.”

“That’s just my shampoo.”

“So? Still hot.” Kara kisses her ear, and her free hand comes up and traces over the Lena’s grey peppering Lena’s hairline. “And every time I see these, I want to do exactly this.”

“You’re turned on by the fact that I’m getting old?” Lena says incredulously. Kara shakes her head.

“I like that we’re aging together,” Kara clarifies. She moves her fingers down to smooth over the wrinkle between Lena’s brows, the laugh lines at the corners of her eyes, maintaining eye contact in the mirror all the while. “Both of us, changing and growing together. For the rest of our lives. We’re never going to be 25 again, but I love knowing that we’re slightly different people with every day, and I get to be along for the ride with you.”

“Oh,” Lena breathes. Her chest feels tight at the raw honesty in Kara’s voice, and as Kara moves down to cup her breasts she can feel herself relaxing into the touch. “Well. That’s…surprisingly poetic.”

Kara squeezes gently, and flashes Lena the mischievous smile that she fell in love with so long ago. “I also just think women over 40 are _super_ hot.”

Lena laughs. She’s relaxing more by the minute, as Kara’s hands move down to smooth over her stomach and scratch her snort-bitten nails back up. “I’ve known that since we met. I remember your baby crush on Cat Grant.”

Kara groans, letting her forehead fall down onto Lena’s shoulder.

“You’re never going to let me live that down, huh?”

“Never,” Lena says sagely. “And, I’m not 40 for another 2 years, so tread carefully.”

“Well, that just goes to show that you’re going to get hotter every year.”

Kara’s thumbs brush over her nipples, and Lena’s breath hitches at the clear intention. After a few seconds the light tone burns away into real desire – the mirth leaves Kara’s eyes, giving way to the focused fire that drives Lena crazy. With intent Kara does it again more slowly, tracing her fingertips around the slowly-stiffening peaks.

As always, Lena doesn’t need to be asked twice.

“Let me show you,” Kara murmurs, mouthing kisses down the side of her neck. They’re hot and half-teeth, nipping little red marks over her skin, and with a sigh Lena gives herself over to them. She shifts her knees further apart on the bed, leaning back into Kara’s solid frame and arching herself into those talented hands, and Kara takes the green light.

“I’ve always loved your chest,” Kara continues, trapping Lena’s nipples between the V of her fingers and rolling them in a way that makes her whimper. “You’re so sensitive. React to everything I do. Remember when I made you come just sucking on your nipples?”

Lena shivers at the memory, feeling herself clench around nothing as Kara recreates the feeling with her hands. It had been a unique type of torture, when Kara had tied her spread-eagled and refused to touch anywhere but her chest – but the orgasm she’s reached had been deep and real, and made all the more intense just by knowing all it took was some focused nipple play.

“You’re remembering it, aren’t you?” Kara grins, watching as Lena’s nipples harden fully. Kara’s never do the same – they’re always soft and pink, and no matter how hard Lena works Kara just doesn’t have the same level of sensation. But Kara doesn’t seem to mind – she just fixates on Lena, instead.

“Yes,” Lena admits, her breath catching in her throat. Kara nudges her knees further apart, and the movement draws Lena’s eyes to the mirror – she can see herself being spread, can see that she’s already embarrassingly wet. She can _hear_ it as her legs are spread – and so can Kara.

“You always get so wet for me,” Kara sighs, one hand abandoning its place to slide down to her pelvis. With two careful fingers she spreads Lena’s cunt, revealing the slick bud of her clit, and Lena’s thighs start to tremble. “So fast. I love knowing that you want it so badly. That you want _me_.”

“I do,” Lena breathes, wishing she could spread herself even more to Kara’s gaze. The fact that Kara’s gaze is also her own is proving to be just as electrifying as Kara suggested it would be – she’s seeing what Kara sees, and seeing her desire in real time as she takes it in. “Always.”

Kara notices the shake of her thighs right away. With a quick kiss to Lena’s shoulder she leans back, and the mirror allows Lena to see exactly what she’s doing – grabbing one of the toys lined up in a row, and slipping it into the harness with hands that aren’t quite as steady as Kara pretends.

The one she chooses is slightly larger than average, and the sight of it makes longing curl dark and deep in her belly.

“Come here,” Kara whispers, strong hands gripping her hips and lifting them slightly. She pulls Lena back and over the toy now jutting from her pelvis to sit behind it, mostly in her lap and spread wide over her thighs – her knees aren’t even touching the bed anymore. Her weight is entirely on Kara, her calves barely brushing the mattress.

The shaft of the toy presses hard against her clit, and Lena can’t help but grind into it with a whimper.

She half expects Kara to stop her. It’s a game they often play, Lena chasing her orgasm and Kara holding her back until she begs for it – but this time Kara’s hands on her hips don’t anchor her. They press her harder, encourage her to roll her hips again as pleasure zips through her body.

“I love seeing you lose control,” Kara says, her hands digging into the flesh of Lena’s hips but not holding her firm. Her voice is low and rough, and the familiarity of the hunger in it has Lena bucking her hips into the toy again – and watching herself do so in the mirror is a whole other layer of sensory input. She can see her own wildness, can see herself slowly losing her mind as she arches and rubs herself, and Kara’s eyes are flitting all over her body like she can’t decide where to look. Moving across her thighs, her cunt, her chest, her mouth - like she wants to devour her but can’t choose where to start.

“Inside,” Lena gasps, and before she can even think of a way to beg for Kara to fuck her properly, she reacts. Kara uses her grip on Lena’s hips to lift her, lines her up with the strap, and lets her sink down at her own pace – which, with how unusually large the toy is and her tensed position, is agonizingly steady. She wants it inside, _needs_ it, but her body screams at her to take it slow.

When she’s finally flush with Kara’s lap again, spread and stretched full and exposed to her own gaze along with Kara’s, she has to squeeze her eyes shut.

It’s overwhelming, being this exposed. Lena tries to keep her eyes closed, focus on the sensations instead, but that goes out the window when one of Kara’s hands moves up and settles on her throat.

It’s purely for show. The pressure on her throat is almost nonexistent, not enough to really restrict her breathing – but Lena’s eyes are open again, and as a visual it works like magic. Kara’s hand spans the entirety of her neck, wrapping around to grip near her arteries but not pressing down, and it’s exactly the nudge she needs. Lena loses herself in their reflection, overcome with a sudden desperation to come.

“That’s it,” Kara pants, and Lena can feel her starting to tremble with the effort of holding both of them up. “I want you to watch yourself. Watch what you look like while I fuck you. You’re _so_ beautiful, Lena.”

Exertion isn’t enough to stop Kara. She doesn’t let up even as her muscles strain – she just uses her other hand to lean back slightly and anchor herself to the bed, and rolls her hips up into Lena’s to meet her rhythm.

For the first time since this started, Lena doesn’t see imperfection when she watches their reflection in the mirror. She sees something beautiful in their movement, the coordinated rocking of their bodies – in Kara’s hand on her throat, in her own sweaty face and the slick toy sliding in and out of her cunt. The pace isn’t even hard given their position, but the sight of herself the way that Kara sees her – desperate, trusting, _beautiful _– is enough to make up for it.

And she can’t stop watching herself be fucked.

“I love being able to see,” Kara gasps, her eyes trained exactly where Lena’s are – at the wet silicone so visibly sliding in and out of her. She can see every inch, can see how her cunt catches on every outstroke in an effort to keep her inside, and so can Kara. “Sometimes I come just watching you. Seeing you let go.”

“Kara,” Lena whines, rasping through the pressure on her throat. She can’t think much beyond her wife’s name, can’t figure out how to articulate her need - but Kara always responds to it, and it’s no different this time. “_Kara_ –“

Quickly, before too much momentum can be lost, Kara lets go of Lena’s throat and grabs for her wrist. She’s been clinging hard to her own knees this whole time to keep from falling over, and with clear intent Kara pries one of her hands free and shoves it down between her legs before returning to her gentle choking.

She wants Lena to touch herself.

She knows that Kara likes watching her do it. It’s a common request, especially when Lena is on top – Kara’s eyes always zero in on the friction, and watching it just makes her thrust up all the harder. Like it activates some kind of deep instinct. Doing it now, when they both have to watch, when she can see both the image of her own debauchery and Kara’s face as she watches it, is like a small explosion in her brain.

Her hand is so shaky as she rubs messy circles over her clit that she hardly has to exert any effort – her trembling does it for her, the tension in her abdomen pulling so tight that she’s surprised Kara can move her hips at all. But Kara keeps going, and Lena keeps rubbing, and Kara is making delicious little noises in her ear as her entire being _seizes _for that single moment –

She’s so very glad that they sent Conner away instead of just locking the door, because she couldn’t quiet herself if she tried.

Usually Kara likes to guide her through her orgasm, extending it as long as possible by keeping up a slow, lazy rhythm as Lena comes down. A long stretch of bliss until either the aftercare starts or she ramps back up for another round.

This time, Kara collapses onto her back almost as soon as Lena has peaked.

“Fuck!“ Lena grunts, as the sudden disappearance of Kara’s body throws her off balance. She manages to roll to the side before her full weight falls back onto Kara’s prone form, but it dislodges the toy from inside her, and she flops onto the mattress feeling jarringly empty. “Jesus –“

“Sorry,” Kara says immediately, her breath coming in short gasps. Her face is flushed with more than arousal - Lena can see her muscles trembling, and any irritation she has about the unceremonious end to her orgasm dissipates. Kara is clearly exhausted, and the fact that she lasted so long holding them both up is a miracle in itself.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Lena soothes, reaching over to rub at Kara’s arms in a makeshift massage. Kara is still wearing the harness she’s been wearing since their parent-teacher meeting, and Lena starts to unbuckle it when Kara doesn’t react. “I honestly can’t believe you held me up for that long.”

“My arms hurt,” Kara groans, and Lena grins as the last buckle comes free and she can slide it down her legs. Kara’s knees are still hinged over the edge, and the tangle of slick silicone and leather and metal hits the ground with a wet-sounding _slap_. “And my legs. And my back. It _all_ hurts.”

“Poor baby,” Lena croons, slipping off the end of the bed and arranging herself on the floor. “Let me help.”

“Can’t move,” Kara mutters. Lena snorts, and takes hold of her knees to tug until her hips are closer to the edge. The harness has dug deep red lines into her hips, and Lena soothes them with her tongue as Kara tries to tangle her fingers in her hair.

“Then let me take care of you.”

Kara seems more than happy to let her. In a patented Danvers move Lena props one of Kara’s legs over her shoulder and dips forward, and they both groan at the first touch.

It’s clear how badly Kara needs this, as much as she can’t move enough to ask for it herself. She’s so wet that it makes a slick sound when Lena spreads her open, so wet that the moment Lena drags her tongue through it makes a mess of her face, and with the slightest bit of focused attention it takes a record 13 seconds for Kara to shake apart on her tongue.

As much as she loves going down on Kara more than possibly anything else in the world, Lena is relieved when she’s able to flop next to her and snuggle into the crook of her arm. Kara, still recovering from her workout and quick-and-dirty orgasm, moves enough to place a tired kiss on her forehead before her head falls back again.

“I’ll go get Conner,” Lena says, chuckling at the way Kara sags in relief. “You deserve a nap. You deserve a _lot_ more than that, but you’re too tired to receive it.”

“’m not too tired,” Kara grumbles, resolutely spreading her legs again despite not being able to open her eyes. Lena shakes her head fondly.

“How about we just save your reward, hm? Until you can enjoy it fully.”

“’kay.”

Kara is drifting off already. As her breathing evens out Lena carefully sits up to get dressed, wincing slightly at the soreness of her inner thighs. She’s going to feel it tomorrow.

Worth it, though.

She’s dressed and just slipping through the door when Kara calls out, still lying unmoving with her legs dangling off the bed.

“Babe?”

“Yes?” Lena replies, heading back to the bed to smooth a hand over Kara’s sweaty forehead. “Do you need anything before I go?”

Kara’s answer is both not what Lena was expecting, and completely _wonderfully_ in-character.

“What do you think about a mirror on the ceiling?”

Lena leaves Kara there to giggle at her own overtired genius, smiling to herself as she heads out to the car. When she turns the ignition she catches sight of her reflection in the rearview mirror, and this time, she gets a warm feeling at the flashes of silver that glint through the black.

They _are_ sort of sexy.

* * *

After Kara (willingly, _happily_) almost threw her back out proving to Lena exactly how sexy she finds her, she almost thinks that Lena had forgotten about her promise to _reward_ her.

Not that Kara minds, necessarily. Their relationship isn’t based on a points system, and she’s perfectly happy with forgetting about it and enjoying their regular sex life – in fact she _has_ forgotten about it by the time it comes up again, and so her reaction to it is purely instinctual.

It happens, as always, when Conner is gone. His first overnight school trip, in fact, and since it’s with his French class from the grade ahead, Miss Smythe isn’t the chaperone. Conner is free to just be excited.

And so are they.

“So,” Lena says the moment his bus has left the school parking lot, “We have all night. We even have the morning, if you want. What’s your poison?”

“My poison?” Kara asks, her stomach swooping with the kind of thrill she only gets from the promise of lots of free time with her wife. Preferably naked on a horizontal surface, but she isn’t picky.

“What, you thought that Conner was going to go away for the night and we _weren’t_ going to fuck until we both can’t walk?”

Kara’s knuckles go white on the steering wheel, and she can practically feel Lena’s satisfaction from the passenger seat.

“So it’s my choice, huh?” Kara says, and now it’s her turn to feel a thrill at the way Lena shivers in response to the low husk of her voice. The car comes to a stoplight and Lena slowly uncrosses her legs, drawing Kara’s eyes to the movement.

“Mhm. How do you want me?”

How does she want her. As always there are a hundred things she wants to do to her wife, but the distraction of focusing on driving and trying not to stare at the way Lena’s legs are idly opening and closing makes her blurt out the one thing she’d been nervous about asking for.

“I was actually thinking about you taking the reins.”

Lena’s legs stop moving. The light turns green, and as a fierce blush tries to make its way up past her collar Kara directs her eyes resolutely forward.

“You want me to _take_ control?” Lena asks, skepticism bleeding into her voice. “Not give it to you?”

It’s a fair point. Generally their dynamic is centred on a mutually beneficial combination of Lena enjoying a loss of control and Kara _very_ much enjoying giving her what she wants, and they haven’t had too many deviations. But the request is out there, now, and Kara swallows hard as they turn into their neighbourhood.

“Yeah. If you want. No pressure,“ Kara starts to assure her, but Lena interrupts with a new tone of interest.

“Like…when I pegged you?”

The blush she’s been fighting successfully spreads up and across Kara’s face as she remembers that particular day.

“Not exactly. I was thinking more, like…” Kara starts, but her voice fails her for a second when she tries to say the words rattling around in her head. Lena looks at her evenly, non-judgementally, and Kara takes a steadying breath. Lena has always been nothing but eager and accommodating of her new ideas, even if they only end up trying it once.

“Like, you could…use me,” Kara says cautiously. Lena’s eyebrow raises, and she tilts her head in interest.

“_Use_ you?” she asks, and Kara can see the gears in her head turning. “Can you explain what you mean?”

Kara shrugs, reticent to show exactly how badly she wants this.

“Order me around,” Kara clarifies hurriedly. “Use me, to make yourself come. Fuck yourself…with me. If you want.”

The explanation is halting, awkward on Kara’s tongue, but Lena seems to understand. A slow smile spreads across her face, and she reaches across the centre console of the SUV to spread her hand warm and heavy over Kara’s thigh.

“You want me to power bottom?”

The term itself seems silly, a funny label put onto something so ephemeral, but Lena says it with such understanding and an undercurrent of enthusiasm that Kara sags with relief. There’s a spark in Lena’s eyes, the thrill of trying something new, and Kara never should have doubted her wife. Lena wants this too, and that interest gives Kara the courage to suggest something else.

“Yeah. That’s – _yeah_,” Kara sighs, putting the car in park in the driveway. They’ve just arrived at home, but there’s a good chance that soon after this they’ll be backing right out again. “That’s what I want. And I thought that maybe we could go shopping together.”

When they enter their favourite adult shop and Kara leads her nervously to the ‘leather’ section at the back, the spark in Lena’s eyes turns into a flame.

The shop has very strict one-person-per-changing-room rules, for obvious reasons. It means that Kara has to try things on alone, strapping them over her tank top, and go out into the public area to show them off.

The first time she steps out wearing the leather bulldog harness they picked out, Lena stares at her like she wants nothing more than to break the rules and shove them both into the nearest empty room.

“What do you think?” Kara asks, holding her arms out in a _ta-dah!_ gesture. She wasn’t sure how she expected to feel when she tried this on – brass buckles and studs, thick brown leather straps that go over her shoulders and around her ribs in a Y-shape, and a strip of leather connecting them down the centre of her chest. She’d always liked the aesthetic of it, but she wasn’t sure the reality would measure up.

The reality, it turns out, makes her feel like a _stud_.

Lena’s tongue darts out to wet her lips, and she reaches out with a tentative hand to grasp the harness by its front strap right between Kara’s breasts. She tugs it gently at first, and then when Kara _very_ easily lets herself be led forward she pulls harder – a sharp jerk, bringing Kara into her space until their faces are an inch apart.

Kara’s entire body throbs, and Lena’s breath catches as if she can sense it.

“I think we need to go home.”

Payment is exchanged as quickly as possible, and the now-familiar cashier shoots them a wink as Lena pulls her out the door.

The sky is dark when they step outside, and the sidewalk is deserted in this corner of town. To their left is one of the few gay clubs left in the city, and even at 9pm on a Thursday the throbbing music making Kara’s bones rattle. It’s a place they used to frequent a long time ago, when they were newly-out and newly-together and trying to find their footing, but have long since grown out of.

The alley between the shop and the club is the shortest way to get back to their car, so out of habit they move to cut through it – but before they’ve taken a step the side door of the club spills open, and two figures attached at the lips stumble out. Instinctually she and Lena both pause, and as the door slams shut again they back around the corner so as not to interrupt.

Kara has very fond memories of fucking Lena in that alley, and she wouldn’t want to take that away from anyone else.

“Let’s just go the long way around –“ Kara whispers, but Lena doesn’t budge. She’s peering around the corner with a shocked, intent expression, and Kara frowns at her.

Lena likes to watch playback of _them_ having sex, sure, but Kara never thought she was a voyeur.

“Lena?” She asks tentatively, but Lena waves a hand to quiet her, pointing at the couple in the alley.

“Look!”

Kara looks.

The two women currently trying to shove their hands in each other’s jeans look almost like Lena and Kara, from a distance – the taller one has almost white-blonde hair, and she’s pressing the shorter brunette into the wall and practically ripping the button of her jeans in her haste. Kara can see the moment when her fingers make contact, and it makes her feel uncomfortable enough that she almost turns away – until she sees what Lena was trying to point out.

The brunette turns her face towards them, her eyes closed in bliss, and Kara knows her face. It’s contorted in pleasure rather than set in judgement, but her shiny crucifix glints against the streetlight.

It’s Miss Smythe.

“Oh my god,” Kara breathes. Lena, peeking around the corner slightly below her, shakes her head.

“This explains _so_ much.”

From the alley Kara can hear hushed voices, their mutual desperation clear.

“We can take this back to my place –“ the blonde is saying in a low, raspy voice, but Miss Smythe cuts her off.

“Don’t talk. Just – just touch me.”

There’s a short, derisive laugh from the blonde.

“Whatever you want, Princess. If you want to get fucked in an alley, I’ll fuck you in an alley.”

“God, _shut up_ –“

Her words are swallowed by a moan, and Kara steps away, knowing they’ve been here far too long. She tugs Lena by the hand, guiding her away from the private moment. “Come on.”

“Can you _believe_ that?” Lena rants the moment they’re out of earshot, as they take the long way around the block. “How the hell does she get off judging us when she’s getting regularly fucked in an alley by some woman?!“

Kara shrugs. She’s still processing, but right now she feels more sympathy than anger.

“Clearly, she gets off perfectly fine.”

Lena rolls her eyes, and Kara gives her hand a gentle squeeze.

“It’s clear that she’s wrestling with some serious self-loathing, Lena. I mean, do you remember how closeted we both were when we met?” Kara reasons, recalling memories that she’d rather forget herself. “You were fresh off of using Jack as a beard to try and forget Andrea ever happened, and I hadn’t even had the _thought_ of bisexuality until I met you. Remember how long it took us to admit how we felt?”

Lena shudders, her look of distaste mirroring Kara’s. “Don’t remind me.”

“I’m just saying! I know it took me a bit to get past all the internalized crap and come to terms with my feelings for you. Clearly she has some stuff to work through.” Kara is right and Lena knows it, but she persists in her irritation anyways, and Kara lets it go. Lena will process it in her own time.

“That’s all well and good, but it would be great if she could do it without failing our son because of her internalized homophobia,” Lena grumbles. Kara unlocks the car and Lena wrenches the door open, climbing inside with a huff.

Now that she thinks about it, Lena being in this mood might add to the scenario Kara is hoping to build when they get home. She might have to send Miss Smythe a gift basket.

“You can’t always get what you want,” Kara says quietly, unable to hide her grin as she turns the ignition.

The moment they get home Lena banishes Kara to the bedroom to get ready, and she forgets about Miss Smythe and Conner’s school and everything besides the two harnesses she’s currently hiding under the crisp white shirt and tight slacks Lena requested. Lena asked for a specific toy to be tucked into Kara’s pants, the one with the insert that presses into Kara’s clit and drives her wild, and she settles it into place along her thigh and pulls up her zipper.

She’s not sure what Lena is doing on the other side of the door, but she can’t wait to find out.

Kara is about to raise her hand to gently knock and find out when it opens wide, and Lena is standing in the space in a short robe that Kara has never seen before. It brushes the tops of her thighs, soft and silky in a deep shade of blue. Kara reaches out thoughtlessly to touch it, to pull the silk between her fingers, but Lena’s hand darts out to snatch delicately at her wrist.

“Ah, ah,” Lena says, guiding the offending hand back down to her side. “You wanted orders? No touching until I say so.”

Lena turns and heads down the hall, her ponytail whirling behind her and almost hitting Kara in the face, and Kara’s skin erupts in goosebumps.

“Are we not…going into the bedroom?” Kara asks tentatively, and Lena stops at the end of the hall to level her with a look that melts her like butter.

“Are you going to follow me, or do I have to use that harness already?”

_Jesus_. Clearly, Kara’s efforts all those weeks ago buoyed Lena’s confidence in a major way.

Kara follows.

The lights are low in the living room, and Lena is perched expectantly on the edge of the coffee table when Kara wanders in. Her legs are crossed, and she slowly uncrosses them as Kara approaches.

“Take a seat.”

It’s a good thing Kara was already most of the way to the couch, because her knees get a little wobbly at the request. She sinks onto the leather cushion with a shaky exhale, and Lena rises to her feet.

“Are you sure you want this?” Kara says quietly, all pretense dropping for a moment as Lena traces her fingers down the side of her face. The warm hand cups her jaw and Kara presses into it, turning to lay a kiss on her open palm.

Lena’s reply is firm. “Positive. I’ll tell you if I want to stop.”

Kara relaxes, and Lena’s hand retracts. She misses the contact immediately, but it’s replaced with something better - Lena’s hands settle at her sides, and she distracts Kara with a gentle command.

“Open my robe for me?”

The robe is cinched with a loose knot, and Kara unwinds it eagerly. The robe is nice, but what she really wants is for Lena to be naked, even if she isn’t allowed to touch her.

The robe parts, and Lena is not naked.

She’s wearing lingerie. _Complicated_ lingerie. Very complicated, very crimson, very _hot_ lingerie that she bought for Kara’s birthday a few years ago. Kara had forgotten about it, and seeing it now strapped over Lena’s creamy skin genuinely takes her breath away.

“_God_,” Kara groans, clenching her fists in the silk and pulling until her face is pressed to Lena’s belly. The skin is warm and soft, and Kara gets a few seconds of contact before Lena eases a hand into her hair and tugs until Kara is looking up at her face. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s a reminder of the rules that brings Kara back to herself.

“Sorry,” Kara whispers, slowly letting her hands unclench and come back down to her sides. “I just – I thought I was the one dressing up?”

Lena smiles, her nails scratching at Kara’s scalp. Kara is painfully aware, suddenly, of the pressure of the strap-on currently pressed into her clit– the longer this goes on, the more insistent her arousal becomes, and she isn’t sure she’ll be able to go much longer without grinding herself into something for just a tiny bit of relief.

“I like the way you look at me when I wear it,” Lena says, her eyes flitting over Kara’s face. “How much you want me. Do you want me, Kara?”

“Yes,” Kara breathes, without hesitation. It’s possible that she’s never wanted anything as much as she wants Lena in this moment, and Lena sees it. She looks exhilarated by it, energized by Kara’s desire.

“Good. Don’t speak unless I ask you a question.”

_Fuck_. The throbbing pressure between her legs doubles, and Kara’s nails scratch against the cushion as she curls her hands into fists. Her heart is pounding, and it only gets worse when Lena presses insistently on her shoulder until she’s leaned into the back of the couch.

“Arms up.”

Kara raises her arms immediately and rests them along the back of the couch. The position looks almost casual, but Kara feels anything but as Lena climbs into her lap – she drapes her arms over Kara’s shoulders and grinds herself down so firmly that Kara can’t help but whimper, the pressure of her weight pressing down on the toy and grinding it into Kara’s clit.

She wants to push up, press harder. She wants to grab Lena’s hips and pull them down, to fumble the toy out of her pants and fuck her wife until both of their bodies give out. But this was her own request, and she can’t deny the way that Lena’s attitude is making her brain melt. Following her impulses to their obvious conclusion is good, but reining them in to follow Lena’s rules is new and exciting.

Even if having Lena’s chest in her face and not being able to _do_ anything about it is making her want to rip the lacy bra off with her teeth.

“How long have you been thinking about this?” Lena asks, rolling her hips up and into Kara’s again. Her voice is low and smoky, but Kara can hear the hitch in it when Lena makes contact with her pants.

“A long time?” Kara says distractedly, too focused on the heat she can already feel through the layers of fabric. She wants to look down and see if Lena has left a wet spot on her thigh, but she also wants to look at what’s in front of her face, and the conflict makes her clumsy.

Lena tugs on her hair again, and Kara abandons her inner battle to look up at her face instead.

“Specifics.”

“Since – since you pegged me,” Kara stammers. Lena looks gorgeous, the soft light hitting the sharp line of her jaw as she undulates slowly in Kara’s lap, and it’s stealing her words away. “I kept thinking about it.”

“And it took you this long to ask?” Lena unbuttons Kara’s shirt slowly, _deliberately_, smoothing it away from her shoulders to grasp at the harness as Kara struggles to form coherent replies.

“I wasn’t sure you’d like it.”

“So far, I’m enjoying myself immensely.” Lena sounds wicked, and Kara doesn’t doubt her words. She grinds down again, and Kara’s hips twitch into the movement - but Lena gives her a warning look, and Kara anchors herself again.

The reward will be worth it.

“Lena, _god,” _Kara breathes, half to herself. There’s a tension in her lower belly, the kind that usually explodes into pleasure with very little intervention, and the one-two punch of Lena’s warm body within reach and her raspy voice is hurrying the problem along.

It’s both unbearably hot and supremely unhelpful to her problem when Lena tugs hard on the harness, bringing their lips within a whisper of each other.

“Every time you break a rule, I get one more orgasm before you’re allowed to come,” Lena murmurs, her breath hot against Kara’s skin. It takes every ounce of her willpower not to close the half-inch of distance and kiss her. “Green?”

Kara swallows her plea, and wills herself not to come before Lena has even undone her pants.

“_So_ green.”

If Kara had thought Lena was grinding in earnest before, she had no idea exactly how much her wife could torture her. As soon as she gives the green light Lena starts rolling her hips _hard_, with intent, rubbing her clit on the hard bulge of the toy and letting out breathy moans in a slow crescendo. Kara is shaking by the time Lena lets up, gripping the couch cushion to keep her hands from wandering – and Lena seems to have little regard for her efforts. She fumbles with Kara’s button and zipper for a moment but her hands are surprisingly steady when she pulls the toy out, and she gives Kara no time to adjust before she’s sinking down onto it with a relieved sound.

Kara feels like she’s going to black out.

Lena is relentless. Right away she starts her own rhythm that Kara has to bite the inside of her own cheek not to follow with her hips, and Kara has to repeat the rules in her head to keep from breaking them. _No touching, no talking._

She wants to fuck Lena _so_ badly, but Lena doesn’t need her. She’s being used - an instrument of Lena’s self-pleasure rather than a catalyst, and she’s never seen anything hotter than the way Lena rides her with total abandon, using the harness for leverage. It’s exactly what Kara asked for, and she couldn’t be more grateful for her own torture.

What makes it harder, though, is the fact that every movement Lena makes presses the strap harder into Kara’s clit. And she knows it, too – Lena is pushing her hips forward as she fucks herself in a way that Kara knows isn’t for her own benefit. It’s because she can hear the whines that Kara can’t keep at bay, and she wants to watch her struggle.

Everything Lena does seems to be a specific attempt to make her break. Using the harness as leverage, whining her name, arching her back until her chest is in Kara’s face – all of it is calculated, even as Lena gets closer to the edge.

When Lena pulls the devastating move of reaching behind and unsnapping her own bra, Kara almost loses it. Lena knows all of Kara’s weaknesses, a major one being that she can’t see Lena’s breasts without touching them – and they’re _right there_, close enough for her to pull a nipple into her mouth and see Lena’s always-hot reaction to the sensation. It’s maddening, made worse just how close Kara is to coming when she’s not supposed to.

The closer Lena gets, the closer Kara gets. And the closer Kara gets, the less control she has over herself – she’s actually impressed with how long she lasts before she finally gives in and presses her face into Lena’s chest, getting a few seconds of contact and mouthing messy kisses on her skin before Lena yanks on the back of the harness. Kara hits the back of the couch again and Lena grinds deep and hard, taking every inch of the toy and pressing it into Kara until she’s whimpering.

“Strike one,” She whispers shakily into Kara’s mouth, and Kara melts into the leather.

Thankfully for Kara’s willpower, it doesn’t take much longer for Lena to come. Her movements get jerky and harsh, her hold on the harness tighter than ever, and Kara has to watch helplessly as Lena’s whole body arches taut and she shakes apart over her lap. The tendons in her neck flex, and Kara’s mouth waters with the urge to bite down there. To taste the sweat of her skin as she chases the tail end of her orgasm, feel the frantic pounding of Lena’s heart under her tongue.

She doesn’t have the opportunity to test her resolve. As soon as Lena is finished she’s already twisting and dragging Kara down with her, pulling the harness until she’s on her back on the cushions and Kara is pressed against her front. She does it so smoothly that the strap-on doesn’t even get dislodged, and she wraps her legs around Kara’s hips the moment they settle into place.

“You can come with me this time,” Lena rasps, her voice showing the wear of chanting Kara’s name for the last several minutes. “But not until I do.”

Nodding frantically, Kara has already started moving before Lena has finished explaining. There’s no starting slow, no buildup to this – Kara is desperate enough for both of them, and even when her hands are anchored to the couch under Lena’s head instead of on her hips where they want to be, her pace is punishing from the start.

At this pace, Kara knows, Lena usually comes hard and fast. She loves being fucked relentlessly, and it would ordinarily take under a minute to push her over the edge. But she can feel Lena resisting, somehow – holding herself off, even though Kara hasn’t asked her to. Drawing it out, like she’s testing Kara’s stamina. Like she’s enjoying watching her fight the urge to just let go.

“Kara you’re so fucking – so good at this, _fuck_,” Lena whines, pulling on the harness like it will make Kara go harder. “So good at fucking me -”

Kara understands, in this moment, why Lena likes to be praised so much. Lena’s instinctive compliments are going straight to her already-tortured clit, and she can fee her orgasm starting to swell on the horizon. It’s unstoppable, like a tidal wave she can see and needs to brace herself for, and she doesn’t have much longer before she breaks.

Lena can feel it too, apparently, nipping on Kara’s earlobe and whispering in a voice that’s all wild desire.

“You’re close, aren’t you?”

Kara can’t even form her thoughts.

“Please –“ Kara chokes into her shoulder, beyond words and so _deeply_ aware of how the usual script has flipped between them. She’s been close since the second Lena climbed into her lap, and now she’s just clinging to the last threads of her control. “Lena, _please_ –“

“No more rules,” Lena pants, her nails digging into Kara’s back under the harness. “Just make me come, love.”

The pet name and Lena’s voice and the words all swirl together in Kara’s head. Some part of her overworked brain acknowledges the dropping of the rules, and with her last ounce of coherence she grabs behind Lena’s knees, pushes them up and over her shoulders, and fucks into her with all her strength.

“Oh, _fuck_, Kara –“ Lena gasps, before Kara bends her almost double and her breath leaves her in a rush. “Yes, yes, _yes_ –“

She chants it like a mantra as Kara dives straight into fucking her with a ferocity she’s never known. She ruts into her selfishly, her speed almost inhuman, chasing her own orgasm with Lena’s body – and Lena can’t help but cry out breathily every time the head catches on the outstroke, the thick head snagging on her entrance whenever Kara pulls out enough.

The frantic pace speeds up even more, Kara’s abs burning with the momentum, but this time it only takes a few seconds of hard pressure for her to push Lena past her limit. She tenses silently with her teeth dug into the leather of the harness, and Kara’s willpower finally breaks – all she can do is follow with a guttural moan as the wave _finally_ pulls her under.

Whether Lena actually came first or not Kara doesn’t know, because the force of her orgasm propels her out of her body and somewhere else entirely. All she knows is heat and pleasure and _relief_ in every nerve ending as she twitches into Lena’s cunt, and it could be anywhere between 6 seconds and a full minute before it ends. Her awareness of her body only comes back to her when it finally gives out, and she collapses onto Lena while her breath comes in harsh, animalistic pants against her skin.

It takes a moment for her to realize that Lena’s thighs are still quivering on either side of her shoulders, and Kara lets them slide down and back into place even as she loses track of time. She can feel herself drifting, slipping into unconsciousness on Lena’s chest while she’s still buried deep inside her, and she feels a surge of affection and love when Lena’s hand wraps around the back of her neck in a grounding hold. A point of connection, as comforting for Lena as for Kara.

“Thank you,” Kara whispers. Lena smooths the damp hair from her brow with a gentle hand.

“For what?”

“Everything. Being you.”

Lena’s chest rumbles with a laugh. “This was your idea. You should be thanking yourself.”

Kara shrugs. “But you gave me what I asked for.”

“You know how you can make it up to me?” Lena says, with a note of slyness. One of her legs slides down to anchor on the floor, and Kara misses the warmth of it immediately.

“How?”

“Pull out. My hips are killing me.”

Oh. Right.

“Sorry,” Kara grunts, carefully easing the strap out without opening her eyes. Lena’s breath catches in that way it always does when she loses that fullness, and Kara moves to slide over to her own side of –

All her equilibrium leaves her when she realizes there’s nothing under her hands, and she nosedives to hit the floor with an undignified squeak.

“_Kara_!” Lena gasps, her reflexes not quite quick enough post-orgasm to grab her before she fell. She strokes Kara’s back, as if the comforting touch will eliminate the pain of the landing.

“Ngh,” Kara replies, her face pressed into the rug.

“Was that my fault?”

Of course Lena’s immediate reaction is to assume that her request put Kara on the floor. Kara groans, turning her face sideways so she can at least face in her wife’s direction.

“No. Forgot we were on the couch,” she grumbles reluctantly.

There’s a beat of silence, and then Lena starts to laugh.

“Don’t,” Kara warns half-heartedly, but Lena only laughs harder. It’s a deep belly-laugh, hard enough that her knees curl up towards her chest on the couch, and it shines a beam of brightness through Kara’s chest even if it’s at her own expense.

“_Stooop_,” Kara moans, but she can’t help but laugh as well. It’s contagious, and Lena is clearly so tickled at her misfortune. “You’re laughing at my pain!”

Lena reaches down and grabs the harness, pulling until Kara is sitting up and she can plant a kiss on her pouting mouth.

“I love you _so_ much. Get back up here.”

* * *

Marriage, Kara thinks, is much harder than people make it out to be.

Since the day they linked themselves together, their lives have changed in ways Kara could never have imagined, both in the bedroom and outside of it. They’re both so different from the people they were when they met, when they fell in love, when they married.

Kara also knows that Lena had never known a successful marriage before she started her own. She’d actually told Kara in the beginning that she was _anti_-marriage, that it was an unnecessary societal shackle she didn’t need. Marriage, for a Luthor, was a political obligation. But after a few years together, Lena had started to talk about it like it was a real possibility. Something she wanted, genuinely. Kara had even caught her looking at rings with an expression of yearning.

Kara, who had always loved the idea of tying herself to Lena symbolically for the rest of their lives, had started to plan – and when Kara got on one knee, there was only one answer in both of their hearts.

Since it was a bit of a surprise that they got married at all, it sometimes surprises Kara when their wedding anniversary sneaks up on them. Neither of them likes fancy date nights anyways, so there isn’t much to prepare for – Conner goes to Eliza’s for the night for a Grandma Sleepover with his cousins, Lena cooks dinner, and Kara lights candles and guides Lena to bed with gentle intent. It’s slow, and soft, and sweet – they’re unhurried in their pace, just enjoying touching and being touched until they come together in a flood of emotion.

They’re kissing the tears from each other’s faces by the end of it, and Kara feels more connected and whole than she has in a long while.

After this long together, so many ups and downs in 12 years of marriage and 15 years as a couple, the recent reminder of how close their closeted selves came to _not_ being together makes Kara nostalgic.

“Do you remember the day we met?” Kara asks quietly to the darkened ceiling. The candles are making it flicker with warm orange light, and Lena’s warm weight on her chest shifts as she looks up at Kara’s face.

“Of course I do,” Lena replies, low and affectionate. “You came barging into my office with your cousin looking for a story about that failed space shuttle launch, and I spent a year trying to pretend I wasn’t attracted to you.”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Kara admits with a grin, tracing along Lena’s shoulder and down between her shoulderblades. “Or talking about you. Clark thought I was crazy, thinking you were innocent right away, but I just knew.”

Even in the semi-darkness, Kara can see how Lena glows at the memory. “You made me feel like turning my brother’s company around was actually a plausible goal. Like I could actually make a difference.”

“I still do. I’ve always believed in you.”

Lena props herself up on an elbow, and Kara uses the opportunity to trace a thumb over her jaw. She follows the line she so often admires with her eyes, and Lena turns her face to try and catch the digit in her teeth – Kara pulls away too fast, and they share a familiar laugh.

“I remember after the first time we made love, having this deep, sure knowledge that this was it for me,” Kara says softly. Lena’s brow furrows, and she wiggles closer to drape over Kara’s torso again.

“You knew that early?”

“If I had been more in touch with myself, I would have known the minute we met.”

“Me too,” Lena admits. “I tried so hard not to be in love with you. I should have known it was impossible.”

She toys with Kara’s necklace as she does it, and the candlelight glints off of her engagement ring. Looking at it and reminding herself of the commitment they made to each other always gives Kara warm feelings, and today of all days it brings to mind memories of the day she gave it to her.

“I think I did okay with the proposal, though. Right?” Kara asks, bringing the hand to her lips and laying kisses around the diamond. Lena laughs, pulling her hand away to tap the tip of Kara’s nose.

“You were so nervous. As if I would have said no.”

“I wasn’t _that_ nervous!” Kara argues, but Lena silences her protest with a look.

“I asked you why my office was scattered in flower petals, and you started to cry.”

“…okay, I was a little nervous,” Kara concedes. “You know, I was a little sad when you renovated that office.”

“I remember. You wouldn’t let me get rid of that old couch.”

“It’s our love couch!” Kara maintains, her opinion unchanged even these many years later. “It’s where I proposed! That’s where we had our first lunch together, our first kiss, our…other first things.”

Lena laughs at the trip down memory lane, smacking Kara on the shoulder. “I still can’t believe I let you fuck me on my office couch after two dates. The closet doors were obliterated after that.”

“If one has the opportunity to have sex with Lena Luthor, one does not _wait_ until there is a bed available. One goes immediately to the closest horizontal surface,” Kara says sagely, and Lena laughs, loud and deep. Kara kisses the crinkles that form at the corners of her eyes.

“You’re a dork,” Lena says, her voice all warmth and love.

“You married me.”

“Yes, I did,” Lena says, leaning forward to say it against her lips. “Best decision I ever made.”

Kara smiles, accepting the kiss Lena offers gladly. It ends with their foreheads pressed together, and Kara takes the moment of vulnerability to speak her mind.

“I love you,” she says, making sure that Lena’s green eyes are on hers as she says it. It’s the truth, and she needs Lena to know it unequivocally. “I love who you were then, and who you are now. And I’ll love who you become in the future. In _our_ future.”

Lena’s eyes are watering at the end of the admission, and Kara pulls her into another kiss before her own tears can spring up as well. She just holds her wife close, and thanks whatever law of the universe brought them together.

Conner graduates 4th grade, at the end of it all, with a noticeable upturn in his grades. Kara thinks it might have something to do with the motorcycle she now often sees in the school parking lot with a familiar white-blonde woman sitting astride it, waiting to pick someone up – but that’s none of her business.

They celebrate the joint event of Conner making it through the tough year and turning 10 years old with a pool party. All of his friends swarm the house, Alex brings over Mason and Kya, and Sam and Ruby even turn up with bathing suits and presents. Kara insists on firing up the little-used barbecue for burgers and hot dogs, but after her first batch comes out blackened on the outside and raw in the middle, Alex takes over despite her protests that she can do better next time.

Alex’s burgers are amazing, much to Kara’s chagrin.

As Conner chases Kya around the yard with a Super Soaker, accidentally spraying a lounging Sam instead and suffering the wrath of his surrogate aunt (she grabs him by the feet and chucks him into the pool, water gun and all), Kara lets the comfort of her family wash over her. She watches Ruby in a spirited game of volleyball with Mason and some of the neighbourhood kids, and Kelly handing Sam a towel after her impromptu soak with a slightly over-friendly smile. Alex watches the interaction distractedly, while Lena tops up the Sunny D in the cooler and leaves another stack of cups for the kids. She catches Kara’s eye as she does it, and flashes her the same dimpled smile she fell in love with 16 years ago.

Their relationship isn’t perfect, Kara knows. Intimacy is difficult to maintain, and more than once they’ve hovered on the edge of drifting apart – at one point, Kara thought they might never recover. But after all of that, she’s come out with this – passion and home tied together, the singular feeling of being seen and loved and coming together as one.

She can’t wait for the rest of their lives.

** _8 years later_ **

“Are we sure he has everything he needs?”

The anxiety in Lena’s voice is as familiar, now, as the back of Kara’s hand. She’s standing by herself in the doorway as Kara and Conner finish up stacking the boxes from the car next to his dorm bed, and she shares a look with her son as Lena bites nervously at her nail beds.

“He’s going to be fine, Lena. He’s been ready to go to college since 8th grade. Right, bud?”

Conner nods, leaving the pile of boxes to wrap Lena’s smaller form in a tight hug. He dwarfs her by almost a foot, now, and she wraps her arms around his lanky frame with a sniffle.

“I promise, momma,” he says quietly, using the childish nickname he hasn’t called Lena since he was young. “I’ll be okay. I’m excited about this. And if I need anything, I know you guys will be in the L-Corp jet as soon as I pick up the phone.”

Lena laughs wetly, squeezing him tight and then, finally, loosening her grip.

“I know. I know you’re ready, I just – I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m gonna miss you guys too,” Conner says, opening up the hug to Kara too. Kara steps in gladly, kissing the top of Lena’s head. “But you guys taught me everything I need. I can cook, and do laundry, and ask for consent before I kiss someone. What more could I need?”

Kara laughs, and ruffles his dark curls as they all step away for some air.

“That’s my guy.”

It takes a few more tearful hugs, but when Conner starts making friends with some of the other students moving in Kara manages to convince her to hit the road. They leave him with a kiss and a promise to call at least twice a week, and by the time Kara finally steers the SUV off campus and towards the freeway Lena looks more composed. She’s thoughtful, gazing out the window, but that doesn’t stop Kara from admiring her.

Kara thinks often these days about how they’ve both aged. They’re changing together, in body and mind, and Kara loves each change as it happens – the lines around Lena’s eyes and mouth, the softness of her hips, the now-prevalent streaks of silver in her hair. It had taken some convincing, but Lena has never once dyed it, and Kara loves it. 

If anything she’s sexier than ever, and Kara’s body warms to her the same way it always has.

The slow wakening of her body as they drive away from Conner’s next big step is familiar in a funny way, and Kara chuckles as she takes the on-ramp.

“What?” Lena says, looking over at her with a quirked brow.

“I’m just thinking.”

“About?” Lena prompts. Kara drums her fingers on the steering wheel.

“About all the other times we saw Conner off to a big adventure.”

As she says it she thinks back over the years – of sending Conner to kindergarten, to middle school, to high school, to summer camp, each with their own pleasant memory that ends with both of them wrung-out and blissed.

Lena’s grin is slow, but wicked.

“Yeah, I can recall a few,” she says wryly. Her hand slides over Kara’s thigh and squeezes, and Kara shifts slightly in her seat, remembering a whole new stack of memories that started in a car.

They might have to pull over.

“Remember those plans you made?” Kara says, and Lena’s hand stills. “For the…basement extension?”

“For the…oh,” Lena breathes, and she can tell that in this moment they’re thinking about exactly the same thing.

When Conner was in the 8th grade, Lena had drawn up architectural plans for what essentially amounted to the _sex dungeon_ that Kara had half-joked about years before. A St. Andrew’s Cross, a bed with integrated restraints, a wall displaying crops and toys – Lena had thought of everything, even things they hadn’t tried yet, and it’s stuck with Kara ever since. It had been an entertaining idea, but one they both knew could never come to fruition with a curious kid in the house.

“I was thinking…” Kara ventures, staring determinedly out the windshield. “Conner is only going to be coming home on holidays. We could get it done before Thanksgiving.”

She can feel Lena’s eyes on her. She breaks her gaze from the road to meet Lena’s across the car, and after a few seconds of contemplation…

Lena smiles.


End file.
